Tell us something really trivial about your life Volume 40

Obliquely, if I was to mention that a seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener, you would be able to tell our listener the make and model of car I was driving at the time of this escapade.

FTFYAA (and all)

Oh, mate. Tis too late. Pequod has run down the curtain and joined the Choir Invisible. He is no more. He has ceased to be.

Please accept our apologies that this awful event wasn't made plain. Talking in code and relentlessly trying to be amusing has drawbacks in times of seriousness.

A representation from the Trivial Thread are kindly being allowed to attend his funeral by his family.

We will be raising a glass* to the old boy on the 31st of this month.

*Or two.

My attempts to track him down were swiftly exhausted.

Sam Spade I ain't.

Nor even a Constable Dunstable.

Not just a cat, a Lotus cat.

If you needed car bodywork doing when ar were a lad, you went to Marvellous Mac in Yateley. He would stalk round your car sucking air through his teeth. "Yeah, twe... twe... thir... thir... Insurance job is it? Fifty quid." While you'd been 'negotiating' a kitten would have been playing round your feet. He was plagued with kittens. While she should have been attending to the mouse population, the workshop cat was instead being generous with her favours and adding to the kitten population for Mac to give away. "Do you like that cat? Have it. I'll spray it any colour you like."

Don't be so hard on yourself.

It turns out the Government can't afford an umbrella.

Tell us about the nonagenarian, spikey. There are some stories there.

Robbo, I'll see you in The Lanyard and Walking Frame later for a port and lemon.

I've been with Vodafone since my number began 0378.

Their gratitude for my loyalty knows no bounds.

I received this earlier:



Breakfast. Up to £2.50. Today only. At M&S.

It arrived at 11.26.

Their generosity! I'm filling up.