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BlackVanDyke
8,043 posts
80 months
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R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: AJS- said: This sounds like it makes a convincing case for discrimination to me.
Quite honestly, if it was me I would just call them by their old name, and do my best to ignore the fact they had been dumb enough to get tits and come to work in a dress.
And I live in Thailand where changing genders isn't all that unusual. However I've never really come across it in serious jobs, and have found that mostly people who feel the need to dress as a woman are more into attention seeking and slap stick humour than anything else.  So stay in Thailand. Definitely don't come and work in the UK where transwomen in all professions (including any 'real job' you care to mention) expect to be treated with a bit of basic respect and have recourse to the law if their lives are made impossible by the actions of people who think it acceptable to continually dismiss the facts of their being. Erm... How do you know so much about the mechanics of it all? I'm not transsexual, but as a gender-doesn't-fit queer type, this is my community. (a few women of trans history would strongly disagree with this and don't want to be associated with the mucky genderqueers - like any minority group there are schisms) My best friend, the only former lover I'd have back if she'd have me, and my two best employees are trans. You learn how it all works quite fast in such a context.
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R300will
3,613 posts
20 months
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pobs said: R300will said: So what do you think it is? Also you're a girl right? yea i'm a girl. I think the old cliche of being trapped in the wrong body is actually a good way of describing it. I believe a transsexual person is their internal gender. They just have misfortune of being born with the wrong set of chromosomes. From the studies i've seen a transsexual woman's brain, is identical to an XX woman's brain. If you think about it, The gender of someone's brain is incredibly powerful. A person can be born with male bits for example, be brought up as male, face a pretty damn transphobic world on a day to day basis yet if they are female on the inside their feminity will still shine through and they transition. Despite the odds being stacked against them. From personal experience i can tell you it has nothing to do with attention seeking, hiding facing up to being gay, or nutterism and it's certainly not a lifestyle choice - some people are just trans' and have to get on with it. Oh i'm sure i agree after all there are better ways to get attention. It's an interesting viewpoint and i see how you can feel that way about it. I think along a similar line but i think that the genetics are the baseline and the brain orientation is what failed. So the people are born the right gender but the brain isn't wired to think the same and that's where the problem arises.
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R300will
3,613 posts
20 months
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BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: AJS- said: This sounds like it makes a convincing case for discrimination to me.
Quite honestly, if it was me I would just call them by their old name, and do my best to ignore the fact they had been dumb enough to get tits and come to work in a dress.
And I live in Thailand where changing genders isn't all that unusual. However I've never really come across it in serious jobs, and have found that mostly people who feel the need to dress as a woman are more into attention seeking and slap stick humour than anything else. So stay in Thailand. Definitely don't come and work in the UK where transwomen in all professions (including any 'real job' you care to mention) expect to be treated with a bit of basic respect and have recourse to the law if their lives are made impossible by the actions of people who think it acceptable to continually dismiss the facts of their being. Erm... How do you know so much about the mechanics of it all? I'm not transsexual, but as a gender-doesn't-fit queer type, this is my community. (a few women of trans history would strongly disagree with this and don't want to be associated with the mucky genderqueers - like any minority group there are schisms) My best friend, the only former lover I'd have back if she'd have me, and my two best employees are trans. You learn how it all works quite fast in such a context. Fair enough, so you aren't a student then?
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Bandit
1,505 posts
149 months
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Back to the OP - the same thing happened at my work.
Was in a meeting with some analysts and I was looking at my colleague and thinking - he's wearing lipstick !
A couple of months later I see him again at work and this time he's a she!
The guy/gal is about 6'4 and built like a brick outhouse - to say the least I did not know what to say !
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BlackVanDyke
8,043 posts
80 months
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R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. 
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Disco You
1,735 posts
49 months
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BlackVanDyke said: Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. OU = Oxford University?
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blindswelledrat
18,974 posts
101 months
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Disco You said: OU = Oxford University? Open University.
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Disco You
1,735 posts
49 months
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Ah righto, I thought that you might be in my department somewhere.
