Horizon: The Secret Life of the Cat 9pm tonight!
Discussion
LuS1fer said:
TheHeretic said:
The hilarious thing is when they talk about how cats are so unnatural. They then complain about cats walking on their manicured lawns.
Hardly manicured, just for children to play on. What is unnatural is people wanting animals living in their house squatting their unwashed anuses onto their work surfaces, beds, sofas. At least the sh*t we put up with stays outside, you have to eat it every day.
llewop said:
TheHeretic said:
Yay! Angry man is back!
and misguided as ever - clearly not as close an observer as he claims - cats spend nearly as much time cleaning themselves as sleeping! but of course he probably thinks they are just plotting how to annoy him next...
You might think I've never had cats but I have and know exactly what they do.
Well we could argue about this all night but the gun is loaded and I don't want to miss any.
Here's a guy who put more effort into it though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbkLjjlMV8
Here's a guy who put more effort into it though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbkLjjlMV8
Edited by LuS1fer on Monday 17th June 22:58
LuS1fer said:
Here's a guy who put more effort into it though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbkLjjlMV8
That's a great device. The photos are hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbkLjjlMV8
llewop said:
and misguided as ever - clearly not as close an observer as he claims - cats spend nearly as much time cleaning themselves as sleeping! but of course he probably thinks they are just plotting how to annoy him next...
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seig...
I think I'll be investing in one of these:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contech-ScareCrow-Motion-A...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jHYV6nJksw
Just the thought of a wet cat (pseudo child/dolly) going home to it's owner who can talk baby talk to it while drying the fleas, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contech-ScareCrow-Motion-A...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jHYV6nJksw
Just the thought of a wet cat (pseudo child/dolly) going home to it's owner who can talk baby talk to it while drying the fleas, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
LuS1fer said:
I think I'll be investing in one of these:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contech-ScareCrow-Motion-A...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jHYV6nJksw
Just the thought of a wet cat (pseudo child/dolly) going home to it's owner who can talk baby talk to it while drying the fleas, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
But not as warm as the feeling inside that the cat owner gets when their moggy goes and craps on your lawn http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contech-ScareCrow-Motion-A...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jHYV6nJksw
Just the thought of a wet cat (pseudo child/dolly) going home to it's owner who can talk baby talk to it while drying the fleas, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. b
ds!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Cat owner's diary.
04:56. Woken by Tiddles "nosing" me in bed and purring. Great. But like a fool I give in.
04:57. Discover unbelievably sticky and appallingly smelly poo in slippers. Nearly yak.
05:00. Stagger down stairs barefoot to find what I think was once a pigeon, partially dismembered and plonked in front of the TV. Nice trail of feathers from the cat flap to the lounge.
05:10. Having bagged the pigeon I set to with providing Tiddles some breakfast (despite the pigeon looking like a meal or two in itself). Opened tin of Whiskas which cost more than the equivalent weight of food for human consumption. Fork it out in to a bowl and nearly gag. How the fk is this rancid offal so expensive?
05:12. Tiddles tucks in. Eats some, scatters some around the bowl but leaves at least half. Looks at me, looks back at the half full bowl, turns, waves his tail in the air giving me a nice unrestricted view of his tea-towel holder, then wanders off through the cat flap.
23:15. Rudely awoken by what sounds like a drunken air raid siren, or maybe a Celine Dion CD being played backwards, followed by the sound of a wheelie bin falling over.
23:16. Roll over and try to get back to sleep, reminding myself Tiddles loves me almost as much as I love him....when he's hungry.
04:56. Woken by Tiddles "nosing" me in bed and purring. Great. But like a fool I give in.
04:57. Discover unbelievably sticky and appallingly smelly poo in slippers. Nearly yak.
05:00. Stagger down stairs barefoot to find what I think was once a pigeon, partially dismembered and plonked in front of the TV. Nice trail of feathers from the cat flap to the lounge.
05:10. Having bagged the pigeon I set to with providing Tiddles some breakfast (despite the pigeon looking like a meal or two in itself). Opened tin of Whiskas which cost more than the equivalent weight of food for human consumption. Fork it out in to a bowl and nearly gag. How the f
k is this rancid offal so expensive?05:12. Tiddles tucks in. Eats some, scatters some around the bowl but leaves at least half. Looks at me, looks back at the half full bowl, turns, waves his tail in the air giving me a nice unrestricted view of his tea-towel holder, then wanders off through the cat flap.
23:15. Rudely awoken by what sounds like a drunken air raid siren, or maybe a Celine Dion CD being played backwards, followed by the sound of a wheelie bin falling over.
23:16. Roll over and try to get back to sleep, reminding myself Tiddles loves me almost as much as I love him....when he's hungry.
Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 19th June 02:10
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