How to tell a boss his staff are rubbish?

This happened recently. I'm chatting with a guy exploring the possibilty of my doing some work for him in the future, and the question arises of how I would get on with the existing staff.

I, of course, tell him that there would be no problem, that I would be aware of the sensitivity of the situation, and as a result would ensure that all would be well in that regard.

Now, being familiar with the work of his organisation, it is obvious to me (and others) that his staff are a bunch of piss-taking wkers, that the work they do (when they are there) is poor quality and mis-directed. However, as the conversation continues it dawns on me that he doesn't realise any of this. As far as he is concerned, it's a great team and he wants to keep it that way. FFS!. How can I disabuse him of this misbegotten notion?

Basically, I'm already aware that there is nothing I can do about it (if I want the work, that is) but I just wanted to share with you the shock and horror I felt, and to provide you with an opportunity to mention similar experiences.

Suppose it's better that calling them pike..eys

I'd bit a little Koi about doing that

Lay some bait and catch them out when he's around, make them fall for something hook line and sinker that makes them look bad.

Join the team and resolve all outstanding tasks in one week. The manager will soon get the message unless he's too busy playing golf or looking through the German company car catalogue to notice.

Would you rather they are haddock?

Wow, I didnt realise my boss was getting new staff.....

Sounds like he needs to employ salmon else.

Throw a handfull of bait (preferably in pellet form) into the middle of the office and watch them go wild.

Why do you want to work there if they're so carp? I think you'd feel out of plaice.