Your Other Half's family
Discussion
Is there anyone who gets on better with their partner's family?
I know that mostly individuals will favour their own family as they have grown up with them. However, my two serious relationships I have struggled with the OHs family.
One were like the local mafia. The ex was council made good and hated by his family. Thankfully, my partner felt the same and we managed to put some distance between us and them and only mixed at the parent's funerals.
Second time, the family were more middle class, but the siblings seem to have no motivation to rise above sitting at home on benefits. Again, only mix at weddings and funerals and the occasional Christmas.
Whereas the OH gets on well enough with my family to go on holiday with them and we often meet up for lunch.
I know that mostly individuals will favour their own family as they have grown up with them. However, my two serious relationships I have struggled with the OHs family.
One were like the local mafia. The ex was council made good and hated by his family. Thankfully, my partner felt the same and we managed to put some distance between us and them and only mixed at the parent's funerals.
Second time, the family were more middle class, but the siblings seem to have no motivation to rise above sitting at home on benefits. Again, only mix at weddings and funerals and the occasional Christmas.
Whereas the OH gets on well enough with my family to go on holiday with them and we often meet up for lunch.
I get on fine with my OH's family. She has 5 brothers and they're all decent lads (very helpful when it came to moving house 
) She also has 3 sisters who are all lovely.
In terms of my family (I have 3 brothers/two sisters) my OH thinks that my parents play favourites. It's genuinely never bothered me and it's a fact of like (parents love some of their kids more than others). However it annoys her and there are definitely cliques between the different sisters-in-law. My dad's in his early 80's and has already divided up his assets between his kids. We were all fine with it but some of the sisters-in-law thought it was unfair.
) She also has 3 sisters who are all lovely.In terms of my family (I have 3 brothers/two sisters) my OH thinks that my parents play favourites. It's genuinely never bothered me and it's a fact of like (parents love some of their kids more than others). However it annoys her and there are definitely cliques between the different sisters-in-law. My dad's in his early 80's and has already divided up his assets between his kids. We were all fine with it but some of the sisters-in-law thought it was unfair.
My partners family has a business that doesn't make any profit and only continues because the directors just live of there pension taking nothing from the business but she insists on working for them during evenings and weekends on a zero hour contract on minimum wage despite having a degree and masters!
Can't stick them. He's a 'handy man' and is thick as pig s
t. He thinks as I'm not into DIY or gardening etc, I'm a useless, lazy sod.
His wife has never worked and they keep filling the Mrs' head with crap that she should give up work and I need to get a better job to pay all the bills.
I point out that it's not the 1950's any more and it doesn't work like that but it falls on deaf ears. I also point out to the mrs that if she didn't want to work, she shouldn't have met and married a guy who works in a call centre!
I told him to go fk himself recently when he was having a go at me for not washing the mrs' car. I won't be seeing or speaking to them again until he apologises. A pair of cretins.
t. He thinks as I'm not into DIY or gardening etc, I'm a useless, lazy sod. His wife has never worked and they keep filling the Mrs' head with crap that she should give up work and I need to get a better job to pay all the bills.
I point out that it's not the 1950's any more and it doesn't work like that but it falls on deaf ears. I also point out to the mrs that if she didn't want to work, she shouldn't have met and married a guy who works in a call centre!
I told him to go f
k himself recently when he was having a go at me for not washing the mrs' car. I won't be seeing or speaking to them again until he apologises. A pair of cretins.I get on very well with my F-i-L - he is in his early '90s and getting frailer almost by the day.
My own father was killed when I was seven and my mother died 22 years ago.
Close to one sister not so much the other one and her family doesn't bother. The other sister and my wife get on brilliantly and we do with one of her two daughters. The other is fine, we just hardly see her.
Families, can't live with them and can't live with them.
I wish I had more friends but then my wife, son and daughter (and her two children) more than make up for that.
My own father was killed when I was seven and my mother died 22 years ago.
Close to one sister not so much the other one and her family doesn't bother. The other sister and my wife get on brilliantly and we do with one of her two daughters. The other is fine, we just hardly see her.
Families, can't live with them and can't live with them.
I wish I had more friends but then my wife, son and daughter (and her two children) more than make up for that.
Get on very well with OH's family including but not limited to her parents, brother, aunts, uncles and cousins including twice removed ones that live in the states. Very lovely Irish family who welcomed me in as a novelty 15+ years ago and immediately treated me as one of their own. Never a cross word but plenty of fun and drama amongst the adolescents as they navigate the early trappings of adulthood! Great for a drink at family occasions too.
She gets on very well with my lot but we are restricted to my parents and my brothers. We don't maintain contact with relations on either side and it's perfect like that. My own mob are very easy going, very much a shared network of friends between us brothers. We have tended to just go for an easy life over the years and quickly filter out people that aren't our cup of tea or a tad too abrasive for our liking hence cutting off toxic relations.
She gets on very well with my lot but we are restricted to my parents and my brothers. We don't maintain contact with relations on either side and it's perfect like that. My own mob are very easy going, very much a shared network of friends between us brothers. We have tended to just go for an easy life over the years and quickly filter out people that aren't our cup of tea or a tad too abrasive for our liking hence cutting off toxic relations.
My wife's parents are no longer with us, but I was very fond of them, especially m.i.l., who was just a lovely lady. I used to say, when she was alive, I'd be quite happy for my mother in law to live with us. My wife's mother in law, not a fking chance!
My wife's sister, who I've known for as long as I've known my wife, 47 years, may as well be my sister. We get on great. Her husband is a nice guy too.
