Went ballistic at my OH browsing my facebook
Discussion
Cara Van Man said:
isee said:
Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
Hello, may I be so presumptious as to ask how old you are?There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
I'm guessing about 12?
Either that or you met your missus at the 'special needs' school disco.
No more age related pisstakes will be dignified with a response from now on just fyi
isee said:
Tony*T3 said:
Epic trust fail by her.
Epic 'nothing to hide' fail by you.
Well she's done that with my text messages in the past and although I didn't like it I didn't stop her. Figured I'd say something now so that she doesn't mistake my lack of protest as a "this is fine and can be done by her routinely" signEpic 'nothing to hide' fail by you.
If your relationship can't handle stuff like that then please NEVER ever have kids or even buy a house together. There will be far more serious challenges to overcome in the future than your missus browsing on your iphone. In other words, if you can't climb the stairs then do not attempt Everest.
V8mate said:
collateral said:
V8mate said:
collateral said:
V8mate said:
isee said:
V8mate said:
I'll give it seven days until you post again bleating about your wife having left you.
in 7 days maybe but at this precise moment in time i feel like i'd help her pack her things.
k-off huge diamond - you have no business being married.There's no guessing what kind of sensitive messages might be sitting in someone's private in-box. Even if my in-box was empty I'd be annoyed in the OP's position
I said:
"If you want to play 'secret messages' with other women...."
'If' is a conditional statement. Your selective quote is based upon choosing to carry out that conditional statement.
isee said:
Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
Does she have the password or does it automatically log in? If she has the PW why are you upset she used it? If she doesn't, why save it so everyone who picks up the phone can access it?isee said:
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
That didn't make you look bad IN THE SLIGHTEST. She had access to something and you got mad at her for accessing it. If you didn't want her to have access, don't give her the PW and don't leave it saved. For pity sake, it's a facebook. You flip out and get mad you look guilty. You go up to her and smile and show her your friends she won't feel the need to snoop.I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
isee said:
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
You became guilty when you cussed her out for looking.WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
Instead of throwing in the towel why not try working on what the underlying issues are. She seems she might be left out of a lot a parts of your life. Do you have a lot of separate friends? Does she not know a lot about your past? (I have a lot of past friends on FB) Have you ever given her a reason not to trust you? Have you been more and more distant before this? Lots of extra late shifts? You might actually be working, but she may have been cheated on in the past this way? Maybe she has personal insecurities to work out?
No one wants to work out their problems anymore.. just call it quits. It's sad.
Sit down and have a CALM chat with her. Start off for apologizing for cussing and yanking the phone. Then open up the FB and ask her what she wanted to know, that you'd gladly show her. Not in a snarky tone either. Keep the conversation quiet and pleasant
Unless you're a fibber and have something to hide.
A3 Lucie said:
Georgiegirl said:
I see why you are a bit annoyed, but that level of reaction means one thing to women - you are very very guilty!
Personally it wouldnt bother me if someone looked at my email, facebook, phone.....anything really
TBH I've looked at my boyfriend's phone and he was so mad about it 'I've got nothing to hide, it's just my private phone'....which screams guilt to most women. I'm happy to leave my phone around, my facebook/emails open, if he wanted to look at anything he could but he is so cagey!Personally it wouldnt bother me if someone looked at my email, facebook, phone.....anything really
I think it must be a man/woman thing....I often get tempted, but I know that if it gets to that stage where I actually do it then the relationship is dead for me anyway
Chainguy said:
escargot said:
What the fk? Why are people siding with the psychotic, jealous bunny boiler in this?
Mate, you did absolutely the right thing and the reason she's giving you the silent treatment is because she's embarrassed that you caught her.
+1. Do NOT marry the bk? Why are people siding with the psychotic, jealous bunny boiler in this?Mate, you did absolutely the right thing and the reason she's giving you the silent treatment is because she's embarrassed that you caught her.
h.SHE has a guilty conciense. How many affairs has she had with married/attached men I wonder that you dont know about, and she is projecting this onto you.
