The autism thread
Discussion
solo2 said:
I've worked with two autistic people in the past before, the first before I knew what autism was and they were ridiculed and treated so badly not just by staff, but by Management. The first person I worked with didn't know he was autistic as and I worked with him for about 10 years and it was in this time my son was diagnosed and I tried to talk to him about seeking a diagnosis but unfortunately he took my gentle conversation the wrong way and was very upset claiming he was not. He clearly was high functioning, he was so clever yet social skills were zero but he was largely good at the work he did. the second person was not in my Dept and it was upsetting watching on as he went through hell and nothing I could do seemed to stop it - he was very young and not worldly wise so that really did not help.
I used to work in the steel industry. I am 100% confident that our chief metallurgist was autistic. Work wise he was one of those people who had mastered his craft to the extent that his opinion was unassailable. Truly brilliant scientifically.
Personably a totally different story. He could drop a conversation mid sentence and pick it up from exactly the same point minutes, hours or even days later. Loads of stories about his inability to pick up or react to social cues, a highlight being the time he had to be physically removed from a meeting to go and tend to his wife who’d been in a car accident and the police had called our receptionist. He genuinely didn’t see why it should involve him!
Dressed like he’d been dragged through a hedge. Drove an aging rust bucket. Completely disorganized other than where it counted professionally.
Top bloke, liked him a lot but then again I’m also ND. Was the butt of a lot of jokes, but then I guess a benefit of his style of ASD was to be oblivious to them. Certainly his ASD didn’t have any impact on his career.
Sporky said:
That's great news. Long may it continue.
I can see how customer service could be a great role for some autistic people; the interaction with people is transactional, and many of us have a strong sense of doing things "right".
100% this. All customers want something and its quite easy to listen to them and keep them happy. I mainly deal with tradesmen and it blows my bosses mind that I often get tips from them. I don't find this as taxing as most by the sound of it though. I can see how customer service could be a great role for some autistic people; the interaction with people is transactional, and many of us have a strong sense of doing things "right".
Derek Withers said:
Sporky said:
That's great news. Long may it continue.
I can see how customer service could be a great role for some autistic people; the interaction with people is transactional, and many of us have a strong sense of doing things "right".
100% this. All customers want something and its quite easy to listen to them and keep them happy. I mainly deal with tradesmen and it blows my bosses mind that I often get tips from them. I don't find this as taxing as most by the sound of it though. I can see how customer service could be a great role for some autistic people; the interaction with people is transactional, and many of us have a strong sense of doing things "right".
I was so good at it that I unbeknownst to me served the head of HR for British Airways who asked the restaurant manager if they minded of they poached me for cabin crew. As it was I found my calling in the bastion of autistic people, IT.
I run a team of 5 people, they all know I am diagnosed.
Two of the team we joke together they are both undiagnosed and both are in my opinion 100%, another has an autistic kid and is deffo in my opinion also autistic especially bearing in mind the genetic element, That leaves two others, one of which I see no evidence, the other is a maybe, definitely has traits but whether its enough for full diagnosis I'm not sure, but they do keep their cards close to their chest.
So if you include myself, then my team is almost certainly 66% autistic.and possibly as high as 80%. Other teams are available and past performance does not indicate future performance.
thats a very negative view, especially in these days where awareness is greater. but then I suppose it depends on the workplace.
I don't make a secret of my diagnosis, but neither do I blurt it out. I kinda let it slide out over time, make a joke of it along the way, mention a difficulty I might have in a situation, so that people get used to it, and see me before the autism.
Having said that, the above could be seen as testing the water, and if I ever started getting bad vibes i'd back away. I can mask pretty well, occasionally that slips of course, but usually the result is I appear rude or a bit stressy, so could style it out if need be, go to lunch need the loo urgently etc
There are outliers I guess.What do you mean by 'outliers' ?
Two of the team we joke together they are both undiagnosed and both are in my opinion 100%, another has an autistic kid and is deffo in my opinion also autistic especially bearing in mind the genetic element, That leaves two others, one of which I see no evidence, the other is a maybe, definitely has traits but whether its enough for full diagnosis I'm not sure, but they do keep their cards close to their chest.
So if you include myself, then my team is almost certainly 66% autistic.and possibly as high as 80%. Other teams are available and past performance does not indicate future performance.
tim jb said:
Sporky said:
Not suggesting you haven't, but can you encourage him to be honest with them if he's getting overwhelmed at any point?
No, don't do this. Don't give the impression autism is more of a problem than it already is. That said NT's will notice there is something amiss early on because all the masking in world can't hide autistic traits over a long period. The reality is autistics and the workplace don't mix, there is never a good outcome. I don't make a secret of my diagnosis, but neither do I blurt it out. I kinda let it slide out over time, make a joke of it along the way, mention a difficulty I might have in a situation, so that people get used to it, and see me before the autism.
