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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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Afternoon folks,
Some of you may remember i started a thread a while ago, about 2 months ago that apparently i suffer from anxiety etc, we'll im back posting again, as its kind of changed, evolved what ever you want to call it.
2 Months ago i had a Panic attack where i was constantly worrying about a pain in my chest, i went to the doctors before hand and he gave me some anti acid pills which worked in the short term but then came back, and that was when i had an panic attack. I had a very busy weekend, landed back form holiday on the Friday, Friends Birthay Party on the Saturday, found out sister was engaged (should be happy), and had my panic attack on Sunday night lying on the sofa constantly thinking about my body. Thats basically where it all started going down hill from there really, i have had a really crap 2 months since then, constantly on edge, heart palpitations, shallow breathing, sweaty palms, (all the symptoms of anxiety). The problem is i just dont feel the same, i'm always constantly feeling down, i do have some good moments now and then, but generally if i'm not worrying about being anxious im panicing. help me someone please!
I have had a good period where i wasn't as anxious which lasted for 1-2 weeks, (about 2 weeks ago infact), and suddenly this Sunday just gone, i had a crap night sleep which i started to worry about being anxious and hey presto it brought anxiety on!
I'm currently seeing a clinical mental health nurse (have been for a month or so), who i see once every 2 weeks, im seeing another one tomorrow as i phoned up today because im struggling, i seem to scan my whole body and as soon as i feel something isnt right i start to worry about it, the GF who i live with is going away on Thursday and i'm worrying about that i think, i've taken a 2mg diazepam about 30 mins ago to try and help, but i only take them as required, i took one on Sunday night to help me off to sleep.
My current job is really boring, its a desk job which is a bit of a change from protecting our country on a grey ship somehwere, i join my next unit in Jaunary which i think i'm also worrying about.
The thing is... i'm trying to understand why i'm anxious/panic all the time, some people worry about work, relationships, money etc, which is normal and they get through it and overcome it, but the thing is i dont know (cant put my finger on it!) why i'm anxious/panic...
so how can i possibly overcome it, deal with it when i dont know whats causing it!!.
It all seems a bit of a mess in typing this, i have made a diary on what i'm thinking, feeling at the time of being anxious , i find myself chatting to my mom about it and in some respects it helps, feels like an offload, but in others because im talking about it, it flares it up etc. I dont talk about it too much with the other half as shes a social worker in child protection and has enough worries herself, i'm supposed to be strong for her etc, I think i'm just worried i'm heading for depression and do not want to be ending up on Anti Depressants as i feel i being on them means i've failed.
If anyone has any advice, experience, similar situations, things that can help me though this period of panic all the time it would be appreciated.
Cheers in Advance
Gaz
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HorneyMX5
876 posts
19 months
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Gazzas86 said: Afternoon folks,
and do not want to be ending up on Anti Depressants as i feel i being on them means i've failed. I'll post up a longer reply when I have time (I've suffered with this for nearly 12 months so far) but I thought I would quickly pick up on the above. Treat them as you would a crutch for a broken leg, something to help you get moving but that you won't need for ever. It's not failure, it's accepting that you need a little help. Nick
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Soovy
32,020 posts
140 months
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I think your problem is that you have realised you are mortal, and you fear death. We all do. It's normal. You're worrying about worrying about something which is normal to worry about.
I went through a phase a bit like this a long time ago. Once I learned to accept that I am mortal and one day I will die, most likely of the same thing which got my Dad, and made peace with that fact, it got better.
Is there a history of illness in your family which is making you worry the same thing will happen to you? Has for example your father had a heart attack and you fear the same fate imending for you?
I think what you are experiencing is a vicious circle of a normal fear of mortality turning into panic as you go round and round and round and worry about the worrying, and get more scared, and worry about the effects of the worry on your health, which makes the symptoms worse and.... well you get the picture.
We're ALL going to die of something. Accept your inevitable destiny and it will get better.
And go and see a doctor. Now. It will help to talk and owrk out why you are fearful. Not knowing is the root of fear. You are not at all alone in these feelings. They are very common.
