Carol concert - Am I over reacting?
Discussion
Right, I need the balanced opinion of the PH collective.
It's the school carol concert next Wednesday. It was all arranged as usual that I meet the ex outside the school and we watch the concert.
Here's the problem, there are only two tickets per family, but the ex says "I have asked for another so my boyfriend can come. Do you mind"?
MIND, the top of my head nearly came off!
Absolutely I
mind.
First, she chose to leave when my youngest was eighteen months old. I have struggled along as a single parent having my kids half the time etc. I do my best for them, and have worked hard to remain amicable for their sake, but this feels a bit like she is taking the piss.
She lives with her boyfriend (He's not the one she had the affair with) and I am ok with it, but he pretty much blanks me. I have made the effort to be friendly, but he rarely speaks unless absolutely necessary.
In my mind it sits something like.... Why should there be an atmosphere when it's MY kids carol concert. He is her boyfriend, but it stops there as far as am concerned.
Am I being precious about this or am I right to protect my paternal position?
I didn't blow my top, but I was quite short in my answer.
I'm off to kill some foxes and gas some cute furry animals to calm myself down
It's the school carol concert next Wednesday. It was all arranged as usual that I meet the ex outside the school and we watch the concert.
Here's the problem, there are only two tickets per family, but the ex says "I have asked for another so my boyfriend can come. Do you mind"?
MIND, the top of my head nearly came off!
Absolutely I
mind. First, she chose to leave when my youngest was eighteen months old. I have struggled along as a single parent having my kids half the time etc. I do my best for them, and have worked hard to remain amicable for their sake, but this feels a bit like she is taking the piss.
She lives with her boyfriend (He's not the one she had the affair with) and I am ok with it, but he pretty much blanks me. I have made the effort to be friendly, but he rarely speaks unless absolutely necessary.
In my mind it sits something like.... Why should there be an atmosphere when it's MY kids carol concert. He is her boyfriend, but it stops there as far as am concerned.
Am I being precious about this or am I right to protect my paternal position?
I didn't blow my top, but I was quite short in my answer.
I'm off to kill some foxes and gas some cute furry animals to calm myself down
I assume that your children spend some time with this guy, do they want him to be a part of the carol concert? If so then don't let there be an atmosphere.
I have a half sister from my Dads first marriage, and when it came to my sisters wedding there were some awful rows about who had the right to sit on the top table, my sister really went through it, as she wanted both her Mum and her Dad and the respective partners to be there, in the end they all had to respect my sisters wishes and be nice for one day.
I have a half sister from my Dads first marriage, and when it came to my sisters wedding there were some awful rows about who had the right to sit on the top table, my sister really went through it, as she wanted both her Mum and her Dad and the respective partners to be there, in the end they all had to respect my sisters wishes and be nice for one day.
bigandclever said:
Balance you say? OK then....
I found out this week that my ex has changed my kids surnames by deedpoll and is moving to the States. Does that put your hour sitting uncomfortably, near to someone you don't particularly like, at a concert into perspective?!
That is illegal, she can be arrested for child abduction, she cannot take the children out of the UK for any length of time with out your written consent or leave of the district judge.
Rob, the school my little girl attends ONLY allows relatives to come and see performances by the children.
It cuts out a lot of this split parent/new partner heartache.....especially if one parent in using the child as emotional leverage to 'settle old scores' (sad but true...it happens a lot folks)
Yes , i would be pi$$ed of too mate....but if your nipper is 'fond' of the new man in your ex's life the best thing to do is to rise above it all and show dignity and composure if the new BF is allowed to come.
and when the nipper/loving couple is not looking spit in the coffee that you so generously in a 'no hard feelings kind of way' decided to buy the happy couple at the show
thus endeth todays sermon, Amen
>> Edited by father ted on Wednesday 1st December 19:42
>> Edited by father ted on Wednesday 1st December 19:53
It cuts out a lot of this split parent/new partner heartache.....especially if one parent in using the child as emotional leverage to 'settle old scores' (sad but true...it happens a lot folks)
Yes , i would be pi$$ed of too mate....but if your nipper is 'fond' of the new man in your ex's life the best thing to do is to rise above it all and show dignity and composure if the new BF is allowed to come.
and when the nipper/loving couple is not looking spit in the coffee that you so generously in a 'no hard feelings kind of way' decided to buy the happy couple at the show
thus endeth todays sermon, Amen
>> Edited by father ted on Wednesday 1st December 19:42
>> Edited by father ted on Wednesday 1st December 19:53
father ted said:
Yes , i would be pi$$ed of too mate....but if your nipper is 'fond' of the new man in your ex's life the best thing to do is to rise above it all and show dignity and composure if the new BF is allowed to come.
But he has a problem because there are only 2 tickets per family which mean that he wouldn't be able to go...
....I think, unless I read it wrong?
wedge girl said:
That is illegal, she can be arrested for child abduction, she cannot take the children out of the UK for any length of time with out your written consent or leave of the district judge.
Unfortunately, not being a married father (or a a father who was married to the mother at the childs birth), means I have bugger all say. I can, and will, apply to the courts under Section 11 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1964 for a prohibition order, but.....
Sorry, thread hijack.
I re-read my post and it was written in a kneejerk-reaction kind of way. Sorry, I can't be more constructive.
mrs fish said:
Yes , i would be pi$$ed of too mate....but if your nipper is 'fond' of the new man in your ex's life the best thing to do is to rise above it all and show dignity and composure if the new BF is allowed to come.
But he has a problem because there are only 2 tickets per family which mean that he wouldn't be able to go...
....I think, unless I read it wrong?
i think the inference was that the ex was after 'another' ticket........i dont think Rob would even consider giving HIS ticket to 'NEW MAN' ....would you ?.....i'd tell her to FEck off if that was/is the case
BliarOut said:
The ex says "I have asked for another so my boyfriend can come. Do you mind"?
It's very nice of her to ask first instead of just doing it. So you can simply say.......
"'Course I f
g mind, are you stupid woman?" ..and I'm sure she'll be happy with that and the whole problem will just melt away.
Our school doesn't allow non-relatives, for space reasons as much as anything else.
father ted said:
i think the inference was that the ex was after 'another' ticket........i dont think Rob would even consider giving HIS ticket to 'NEW MAN' ....would you ?.....i'd tell her to FEck off if that was/is the case
Ahhh, I did read it wrong then, seem to be doing a lot of that today
In that case, swallow your pride Rob, it will only be for an hour or so after all.
>> Edited by mrs fish on Wednesday 1st December 19:56
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