She is obviously getting dicked elsewhere.
Get rid. Any photos?
isee said:
Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
Let me get this right, you put information about yourself on a Public website like facebook for everyone to see, and as soon as your wife has a look you tell her she is doing something wrong, your talking rubbish mate.There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
Shows a complete and utter lack of trust. Even if you had nothing to hide, she still had no right. It demonstrates that she is happy to invade your privacy. A stern talking to is needed (though it sounds like you did already. Keep repeating until she gets the message.) It is not on, ever! She is probably jealous and insecure, but that is no excuse.
She shouldn't have been looking through your personal stuff.
You shouldn't have flown off the handle at something fairly rudimentary.
Would a simple "Would you mind not looking through my Facebook page - it's private to me" not have done?
And people wonder why there's so many arguments in relationships nowadays. Voice disproval (sensibly) G/F apologises, move on, job done.
No need for a hissy fit from either party IMO...
You shouldn't have flown off the handle at something fairly rudimentary.
Would a simple "Would you mind not looking through my Facebook page - it's private to me" not have done?
And people wonder why there's so many arguments in relationships nowadays. Voice disproval (sensibly) G/F apologises, move on, job done.
No need for a hissy fit from either party IMO...
Georgiegirl said:
A3 Lucie said:
Georgiegirl said:
I see why you are a bit annoyed, but that level of reaction means one thing to women - you are very very guilty!
Personally it wouldnt bother me if someone looked at my email, facebook, phone.....anything really
TBH I've looked at my boyfriend's phone and he was so mad about it 'I've got nothing to hide, it's just my private phone'....which screams guilt to most women. I'm happy to leave my phone around, my facebook/emails open, if he wanted to look at anything he could but he is so cagey!Personally it wouldnt bother me if someone looked at my email, facebook, phone.....anything really
I think it must be a man/woman thing....I often get tempted, but I know that if it gets to that stage where I actually do it then the relationship is dead for me anyway
ofcorsa said:
Its not just about secret messages with woman though, Could be mates asking advice, Sensative medicle problem? relationship problems, All things i wouldnt want the Mrs being party to.
Do you really use Facebook for things like that?Apart from organising a surprise for her, I can't imagine any scenario where my wife would need to be kept in the dark about anything I'm involved in.
Different strokes...
EmmaP said:
BBS-LM said:
Let me get this right, you put information about yourself on a Public website like facebook for everyone to see, and as soon as your wife has a look you tell her she is doing something wrong, your talking rubbish mate.
Personal email is not public domain.A3 Lucie said:
Georgiegirl said:
A3 Lucie said:
Georgiegirl said:
I see why you are a bit annoyed, but that level of reaction means one thing to women - you are very very guilty!
Personally it wouldnt bother me if someone looked at my email, facebook, phone.....anything really
TBH I've looked at my boyfriend's phone and he was so mad about it 'I've got nothing to hide, it's just my private phone'....which screams guilt to most women. I'm happy to leave my phone around, my facebook/emails open, if he wanted to look at anything he could but he is so cagey!Personally it wouldnt bother me if someone looked at my email, facebook, phone.....anything really
I think it must be a man/woman thing....I often get tempted, but I know that if it gets to that stage where I actually do it then the relationship is dead for me anyway
Actually after reading most of these posts I don't lol!
Whats your facebook name hun?
EmmaP said:
BBS-LM said:
Let me get this right, you put information about yourself on a Public website like facebook for everyone to see, and as soon as your wife has a look you tell her she is doing something wrong, your talking rubbish mate.
Personal email is not public domain.Taking her phone off her is very mature.
Your are lucky you are not getting it removed by A&E right now as that's what she should have done.
My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
Your are lucky you are not getting it removed by A&E right now as that's what she should have done.My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
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