I wish you peace.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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Soovy said: I think your problem is that you have realised you are mortal, and you fear death. We all do. It's normal. You're worrying about worrying about something which is normal to worry about.
I went through a phase a bit like this a long time ago. Once I learned to accept that I am mortal and one day I will die, most likely of the same thing which got my Dad, and made peace with that fact, it got better.
Is there a history of illness in your family which is making you worry the same thing will happen to you? Has for example your father had a heart attack and you fear the same fate imending for you?
I think what you are experiencing is a vicious circle of a normal fear of mortality turning into panic as you go round and round and round and worry about the worrying, and get more scared, and worry about the effects of the worry on your health, which makes the symptoms worse and.... well you get the picture.
We're ALL going to die of something. Accept your inevitable destiny and it will get better.
And go and see a doctor. Now. It will help to talk and owrk out why you are fearful. Not knowing is the root of fear. You are not at all alone in these feelings. They are very common.
I wish you peace. Many thanks soovy, much appreicated, I'm 25 years old, i should have mentioned so still early on in life, My Nan died of cancel a couple of years ago, and at the time and ever since i didn't feel emotion, i have never cried for years, She was diagnosed in the January and gone a month later, My dad took it bad wen't on AD's, and now on has to get tests every year to make sure he's not got anything, this had a knock on effect to my mom who also had to go on AD's to cope. My moms also had a bad past couple of years, she contracted Colitus in which she had to have an Operation to have her lower intestine removed, (now permanently with a bag etc). Thats the family history), The thing is, up to my Panic attack, i never had a worry in the world, i didn't get upset, i could just dismiss everything, never got worried about being ill etc, and suddenly i feel as if i'm falling apart, cant cope etc. What you say above Soovy makes sense, and i may even write it down and suggest this to my MH nurse as a possible reason, i think its the learning to cope with what ever it is i'm struggling with. Thats a worry for me with regards to AD's, i worry that if i start taking them, i will never be able to come off them  Thanks so far all,
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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Also i forgot to mention, when i feel negative and down, i get so many scenario's, negative thoughts going through my head, some are about the future etc, worrying where i can see myself in x amount of years etc, worrying that ill never be the same, worrying that it will never sort itself out, Kind of feeling that i'm wanting something to go wrong, or expecting something to go wrong. i appreciate to someone who has never felt like this before it may seem i'm losing my marbles etc, sometimes i feel that myself, but its not in me to keep things bottled up. hence this thread, and going to the Mental health team.
Because the MH nurse works in the same base as the doctors (all interlinked) my MH nurse sends info to the doctor, but i think when i go to my visits i play it down way to much, and hence it seems as if its not progressing anywhere for me to over come it. she gives me 'homework' i.e. make a diary etc, read a docket etc, but not giving any help in whats really going on... hence me clutching at straws.
Cheers folks
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CrabDan
568 posts
12 months
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Had the same thing, a little bit younger than you, but still...
It's gone now. I put it down to being fed up with my environment - Work and home. It always seemed to disappear when I went on holiday too and as soon as I started taking positive steps to improve my life (ie. get a new job etc) it went away. Also, the more exercise I did, the better it seemed to get too.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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CrabDan said: Had the same thing, a little bit younger than you, but still...
It's gone now. I put it down to being fed up with my environment - Work and home. It always seemed to disappear when I went on holiday too and as soon as I started taking positive steps to improve my life (ie. get a new job etc) it went away. Cheers Dan, I am fed up with my job now, when im on ship i'm busy, doing something different every day, but at my current post, im sat infront of 2 screens every day!. The only 1 positive thing about my job is i get to go home every night and be with my GF, something which is a luxury when your on ship. We moved into our first ever property in Novemember at first i thought it was that, as i've never been homesick etc, and then suddenly buying a house it had all built up etc. I took a weeks holiday which helped, but for some reason on the Sunday night i suddenly start getting anxious, have a crap nights sleep and then it has a knock on effect, feeling like crap (as mentioned above) all this week, hence the thread . I have thought about it, i.e. when i join my ship in the new year i hope it goes away etc, but there is a doubt and suddenly i'm in the middle of the ocean and noone to help , thats why i'm trying to get it sussed now. Cheers all for the replies
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Soovy
32,020 posts
140 months
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Gazzas86 said: Soovy said: I think your problem is that you have realised you are mortal, and you fear death. We all do. It's normal. You're worrying about worrying about something which is normal to worry about.