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R300will
3,613 posts
20 months
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BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. So who do you employ and what for?
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Justayellowbadge
29,474 posts
111 months
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R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. So who do you employ and what for? You really haven't been here long, have you?
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R300will
3,613 posts
20 months
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Justayellowbadge said: R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. So who do you employ and what for? You really haven't been here long, have you? About 9 months, why? what am i missing in my naivety? i hope it's not inappropriate to ask 
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BlackVanDyke
8,043 posts
80 months
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R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. So who do you employ and what for? Personal (care) assistants, team of 5 on an overlapping 24-hour cover rota. Bloody hard work given no management training etc but far far better than any other alternative.
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Blown2CV
6,556 posts
72 months
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so anyway, back to 
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BlackVanDyke
8,043 posts
80 months
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Blown2CV said: so anyway, back to What of it? She doesn't look any worse than many non-trans late-40s women with a wonky sense of taste.
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R300will
3,613 posts
20 months
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BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. So who do you employ and what for? Personal (care) assistants, team of 5 on an overlapping 24-hour cover rota. Bloody hard work given no management training etc but far far better than any other alternative. Oh i had an incling that's what JAYB was implying but i would have thought NHS would supply care like that? clearly not i suppose.
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BlackVanDyke
8,043 posts
80 months
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R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: BlackVanDyke said: R300will said: Fair enough, so you aren't a student then? Part-time with the OU. Biochemistry currently. So who do you employ and what for? Personal (care) assistants, team of 5 on an overlapping 24-hour cover rota. Bloody hard work given no management training etc but far far better than any other alternative. Oh i had an incling that's what JAYB was implying but i would have thought NHS would supply care like that? clearly not i suppose. Indeed not - the NHS will VERY occasionally help to fund such care (but only if your health-related needs are profound eg someone at home on a ventilator, needing regular injected medications or similar) but even then they really don't want to provide it (and contract it out to agencies which is a liability in itself and generally best avoided). What they, and more commonly social services, will do instead is work you out a sum of money which will generally be a 10-15% underestimate of the amount of support you actually need, and then hand it to you as a budget to spend yourself. As long as there's someone willing and able to do the managing (it doesn't have to be the user themself, so people with severe intellectual impairment etc can still use it), and as long as recruitment in your area for staff isn't too terrible - fine in cities, nightmare in the countryside generally - it works really incredibly well. It means I get to choose who I'm supported by, when they work, what they do and how they do it. I'm not bound by any other person's opinion or assessment of how my needs should be met, it's just between me and the assistants. It's the only system under which someone can continue to lead their own life really - go to uni, have relationships, work when possible, I know several personal assistance users who are parents too. Given the societal niche that I occupy, being able to choose my own support is a godsend. It's also let me tailor hours etc. to suit a couple of people who due to their own medical conditions would have a really hard time holding down any other job - so the benefit goes both ways. 5 people (2 of them sole breadwinners for their families) have work through me who otherwise wouldn't - and as mentioned, 2 of those 5 are trans, one was right at the start of transition when she started working for me; not many workplaces are safe and welcoming for a very young transwoman just starting out on the journey. Huge incidental benefit for that girl from working here is that one of her colleagues is ten years further down the same(ish) road.
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WhoseGeneration
4,090 posts
76 months
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R300will said: About 9 months, why? what am i missing in my naivety? i hope it's not inappropriate to ask www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=116&t=470618 Not your fault, being new but BlackVanDyke is a petrolhead and was a promising young musician, her talent now being denied to us all because and I'm struggling to find an acceptable form of words that won't offend her, basically, her body won't let her do what she would like.
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pmanson
10,883 posts
122 months
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Dusty964 said: You should have seen the the least convincing one ever in a popular store- best known for supplying flat pack furniture & cheap meatballs(perhaps in house supplied?) in MK.
