Greatest quotes of all time

"And God said unto John come forth and you shall recieve eternal life. However John came fifth and won a toaster" - Unknown

"I feel a little lightheaded, maybe you should drive" - Hunter S Thompson

"A bird in the hand invariably sts on your wrist" - Billy Connolly

The captain of the titanic, "oh well, it wont sink"

John Sedgwick, a Union commander during the American Civil War, uttered these last words about the enemy forces during a battle

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--"

"You can fk your weekend up your asshole you wker"

Ex-gf, circa 2005

Tell her "SATAN"

The Butthole Surfers.

"Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that. Revealed faith is not harmless nonsense, it can be lethally dangerous nonsense. Dangerous because it gives people unshakeable confidence in their own righteousness. Dangerous because it gives them false courage to kill themselves, which automatically removes normal barriers to killing others. Dangerous because it teaches enmity to others labelled only by a difference of inherited tradition. And dangerous because we have all bought into a weird respect, which uniquely protects religion from normal criticism. Let's now stop being so damned respectful!" - Richard Dawkins

Nobody gets out of this alive - Marc Bolan about life

Spurs should get Madonna to play in goal , I'm reliably told she doesn,t let anything in these days talksport today

"When you are racing ... it's life. Anything thing that happens before or after... is just waiting" - Steve McQueen

Jack Black in School of Rock

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question, than a fool can learn from a wise mans answer.