I went through a phase a bit like this a long time ago. Once I learned to accept that I am mortal and one day I will die, most likely of the same thing which got my Dad, and made peace with that fact, it got better.
Is there a history of illness in your family which is making you worry the same thing will happen to you? Has for example your father had a heart attack and you fear the same fate imending for you?
I think what you are experiencing is a vicious circle of a normal fear of mortality turning into panic as you go round and round and round and worry about the worrying, and get more scared, and worry about the effects of the worry on your health, which makes the symptoms worse and.... well you get the picture.
We're ALL going to die of something. Accept your inevitable destiny and it will get better.
And go and see a doctor. Now. It will help to talk and owrk out why you are fearful. Not knowing is the root of fear. You are not at all alone in these feelings. They are very common.
I wish you peace. Many thanks soovy, much appreicated, I'm 25 years old, i should have mentioned so still early on in life, My Nan died of cancel a couple of years ago, and at the time and ever since i didn't feel emotion, i have never cried for years, She was diagnosed in the January and gone a month later, My dad took it bad wen't on AD's, and now on has to get tests every year to make sure he's not got anything, this had a knock on effect to my mom who also had to go on AD's to cope. My moms also had a bad past couple of years, she contracted Colitus in which she had to have an Operation to have her lower intestine removed, (now permanently with a bag etc). Thats the family history), The thing is, up to my Panic attack, i never had a worry in the world, i didn't get upset, i could just dismiss everything, never got worried about being ill etc, and suddenly i feel as if i'm falling apart, cant cope etc. What you say above Soovy makes sense, and i may even write it down and suggest this to my MH nurse as a possible reason, i think its the learning to cope with what ever it is i'm struggling with. Thats a worry for me with regards to AD's, i worry that if i start taking them, i will never be able to come off them Thanks so far all, You're welcome. I am sometimes a bit of a dick on here, but this is real important. Real imtportant. Sounds to me like you didn't deal with the issue of your mortality at all until now. It's a delayed response. A form of post traumatic trauma which is manifesting itself as these panic attacks. You are suffering with panic about the realities of life, which are all of a sudden being "computed" by your consciousness and brought in to sharp relief for some reason. You're mortal, you're going to one day get sick and die. This is not good news to you, but sooner or later we all go through this unpleasant realisation. Some as children, some as adults. For me it was a few years after my Dad's problem. Nothing for years, then BAM. A phobia about that problem, constantly worrying about whether it'd get me, and then worrying yet further that my worrying would cause the problem, which made me more worried, which caused more stress, which .... well again you get the picture.. It took me a long time to accept my own inevitable destiny. I still think about it now, because I want to be around for my as yet unborn child for decades to come. But I deal with it because I understand the feelings I have, and know why they are there, and they are manageable because I know why I have them, and that I am not losing the plot. I don't want to die but I accept it will happen. We're all dying mate, just at different rates!! I think you need help to understand why you feel what you feel. I had to teach myself, and it took a long time I can assure you, and robbed me of time I'll never get back. Again, I wish you peace of mind above all, friend.