'Becki' was late 40's, black bra- filled to bursting point with tissue, which showed through 'her' yellow polo shirt, and was set off beautifully by her hairy chest. A token attempt at painting her nails had taken place at some stage previously, and her greasy, flat, greying hair provided the perfect frame to her national health specs held together by sticking plaster.
A vision in blue and yellow, 'Becki' worked in customer services, and whilst there one day- returning yet more flat packed nightmares, for some reason the then fiancee mentioned CB radio. Well, Becki piped up with "I used to be into the CB scene in a big way..." to which I replied "really, thats a funny hobby.........for a girl".
I received the filthiest of looks from both people there, and stifled my own-admittedly childish- laughter by biting my lip.
Becki later featured in the quality press that is 'The Sun' and by all accounts, after completing the op, decided 'she' was a lesbian.
Its a strange world- and despite whatever anyone may feel about such occurrences of people 'being trapped in the wrong body' I cannot help but think that the money would be better spent on something like cancer research. Sorry if that offends anyone. Yep had do a double-take a few times in there...
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BlackVanDyke
8,043 posts
80 months
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WhoseGeneration said: http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...Not your fault, being new but BlackVanDyke is a petrolhead and was a promising young musician, her talent now being denied to us all because and I'm struggling to find an acceptable form of words that won't offend her, basically, her body won't let her do what she would like. Jesus but it's hard to reread all that. Hadn't looked back. My own take on my condition is thus: I have a progressively disabling genetic condition. I was training to be a professional musician but that does require being able to actually hold the bloody viola. As I'm from a family of musicians this is a bit of a b  h and did unpleasant things to my sense of self for a while. Mostly sorted now - time is a healer blah blah. It does forcefully remind me how absolutely bloody brilliant PHers are when the going gets tough - I couldn't have hoped for better mates during all that (and you all may not have realised at the time but aside from my dad, who's a star, you lot were IT - uni mates disappeared as soon as things got hairy). I ended up in that nursing home for nine MONTHS of 'respite' (what from I've never been told) while the care got steadily worse and (some of) the staff crueller and more neglectful. It does have a happy ending of sorts: in September 2008 they threw me out (yes really - apparently they prefer the patient who's not able to complain about being left sitting in their own excreta) which forced the council's hand as no other nursing home locally was equipped for the likes of me and a sudden fit of ethics (or perhaps my reputation?!) stopped the couple of unsuitable ones from agreeing to take me on regardless. Suddenly that magical care funding they hadn't been able to find for the entire 9 months materialised, and the rest, as they say, is history.
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R300will
3,613 posts
20 months
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BlackVanDyke said: WhoseGeneration said: http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...Not your fault, being new but BlackVanDyke is a petrolhead and was a promising young musician, her talent now being denied to us all because and I'm struggling to find an acceptable form of words that won't offend her, basically, her body won't let her do what she would like. Jesus but it's hard to reread all that. Hadn't looked back. My own take on my condition is thus: I have a progressively disabling genetic condition. I was training to be a professional musician but that does require being able to actually hold the bloody viola. As I'm from a family of musicians this is a bit of a b h and did unpleasant things to my sense of self for a while. Mostly sorted now - time is a healer blah blah. It does forcefully remind me how absolutely bloody brilliant PHers are when the going gets tough - I couldn't have hoped for better mates during all that (and you all may not have realised at the time but aside from my dad, who's a star, you lot were IT - uni mates disappeared as soon as things got hairy). I ended up in that nursing home for nine MONTHS of 'respite' (what from I've never been told) while the care got steadily worse and (some of) the staff crueller and more neglectful. It does have a happy ending of sorts: in September 2008 they threw me out (yes really - apparently they prefer the patient who's not able to complain about being left sitting in their own excreta) which forced the council's hand as no other nursing home locally was equipped for the likes of me and a sudden fit of ethics (or perhaps my reputation?!) stopped the couple of unsuitable ones from agreeing to take me on regardless. Suddenly that magical care funding they hadn't been able to find for the entire 9 months materialised, and the rest, as they say, is history. Bloody Hell! just read the thread and maximum respect to you for putting up with everything over the last couple of years!
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