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gowmonster
1,304 posts
36 months
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richcorsavxr said: Harry Redknapp's dog rosie will reportedly be paid £3,000,000 in compensation by Tottenham, which after tax will equate to approximately £3,000,000. Fixed that for you.
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McAndy
4,920 posts
46 months
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My dad asked me if I was going to get some help for my Oasis addiction.
I said maaayyybeeee...
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Colonial
9,741 posts
74 months
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Say what you want about Oedipus, but he wasn't afraid to put his mummy where his mouth is.
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McAndy
4,920 posts
46 months
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Colonial said: Say what you want about Oedipus, but he wasn't afraid to put his mummy where his mouth is.  Wait. 
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kowalski655
861 posts
12 months
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I once had a job cleaning in a glitter factory.
It was pretty rubbish.
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Output Flange
12,260 posts
80 months
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I've just bought a gazebo, some funky lighting and I've booked Earth, Wind & Fire to play in it throughout June, July and August.
This really is the summer of my disco tent.
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roadwolf
180 posts
25 months
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Colonial said: Say what you want about Oedipus, but he wasn't afraid to put his mummy where his mouth is. Oedipus's mother wrote the song, I won't let the son go down on me.
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Funkycoldribena
414 posts
23 months
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Output Flange said: I've just bought a gazebo, some funky lighting and I've booked Earth, Wind & Fire to play in it throughout June, July and August.
This really is the summer of my disco tent. That's older than Earth,Wind and Fire.
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Wacky Racer
20,279 posts
116 months
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Ayahuasca said: OlberJ said: I pulled a girl in a night club the other night and we went back to her place.
She opens a bottle of wine and sits next to me on the couch, full of smiles and giggles.
"Would like you to take this upstairs?" She asks seductively.
"Alright luv, you grab that end and go first, i'll take the weight." Surely a bottle of wine doesn't weigh that much? I hope you're not being serious...
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JonRB
39,421 posts
141 months
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Wacky Racer said: I hope you're not being serious... No, he's trying to be clever. And failing. 
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K12beano
14,380 posts
144 months
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Whilst on the wine theme, I took a bird to a posh french restaurant last night.
"We'll have a bottle of that Chiens Blanc" I said in my best french accent to the grovelling waiter.
"Mais, Monsieur, le Chenin Blanc, naturellement?" he enquired, obsequiously.
"Look, Pal, at that - we'll have the 'Wine for Dogs', thank you!"
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OlberJ
11,953 posts
102 months
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Quite, i was careful not to word it the other way round. I'm all for sarcasm though 
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Jonboy_t
2,536 posts
52 months
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Lance Armstrong has been done for doping offences. Can't believe the cycling authorities have only just got him for it, he's been pedalling for years!
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PoleDriver
20,229 posts
63 months
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Just held a coconut shell up to my ear and I could hear the sound of a one legged horse standing very still.
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OlberJ
11,953 posts
102 months
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African or European?
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PoleDriver
20,229 posts
63 months
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OlberJ said: African or European? The coconut, or the one-legged horse?
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OlberJ
11,953 posts
102 months
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How do you tell the difference between an African and an Indian elephant?
The accent.
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Tim330
442 posts
81 months
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ijm
27,900 posts
86 months
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Tim330 said: I'm sure they, do you have any then?
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PoleDriver
20,229 posts
63 months
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ijm said: I'm sure they, do you have any then? Quoted for irony!
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