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CrabDan
568 posts
12 months
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Gazzas86 said: Cheers Dan, I am fed up with my job now, when im on ship i'm busy, doing something different every day, but at my current post, im sat infront of 2 screens every day!. The only 1 positive thing about my job is i get to go home every night and be with my GF, something which is a luxury when your on ship. We moved into our first ever property in Novemember at first i thought it was that, as i've never been homesick etc, and then suddenly buying a house it had all built up etc. I took a weeks holiday which helped, but for some reason on the Sunday night i suddenly start getting anxious, have a crap nights sleep and then it has a knock on effect, feeling like crap (as mentioned above) all this week, hence the thread . I have thought about it, i.e. when i join my ship in the new year i hope it goes away etc, but there is a doubt and suddenly i'm in the middle of the ocean and noone to help , thats why i'm trying to get it sussed now. Cheers all for the replies I know what you mean about the knock-on effect - It can get unbearable, feeling knackered all the time which in turn makes you more anxious. I had the same thing, oddly enough, just before I joined the RAF. I was worried that the basic training would take its toll and that the lack of sleep would build up to a re-emergence of my anxiety problem but in actual fact it was the shift from being completely bored with my existence, to an environment where I was constantly busy, that sorted me out. Ironically, I'm back behind a couple of computer screens every day now but I guess it's just lucky for me that I personally don't happen to mind.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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Soovy said: Gazzas86 said: Soovy said: I think your problem is that you have realised you are mortal, and you fear death. We all do. It's normal. You're worrying about worrying about something which is normal to worry about.
I went through a phase a bit like this a long time ago. Once I learned to accept that I am mortal and one day I will die, most likely of the same thing which got my Dad, and made peace with that fact, it got better.
Is there a history of illness in your family which is making you worry the same thing will happen to you? Has for example your father had a heart attack and you fear the same fate imending for you?
I think what you are experiencing is a vicious circle of a normal fear of mortality turning into panic as you go round and round and round and worry about the worrying, and get more scared, and worry about the effects of the worry on your health, which makes the symptoms worse and.... well you get the picture.
We're ALL going to die of something. Accept your inevitable destiny and it will get better.
And go and see a doctor. Now. It will help to talk and owrk out why you are fearful. Not knowing is the root of fear. You are not at all alone in these feelings. They are very common.
I wish you peace. Many thanks soovy, much appreicated, I'm 25 years old, i should have mentioned so still early on in life, My Nan died of cancel a couple of years ago, and at the time and ever since i didn't feel emotion, i have never cried for years, She was diagnosed in the January and gone a month later, My dad took it bad wen't on AD's, and now on has to get tests every year to make sure he's not got anything, this had a knock on effect to my mom who also had to go on AD's to cope. My moms also had a bad past couple of years, she contracted Colitus in which she had to have an Operation to have her lower intestine removed, (now permanently with a bag etc). Thats the family history), The thing is, up to my Panic attack, i never had a worry in the world, i didn't get upset, i could just dismiss everything, never got worried about being ill etc, and suddenly i feel as if i'm falling apart, cant cope etc. What you say above Soovy makes sense, and i may even write it down and suggest this to my MH nurse as a possible reason, i think its the learning to cope with what ever it is i'm struggling with. Thats a worry for me with regards to AD's, i worry that if i start taking them, i will never be able to come off them Thanks so far all, You're welcome. I am sometimes a bit of a dick on here, but this is real important. Real imtportant. Sounds to me like you didn't deal with the issue of your mortality at all until now. It's a delayed response. A form of post traumatic trauma which is manifesting itself as these panic attacks. You are suffering with panic about the realities of life, which are all of a sudden being "computed" by your consciousness and brought in to sharp relief for some reason. You're mortal, you're going to one day get sick and die. This is not good news to you, but sooner or later we all go through this unpleasant realisation. Some as children, some as adults. For me it was a few years after my Dad's problem. Nothing for years, then BAM. A phobia about that problem, constantly worrying about whether it'd get me, and then worrying yet further that my worrying would cause the problem, which made me more worried, which caused more stress, which .... well again you get the picture.. It took me a long time to accept my own inevitable destiny. I still think about it now, because I want to be around for my as yet unborn child for decades to come. But I deal with it because I understand the feelings I have, and know why they are there, and they are manageable because I know why I have them, and that I am not losing the plot. I don't want to die but I accept it will happen. We're all dying mate, just at different rates!! I think you need help to understand why you feel what you feel. I had to teach myself, and it took a long time I can assure you, and robbed me of time I'll never get back. Again, I wish you peace of mind above all, friend. Thanks once again It all makes sense it ehat you're saying, and i will suggest this to my MH nurse and hopefully we can work around it to see if it is the reason, one of my negative thoughts is time wasted and all, i.e. as mentioned above, when i had that 1-2 weeks of normality i did feel like a plonker how i acted, and i thought i was 'cured' one for a better word, however in the last 2 weeks this has not been the case, i DO believe it is something i have to come to terms with, and theres no medicine that can fix it, i think i'm worrying/panicing also because i don't know the right path to take to get me to understand/deal with it.
