Well job 1 sounds like getting an alcosense or similar, it'll be harder to kick the alcohol if you're walking everywhere or worse..

Openly admitting you have a problem is actually the half the battle and for some the hardest part.

Look at it that your now already halfway through, have a mad ten minutes and throw all alcohol down the sink, even it's something special like a bottle of champagne from your wedding day or some rum that's used for cooking, don't keep any money in the house that would facilitate a wander to the local off licence.

Live like a monk for a few weeks and
make it as hard as possible to get a drink into your hands.

Not read the whole thread, but have you contacted these people?

http://www.addaction.org.uk/

Not your usual 'Alcoholics Anonymous sitting in a circle admitting you are a failure' type help.

Good luck, first step is to recognise you have a problem.

Very few of us are.

Just ill.

How did Friday go?

propranolol is a fantastic drug, give it some time to work, I had it a few years ago when I was working way too hard and was basically exhausted. It does however work on the symptoms and not the cause but it does give you relief from the symptoms which gives you a chance to work on the causes with a more positive mind.

Do not be disheartened. What you've done so far is incredibly brave. You are not weak and you are not a failure.

You are ill and you are going to get better.

You've taken the first step on a difficult journey and as impossible as it may seem right now, once you've climbed this mountain, the view will be unbelievably clear.

Try not to berate yourself too much if you slip either. Like every path in life there will be the odd wrong turn. You have people all around you (virtual or otherwise) who will listen or give you a nudge in the right direction without judgement or desire for recompense.

So, as much as I know you feel you don't deserve it, give yourself a little pat on the back.

Find a peaceful spot, close your eyes and either remember or imagine a life without anxiety, depression, panic attacks (and hangovers that are only cured by another drink).

That life that you're imagining or remembering is within grasp and just at the top of that hill.

And we're all climbing with you.

i was having a bit of a think today as i lay on my bach shaking - waiting for the tesco delivery man

i have been struggling to understand what happened in terms of how quickly things have escalated to where i'm at right now

it's only a matter of weeks ago i was thinking that i should maybe cut down a bit but i was still functioning properly

and then, before i could see any signs, i'm in what seems like a disasterous situation

best analogy is that it's like a vortex

on the outside, it's quite slow and controlled

when i got close to the centre, it was going so fast i had zero control

and then it spat me out in to a place i don't recognise

The place you dont recognise, will become more familiar as you continue with this process and become less dependent on Alcohol.

I don't have too much to add to this thread, but I think it is very good that you have realised you have a problem before it is too late and are looking to rectify it.

2 days before Christmas last year, the police came to our door at 2am to tell us that my Auntie had died from alcoholism at 42. We knew about her problem, I had spoken to her about it on the phone, but she refused to admit anything was wrong - hence no one could do anything about it. Unfortunately she came into a large sum of money, and that was the catalyst for things to come.

That was the end of it really, the money was in my Auntie's name and no one could take it away. 6 months later she was dead. I still remember going to my Gran's house in the middle of the night to tell her what had happened, it was devastating. My family is still in the process of recovering now, and it has had a real impact on all of us.

Alcoholism is a truly terrible thing and doesn't just affect the individual, but their families too. The worst part is, there is almost nothing that can be done if an addict does not admit that there is a problem, so well done those who are trying to address the issue.

Note - this is not aimed at anyone in particular who is reading or has contributed to this thread. I just feel it is important that those affected get a slightly different point of view on things.

Addaction are going to be tough on you. They take no prisoners. You have to be TOTALLY honest with them otherwise it's a waste of their time and yours. They are very very good though, if you give them a chance.

Good luck mate and don't feel as though you are failing. The GP and addaction will help if you let them.