If, to get back at the lad at college who always blaggs a drink from your coke bottle instead of buying his own you fill the bottom quarter with vinegar then tell him he can finish it off, you will end up being blamed when he takes a massive swig then throws it back up along with his lunch all over the cafeteria table


Also when a two year old me pushed an old half pence coin down a small gap in the top of a Bakelite (ask your parents, kids) electrical socket, there was an impressive flash and a big black scorch mark up the wall. The local electricity board had to come to the house and replace the main fuses

At my old school there was a very clever chubby lad and a very nutty psycho lad,one day Mr clever went around asking everyone to punch him in the stomach as he tensed his muscles (a bit like houdini did) and none of us could make him flinch.
The next day Mr clever asked Mr nutty to punch him as hard as he could,By this time a big crowd had gathered and then suddenly.................































Mr clever was on the floor with hands clasped to his face with blood everywhere,Mr nutty said "dur,i did'nt know it had to be the stomach"

Just remembered one, we had a football field at the end of our lane with wood jutting in from the side. Behind the hedge w a path, which ran along the hedge, behind the goals and down to the river. The was a hump just behind the goal and we decided to see how high we could jump our bikes off this hump after pedalling like something possessed down the path.

I went first. I was always tall, and given that we could all walk over this hump happily, nobody had noticed the rope tying the goal posts to a tree level with my neck at the height I could reach in the air, on my bike...

I can still remember the noise the emanated from within me as I stopped and the bike carried on, 8/10 years on.

What happens then you fill a 2 litre glass bottle to the brim with water, screw a cap on tight and throw it on a small bonfire?

Absolutely nothing.

Which is why you reappear from behind the shed and sit around the bonfire roasting marshmallows.

....until you come to, lying on your back, every forward facing skin surface scalded and thousands of tiny pinpricks of glass covering your arms and face. How none of us was blinded remains a miracle of physics.

Have dozens of idiot kid stories, learnt the hard way on most fronts..... But a funny one was me filling my Dads hollow false leg with knitting needles to see if he sounded like a maraca, we loved it but he didn't see the funny side.....

Several.

Variation on the pipe bomb, great for firing ball bearings etc just ram the weedkiller and suger mixture in the end, bit of wadding and projectile. Finished when a half inch ball bring went though a very large door in my mates dads garage with me goin the other was through the small door in the main garage door, all of me made it except the right shin which left three sq inches of skin on it. still got the scar

Had a swing near a railway line and the best way to describe the topography is Embankment top of which is level with branch onto which the old towing rope from nearby canal was tied. distance about 25ft high. beneath this was a VERY dirty stream known locally as the black dye. 2in of flowing water and about three ft of silt, the tree was the other side of this waterway and the rope was hung directly above it. The other side of the trees was a railway line, which you could get over with enough oomph, although not many people did. if you didn't do the 'parachue jump on the first or second swing back the only was down was to drop in the stream. One day on of the erks from a nearby estate appeared and chucked everyone off to have a go. took an enormous run and dissappeared through the trees,an empty coal train was passing at the time, the rope came back....he didnt
After th train had gone we all went onto the track to find the body... nothing found. That afternoon a very dirty and dishevelled oik returned, he had lost grip and fell into an empty wagon. First stop Temple Mills yard.
Just down the track from here there was a very long siding in which they put dead wagons with a guards van, which we used as a 'club hut' whilst train spotting. One day the guard caught us and gave chase. the lead lad saw a small concrete patch to jump onto from the embankment. only it wasnt concrete, it was a pit of pig st. up to his waist, the guard just laughed

At school, Mr Harding was an eccentric Chemistry teacher and showed us the 'volcano' trick one day. Unbeknown to him, a lad had put starter pistol caps in it. When he set fire to it we all ducked, he just mocked us calling us scared, then the caps started...

The school toilets wwere outside and the 'sit downs' were known as the green line due to the paint scheme. They were also used as the 'smoking room' during break and whilst the staff knew about this, raids were not that often. The kid who had the starter pistol caps had also got hold of carbide tablets and we had experimented with these. So one day he emptied a good amount into one of the bogs,which was the day of a raid, and said bog was being used but not for its correct use. When the lookout alerted the smokers, all fags were deposited in the pan and flushed, except this one. great explosion and ruined trousers

Bought one of the Colourtune kits that you could screw into the spark plug hole and watch the flame as you adjust the mixture. Its amazing just how far one of these can go and the speed it attains from a 'standing start' when it isnt screwed in correctly

Had a Daimler Conquest that had an adjustable steering wheel which slid up and down. Showing this to a friend one day i pulled a little to hard and the wheel parted company with the column. No problem if stationary, but i was moving along Hornsey High Street at the time. found out three things, One, you cannot line up a steering wheel back on its splines when moving, Two, you have not got enough leverage to steer using your hands on the spline of the column. Three dont do it when going round a slight bend.
How the car managed to get on the other side of the road and into the only gap between parked cars i do not know.

I can still see the look on the bus drivers face as i sedately went across his bows, nor my mates screams as we performed the unintentional manoeuvre.

falling out of trees scrumping, toboganning down railway embankments on corrogated iron
Heading down a hill on a 'jigger cart' (pram wheels, length of scaffolding board chassis, and orange box body, steering by string attached to front axle) towards a T junction. No brakes!!!!

How did we all survive? But we are still here to tell the tales

I grew up in the warwickshire countryside.

We quite sucessfully made a potato launcher which was simply a pipe stuffed with potatos from a nearby field with a couple of deoderent cans at the bottom set fire at the bottom and wait...... And wait..... And wait......... And wait unreliable way thinking about it if only we could get hold of a blow torch.

Bonfire night was also a fun time esps when we stuffed a banger with twice as much powder didnt go higher it just blew up on the spot showering us with hot cardboard!

Custom rockets with different fins were also fun untill the weight made one fall over and shoot towards us.

Thats really mean!!!!!

Mighty funny, though!!!

Holy smoke!

And Lo, there was much soreness and amusement in the valley.

Yep. Heard them all.