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Soovy
32,020 posts
140 months
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Gazzas86 said: Soovy said: Gazzas86 said: Soovy said: I think your problem is that you have realised you are mortal, and you fear death. We all do. It's normal. You're worrying about worrying about something which is normal to worry about.
I went through a phase a bit like this a long time ago. Once I learned to accept that I am mortal and one day I will die, most likely of the same thing which got my Dad, and made peace with that fact, it got better.
Is there a history of illness in your family which is making you worry the same thing will happen to you? Has for example your father had a heart attack and you fear the same fate imending for you?
I think what you are experiencing is a vicious circle of a normal fear of mortality turning into panic as you go round and round and round and worry about the worrying, and get more scared, and worry about the effects of the worry on your health, which makes the symptoms worse and.... well you get the picture.
We're ALL going to die of something. Accept your inevitable destiny and it will get better.
And go and see a doctor. Now. It will help to talk and owrk out why you are fearful. Not knowing is the root of fear. You are not at all alone in these feelings. They are very common.
I wish you peace. Many thanks soovy, much appreicated, I'm 25 years old, i should have mentioned so still early on in life, My Nan died of cancel a couple of years ago, and at the time and ever since i didn't feel emotion, i have never cried for years, She was diagnosed in the January and gone a month later, My dad took it bad wen't on AD's, and now on has to get tests every year to make sure he's not got anything, this had a knock on effect to my mom who also had to go on AD's to cope. My moms also had a bad past couple of years, she contracted Colitus in which she had to have an Operation to have her lower intestine removed, (now permanently with a bag etc). Thats the family history), The thing is, up to my Panic attack, i never had a worry in the world, i didn't get upset, i could just dismiss everything, never got worried about being ill etc, and suddenly i feel as if i'm falling apart, cant cope etc. What you say above Soovy makes sense, and i may even write it down and suggest this to my MH nurse as a possible reason, i think its the learning to cope with what ever it is i'm struggling with. Thats a worry for me with regards to AD's, i worry that if i start taking them, i will never be able to come off them Thanks so far all, You're welcome. I am sometimes a bit of a dick on here, but this is real important. Real imtportant. Sounds to me like you didn't deal with the issue of your mortality at all until now. It's a delayed response. A form of post traumatic trauma which is manifesting itself as these panic attacks. You are suffering with panic about the realities of life, which are all of a sudden being "computed" by your consciousness and brought in to sharp relief for some reason. You're mortal, you're going to one day get sick and die. This is not good news to you, but sooner or later we all go through this unpleasant realisation. Some as children, some as adults. For me it was a few years after my Dad's problem. Nothing for years, then BAM. A phobia about that problem, constantly worrying about whether it'd get me, and then worrying yet further that my worrying would cause the problem, which made me more worried, which caused more stress, which .... well again you get the picture.. It took me a long time to accept my own inevitable destiny. I still think about it now, because I want to be around for my as yet unborn child for decades to come. But I deal with it because I understand the feelings I have, and know why they are there, and they are manageable because I know why I have them, and that I am not losing the plot. I don't want to die but I accept it will happen. We're all dying mate, just at different rates!! I think you need help to understand why you feel what you feel. I had to teach myself, and it took a long time I can assure you, and robbed me of time I'll never get back. Again, I wish you peace of mind above all, friend. Thanks once again It all makes sense it ehat you're saying, and i will suggest this to my MH nurse and hopefully we can work around it to see if it is the reason, one of my negative thoughts is time wasted and all, i.e. as mentioned above, when i had that 1-2 weeks of normality i did feel like a plonker how i acted, and i thought i was 'cured' one for a better word, however in the last 2 weeks this has not been the case, i DO believe it is something i have to come to terms with, and theres no medicine that can fix it, i think i'm worrying/panicing also because i don't know the right path to take to get me to understand/deal with it. Vicious circle. You worry, and you then worry about that, which causes more symptoms which you aorry about, causing more........... etc etc This is not uncommon. You are not alone. But you do need help to deal with this.