Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
The BBC has just run four episodes of Hancock’s half hour on TV, including The Blood Donor. The televised versions were recorded when Hancock was already in decline, and he had to rely on cue boards positioned just over the other actors’ shoulders. You can see him reading the lines quite clearly - and getting them wrong sometimes.
The Blood Service centre just off Oxford Street in the West End used to have a life sized picture of Hancock on the wall just as you went in, but I haven’t been there for some time now.
The Blood Service centre just off Oxford Street in the West End used to have a life sized picture of Hancock on the wall just as you went in, but I haven’t been there for some time now.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver said: "That`s the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said "Why, he`s a public servant and shouldn`t say things to insult passengers."
"You`re right," she said. "I think I`ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That`s a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey for you."
The bus driver said: "That`s the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said "Why, he`s a public servant and shouldn`t say things to insult passengers."
"You`re right," she said. "I think I`ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That`s a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey for you."
MarkwG said:
Skyedriver said:
Vipers said:
Hancock’s half hour was classic, still have an LP with The blood donor on one side the other side I think is called The Radio Ham.
A pint? that's an armful!Yes I've got that LP too.
But in discussing the script, Galton & Simpson agreed on, "That's very nearly an armful!".
They said that the addition of "very" just made it funnier - despite the fact that neither of them could explain in a tangible way, why.
Geniuses, both.
silverfoxcc said:
Does any else recall the episode where nothing was said for, it seemed like 5 mind, but just sighs
Sunday Afternoon iirc the title
Sunday Afternoon At Home - one of the radio shows and a masterclass in the study of nothing really happening but still being hilarious.Sunday Afternoon iirc the title
The Frasier episode, "My Coffee With Niles" is very similar.
well I never, didn’t know that. Here's one from my olde web page, it's over 20 years ago :
A father was explaining the facts of life to his son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of love-making:
Father: One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the act, even if you are doing the same thing.
Son: What do you mean, Dad?
F: Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation. For example, a prostitute will tend to say, "Are you done yet?" On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask, "Are you done already?"
S: What do other women say?
F: Well, a school teacher will say, "We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!" A nurse will say, "This won't hurt one bit."
S: I thought they said, "Pull down your pants and bend over."
F: That's male nurses. Moving on, a bank teller will say, "Substantial penalty for early withdrawal."
A stewardess will say, "Place this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally."
S: And what does mother say?
F: She says, "Beige... beige... I think we should paint the ceiling beige."
A father was explaining the facts of life to his son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of love-making:
Father: One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the act, even if you are doing the same thing.
Son: What do you mean, Dad?
F: Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation. For example, a prostitute will tend to say, "Are you done yet?" On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask, "Are you done already?"
S: What do other women say?
F: Well, a school teacher will say, "We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!" A nurse will say, "This won't hurt one bit."
S: I thought they said, "Pull down your pants and bend over."
F: That's male nurses. Moving on, a bank teller will say, "Substantial penalty for early withdrawal."
A stewardess will say, "Place this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally."
S: And what does mother say?
F: She says, "Beige... beige... I think we should paint the ceiling beige."
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