My mum is still around and my wife gets on fine with her, better than I do really. She also gets on well with my 2 brothers. We're a really dysfunctional family; everyone likes everyone else.
king chance! My wife's sister, who I've known for as long as I've known my wife, 47 years, may as well be my sister. We get on great. Her husband is a nice guy too.
My mum is still around and my wife gets on fine with her, better than I do really. She also gets on well with my 2 brothers. We're a really dysfunctional family; everyone likes everyone else.
Edited by TwigtheWonderkid on Tuesday 7th May 15:55
I'm very fortunate that my family is pretty great and very close (parents were married 60 years who lived and worked together and still would make each other laugh). I spend all my time hanging out with my brother when I can and we still go on holiday together etc.
Wife's family is a bit of a hot mess - FIL is (currently) super successful boom and bust type guy but with an element of Tony Suprano about him (stories of my wife hiding under the bed as the house is being shot up, and her dad beating people in resturants). Most of his buddies are in prison. I don't have any desire to get on the wrong side of him even now.
The MIL is 4(?) times married, only worked maybe a few years in her life. Now single after fleecing last husband. Has to decided to be a hippy in her 70's so is always on retreats to staying up late to "recharge" her crystals in the moonlight. Spends all her time shut in her bedroom when we go round to visit.
The BIL is not too bad but his anger issues have resulted in a few spells in the nick.
Wife's family is a bit of a hot mess - FIL is (currently) super successful boom and bust type guy but with an element of Tony Suprano about him (stories of my wife hiding under the bed as the house is being shot up, and her dad beating people in resturants). Most of his buddies are in prison. I don't have any desire to get on the wrong side of him even now.
The MIL is 4(?) times married, only worked maybe a few years in her life. Now single after fleecing last husband. Has to decided to be a hippy in her 70's so is always on retreats to staying up late to "recharge" her crystals in the moonlight. Spends all her time shut in her bedroom when we go round to visit.
The BIL is not too bad but his anger issues have resulted in a few spells in the nick.
Miss my FiL all the time we lost him around the time of the first Covid lockdown. MiL now lives with us which has its ups and downs but she is great fun bless her. Rest of wifes family is difficult to summarise, mostly wasters which is a shame as their parents were grafters through and through!
my ex gf family were all great. got on well with them all. First time meeting them i got drunk on gin with them and her mums bf went to show me his ww2 stuff.
showed me a model of a tank and when i said nice sherman his eyes lit up and even more so when I said oh but thats a sherman firefly (longer barrel)
but it didnt work out between us just the way things go.
showed me a model of a tank and when i said nice sherman his eyes lit up and even more so when I said oh but thats a sherman firefly (longer barrel)
but it didnt work out between us just the way things go.
Get on great with all individual members of spouse's family, sadly they're all constantly at each others' throats over one thing and another. I keep my nose out of it, am courteous to all and so keep up good relations on an individual basis as I like them all as individuals. Mind you they live nearly 2000 miles away so don't see them much. Spouse is constantly tearing hair out with them all, but gradually coming to the realisation that people don't tend to change, and she can't control what happens.
Have a mother and sister myself, father died when I was a child (watch our for Austin Princesses reversing out of driveways at warp speed when you're on a Kawasaki 600, it doesn't end well). All fine with them and sister's offspring, but every single one of my extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins etc are all absolute pains in the arse, so I don't bother. Had some lovely older aunts and uncles from my grandparent's generation, but all gone now.
I came to realise, quite a long time ago, that the friends you mutually choose to stay close with all our life are worth more than most relatives. I've got some friends who I've known since primary school, they're so much more reliable and less judgmental than any extended family have ever been to me.
Have a mother and sister myself, father died when I was a child (watch our for Austin Princesses reversing out of driveways at warp speed when you're on a Kawasaki 600, it doesn't end well). All fine with them and sister's offspring, but every single one of my extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins etc are all absolute pains in the arse, so I don't bother. Had some lovely older aunts and uncles from my grandparent's generation, but all gone now.
I came to realise, quite a long time ago, that the friends you mutually choose to stay close with all our life are worth more than most relatives. I've got some friends who I've known since primary school, they're so much more reliable and less judgmental than any extended family have ever been to me.
Have my wife's father living in the house due to illness, he's on the mend. We watch football on TV together and get along. Used to go to the pub and stadium together occasionally but he's not fit for it now.
I'd kick him out in a heartbeat but not until I think he's well enough to be kicked.
I get on well enough with my wife's family but not to the same level as my own and the feeling's mutual. That's why I'm not allowed to kick him out even if I wanted to.
It's a point of contention. As much as I like the man, do I want to spend my life looking after my wife's Dad? No fking way.
I'd kick him out in a heartbeat but not until I think he's well enough to be kicked.
I get on well enough with my wife's family but not to the same level as my own and the feeling's mutual. That's why I'm not allowed to kick him out even if I wanted to.
It's a point of contention. As much as I like the man, do I want to spend my life looking after my wife's Dad? No f
king way.Both her parents are dead now
Her father was a gentleman, a war hero (commanded tanks in africa and italy, was a lieutenant training gurkhas to be dropped into japan to cause disruption before a landing (a one way trip) who eventually became a police chief superintendent, introduced the met aerial survalenace unit and ran Hendon.
Her mother was a spiteful twisted little alcoholic who was always running the OH down, 90% of her daily calorific intake was gin
Her father was a gentleman, a war hero (commanded tanks in africa and italy, was a lieutenant training gurkhas to be dropped into japan to cause disruption before a landing (a one way trip) who eventually became a police chief superintendent, introduced the met aerial survalenace unit and ran Hendon.
Her mother was a spiteful twisted little alcoholic who was always running the OH down, 90% of her daily calorific intake was gin
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