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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CrabDan said: Gazzas86 said: Cheers Dan, I am fed up with my job now, when im on ship i'm busy, doing something different every day, but at my current post, im sat infront of 2 screens every day!. The only 1 positive thing about my job is i get to go home every night and be with my GF, something which is a luxury when your on ship. We moved into our first ever property in Novemember at first i thought it was that, as i've never been homesick etc, and then suddenly buying a house it had all built up etc. I took a weeks holiday which helped, but for some reason on the Sunday night i suddenly start getting anxious, have a crap nights sleep and then it has a knock on effect, feeling like crap (as mentioned above) all this week, hence the thread . I have thought about it, i.e. when i join my ship in the new year i hope it goes away etc, but there is a doubt and suddenly i'm in the middle of the ocean and noone to help , thats why i'm trying to get it sussed now. Cheers all for the replies I know what you mean about the knock-on effect - It can get unbearable, feeling knackered all the time which in turn makes you more anxious. I had the same thing, oddly enough, just before I joined the RAF. I was worried that the basic training would take its toll and that the lack of sleep would build up to a re-emergence of my anxiety problem but in actual fact it was the shift from being completely bored with my existence, to an environment where I was constantly busy, that sorted me out. Ironically, I'm back behind a couple of computer screens every day now but I guess it's just lucky for me that I personally don't happen to mind. Thanks for that, I must admit, i have a crap nights sleep drowned by anxiety on a Sun night (Happened twice now), which in turn makes me knackered for the rest of the week, Its just for the time i'm awake during the day... sat at my desk, not thinking about work, i'm thinking negative stuff and brings on anxiety which lasts for the rest of the day, this lasts all week, and it makes you feel your losing your mind and cant get away from it, In my current job sat behind a desk, its me and one other (who is my boss), no other Navy guys to talk to, just me and him, whats 'also worrying' (i've used that word alot in this thread haha) is as previously mentioned i just cant put my finger on it and definately say thats why i feel anxious. Thats the worrrying part.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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That makes sense Soovy, because im worrying about worrying, its in essense a circle and therefore i can't put my finger on it as its forever going round and round a different worry each time... Makes sense Thanyou so far.
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CrabDan
568 posts
12 months
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You won't know what's causing it until it goes away, mate. Just keep trying to be as proactive, productive and as positive as possible (I should be a self-help author, coming out with sh*t like that!) and I reckon you'll find it starts to disappear.
As an aside, are you smashing loads of coffee, seeing as you're sat behind a desk? Because that can make things worse, or so I've found.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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CrabDan said: You won't know what's causing it until it goes away, mate. Just keep trying to be as proactive, productive and as positive as possible (I should be a self-help author, coming out with sh*t like that!) and I reckon you'll find it starts to disappear.
As an aside, are you smashing loads of coffee, seeing as you're sat behind a desk? Because that can make things worse, or so I've found. I dont drink coffee pal, i have lots of Tea though, about 1 cup every 45-50 mins :S, not sure if thats alot :S, I have read a 'overcoming Anxiety with Dummies book', which helped me understand the physical symptoms etc, but it wasnt exactly how i was feeling, Is there anyway of breaking the circle at all?,
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oldbanger
2,339 posts
107 months
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Gazzas86 said: Also i forgot to mention, when i feel negative and down, i get so many scenario's, negative thoughts going through my head, some are about the future etc, worrying where i can see myself in x amount of years etc, worrying that ill never be the same, worrying that it will never sort itself out, Kind of feeling that i'm wanting something to go wrong, or expecting something to go wrong. i appreciate to someone who has never felt like this before it may seem i'm losing my marbles etc, sometimes i feel that myself, but its not in me to keep things bottled up. hence this thread, and going to the Mental health team.
Because the MH nurse works in the same base as the doctors (all interlinked) my MH nurse sends info to the doctor, but i think when i go to my visits i play it down way to much, and hence it seems as if its not progressing anywhere for me to over come it. she gives me 'homework' i.e. make a diary etc, read a docket etc, but not giving any help in whats really going on... hence me clutching at straws.
Cheers folks From this, I'd suggest you request a referral for CBT. I found this incredibly helpful with negative thought spirals. e.g. see http://www.babcp.com/Public/What-is-CBT.aspxYou can also go private - qualified therapists can be found through the BABCP.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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oldbanger said: Gazzas86 said: Also i forgot to mention, when i feel negative and down, i get so many scenario's, negative thoughts going through my head, some are about the future etc, worrying where i can see myself in x amount of years etc, worrying that ill never be the same, worrying that it will never sort itself out, Kind of feeling that i'm wanting something to go wrong, or expecting something to go wrong. i appreciate to someone who has never felt like this before it may seem i'm losing my marbles etc, sometimes i feel that myself, but its not in me to keep things bottled up. hence this thread, and going to the Mental health team.
Because the MH nurse works in the same base as the doctors (all interlinked) my MH nurse sends info to the doctor, but i think when i go to my visits i play it down way to much, and hence it seems as if its not progressing anywhere for me to over come it. she gives me 'homework' i.e. make a diary etc, read a docket etc, but not giving any help in whats really going on... hence me clutching at straws.
Cheers folks From this, I'd suggest you request a referral for CBT. I found this incredibly helpful with negative thought spirals. e.g. see http://www.babcp.com/Public/What-is-CBT.aspxYou can also go private - qualified therapists can be found through the BABCP. Thankyou OB, I did mention CBT to my MHN, but she said she wanted to try other methods first, such as homework, breaking everything down etc, When i see her next week i will ask her to put me on the list, theres a couple of weeks waiting list. they can do CBT in the same building, Will check the link as i dont really know how they do it). I went along to a private free consultation at the start of all of this, and she wanted £60 per session for probably a total of 8-10 sessions, i still have faith in the Mental health team provided free for me, i've heard nothing but good things from them i've only been going a month, probably 4 visits in total, Just hope 'anyone' can help me get better and stop feeling down and in this horrible circle of panic/worry. Thanks
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Superficial
747 posts
43 months
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I don’t like to bandy the word depression around too much because it’s overused IMHO but the first half of your post does sound like you’re suffering from a bout of depression. Technically, the NHS classify depression officially if you’ve been feeling as you describe for two weeks.
You’re in a vicious circle at the moment with the anxiety and panic attacks, it’s exhausting and time consuming. From what you’ve said it strikes me as odd that you’re only being seen every 2 weeks, I’d say weekly if not more frequently would be far more appropriate. What do you discuss in your sessions if you don’t mind me asking? Do you have Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or is it more of an analysis of your past? The vast majority of anxiety cases can be majorly improved, if not eradicated completely by CBT. If you aren’t already having CBT then I would request it now – bear in mind there will most likely be a waiting list so the sooner you apply for it, the better.
Some people are just more anxious than others generally, I make myself ill on a daily basis by obsessing over pretty much anything from worries about my health, to what to buy at the shops. Diazepam is okay for short bursts of anxiety, but it won’t keep you stabilised and lower your anxiety on a general, daily basis.
I know you don’t want to worry your girlfriend, but having someone you can confide in and support you is essential with mental health issues. It’s totally understandable that you don’t want to burden her with you worries, but those who care about us don’t see it as a burden at all – my family are more upset when I try to hold it together by myself. Plus, some of your anxieties may well be irrational, having a voice of reason to remind you of this when you’re away from your therapist is very helpful.
I have mixed feelings about medication, I was prescribed it when I was under CAMHS and the side effects really weren’t what I needed at that time in my life; going up 2-3 dress sizes and producing breast milk when you’re 15 really is quite traumatic! But, in hindsight, the medication just wasn’t the right one for me because I’ve recently found ones that can and do work for me without too many side effects. I hate the idea of medication altering how I’m meant to be but I have a great straight talking medication man who tells it how it is; he keeps reminding me that if someone had a physical illness they would be prescribed medication, mental illness is just the same so why is there such a taboo about medication being an aid to recovery?
Personally, I have OCD alongside a general anxiety disorder and in the past couple of months the medication has allowed me to do things that I’d never be able to do without it. It’s a personal choice, and CBT can be undertaken without medication too but I’d just say stay open minded about treatment plans, the main aim is to get yourself well again, once you achieve that it won’t matter whether you needed some support to do so.
ETA: Sorry if I've repeated what anyone else has said, started this post an hour ago then got distracted!
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Caesar9
115 posts
30 months
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I have suffered from anxiety for a fair few years and have seen a few different therapists in that time.
You do have a thought circle in which you will worry about something small which you will repeatedly play over in your head until you begin to worry about unrealistic scenarios which worry you more. You need to stop this thought process before it starts and distract yourself with something different. If I say don't think about pink elephants the first thing you do is think about a pink elephant. You need to distract your mind before the circle begins which is easier said than done if you're not sure what starts it off.
If it is a certain place or situation that starts you worrying make sure you don't avoid that place, it will relax you in the short term but in the long run it will be much harder to overcome.
My situation was traffic and involved certain routes to and from work so I avoided them by going a longer but quieter way. I now go the busier way home and takes me half the time although I still get a little on edge sometimes and still haven't conquered busy motorways I'm miles better than I was.
Your not alone mate and there's no shame in admitting your struggling although I've had no experience of tablets etc as I wanted to do it without although I never ruled them out totally. I have also found that being bored lets your mind wander and keeping myself busy does help.
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Gazzas86
Original Poster
725 posts
40 months
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Caesar9 said: I have suffered from anxiety for a fair few years and have seen a few different therapists in that time.
You do have a thought circle in which you will worry about something small which you will repeatedly play over in your head until you begin to worry about unrealistic scenarios which worry you more. You need to stop this thought process before it starts and distract yourself with something different. If I say don't think about pink elephants the first thing you do is think about a pink elephant. You need to distract your mind before the circle begins which is easier said than done if you're not sure what starts it off.
If it is a certain place or situation that starts you worrying make sure you don't avoid that place, it will relax you in the short term but in the long run it will be much harder to overcome.
My situation was traffic and involved certain routes to and from work so I avoided them by going a longer but quieter way. I now go the busier way home and takes me half the time although I still get a little on edge sometimes and still haven't conquered busy motorways I'm miles better than I was.
Your not alone mate and there's no shame in admitting your struggling although I've had no experience of tablets etc as I wanted to do it without although I never ruled them out totally. I have also found that being bored lets your mind wander and keeping myself busy does help. Thankyou for this, i have noticed myself doing it, for example i think of something, which will be associated with anxiety, which then kickstarts thinking about a negative scenario in which i will imagine me having anxiety somehwere somehow, and once the scenario is over, ill worry about it, and then another scenario will start.... it will all build up and build up, in which then will bring on physical symptoms such as sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, going to loo more, dry mouth, and normally ends up with a rush of blood going to my head, kind of feels like my face is on fire. It doesnt seem to be a place, the only place i hate being in is on a plane, or a lift. Its as if i need to escape etc. Not due to go on a plane until the end of the year. I don't think its a situation as i seem to have it 24/7 at the min, i.e. as soon as i wake up the first thought would probably be ... am i going to be anxious today, then boom, off goes the first scenario, circle etc. Keeping busy does help, i got home from work at 1pm, and normally i would happily sit down on my playstation for 5 hours until the gf got home, but i had to get out and keep me busy, i.e. hoovering car, sweeping out garage, work on the garden shed etc, and as soon as i came in and sat down on the sofa, the anxiety 'circle' got worse and i had to take a diazepam to calm me down.. Thanks for all the advice, stories, helpful tips etc. means a great deal, I'm off to bed soon as i'm we'll mentally knackered, so any replies after this i'll reply tomorrow morning when im back in the gloom room aka (work) Cheers for everything so far all. Gaz
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