Having said that, the above could be seen as testing the water, and if I ever started getting bad vibes i'd back away. I can mask pretty well, occasionally that slips of course, but usually the result is I appear rude or a bit stressy, so could style it out if need be, go to lunch need the loo urgently etc
tim jb said:
Sporky said:
I'm married, we met in 2000. My wife is also autistic, but no formal diagnosis. We both suspect ADHD too, which can hide (and be hidden by) autism.
Not much in the way of friends; some work chums, some dog-walking chums.
Full DSM-V diagnosis, in case you're wondering. At the debrief I was told that both clinical psychologists were certain in the first minute or so; the other four hours was testing the assumption and satisfying the clinical requirements,.
I'm genuinely unsure how to reply!Not much in the way of friends; some work chums, some dog-walking chums.
Full DSM-V diagnosis, in case you're wondering. At the debrief I was told that both clinical psychologists were certain in the first minute or so; the other four hours was testing the assumption and satisfying the clinical requirements,.
There are outliers I guess.
Edited by sparkyhx on Thursday 7th March 23:39
"Autists" is, like your previous "autistics", not a preferred term. I'd hope you don't use "spastic" to describe someone with cerebral palsy, so please don't use "autists" or "autistics" to refer to autistic people.
To ape your post, I can only conclude you've used it again to seek conflict. The rest of your post, which is negative, hateful, and aggressive, reinforces that view.
You have a blinkered and toxic view of autism.
To ape your post, I can only conclude you've used it again to seek conflict. The rest of your post, which is negative, hateful, and aggressive, reinforces that view.
You have a blinkered and toxic view of autism.
Edited by Sporky on Friday 8th March 11:14
tim jb said:
As you're ASD - why ask? I can only imagine to disagree for some reason, argue otherwise or seek conflict.
ASD = problems with social interactions and communication; of which you're aware being ASD diagnosed.
By that autists don't, or rarely marry or socialise well. Most are unemployable. If they gain employment it's usually unsustainable.
Autism is f
king horrible; if I had to sum it up in two words - 'death sentence'. If you've not experienced life-curtailing problems you're probably not ASD.
Are you an autistic person experiencing 'life-curtailing problems'? If so, you deserve sympathy and help. But there are many others who are living happy, fulfilling lives.ASD = problems with social interactions and communication; of which you're aware being ASD diagnosed.
By that autists don't, or rarely marry or socialise well. Most are unemployable. If they gain employment it's usually unsustainable.
Autism is f
king horrible; if I had to sum it up in two words - 'death sentence'. If you've not experienced life-curtailing problems you're probably not ASD. If you are not an autistic person but hold this view of people with ASD, you urgently need to educate yourself.
tim jb said:
You're not entitled to form those conclusions.
You've come into a support thread for autistic people and parents/family/friends thereof, and described autism as a "death sentence".You've said we shouldn't be allowed jobs.
My conclusions are entirely valid based on what you've posted, and you have no authority over me or anyone else to say what conclusions we may reach.
Alternatively, if I'm not "entitled" to form conclusions based on your posts, by the exact same standard you are not entitled to have concluded that autistic people and the workplace don't mix, or that we can't maintain marriages.
Edited by Sporky on Friday 8th March 11:47
tim jb said:
As you're ASD - why ask? I can only imagine to disagree for some reason, argue otherwise or seek conflict.
ASD = problems with social interactions and communication; of which you're aware being ASD diagnosed.
By that autists don't, or rarely marry or socialise well. Most are unemployable. If they gain employment it's usually unsustainable.
Autism is fking horrible; if I had to sum it up in two words - 'death sentence'. If you've not experienced life-curtailing problems you're probably not ASD.
You're actually on the receiving end of one of the ways autistic people frankly do communication better than neuro-typical people if you ask me... ASD = problems with social interactions and communication; of which you're aware being ASD diagnosed.
By that autists don't, or rarely marry or socialise well. Most are unemployable. If they gain employment it's usually unsustainable.
Autism is f
king horrible; if I had to sum it up in two words - 'death sentence'. If you've not experienced life-curtailing problems you're probably not ASD. Remaining calm and emotionally detached from the exchange and seeking to discuss the facts of the matter instead of getting enraged and shouting names at you, which is the sort of treatment you'd likely be getting in another thread for wading in with the tone you have.
I don't think many will agree with your assertion that not experiencing life-curtailing problems means you aren't autistic.
This isn't meant to sound condescending, so please give me the benefit of the doubt and take this sincerely, but you sound like you've been hurt or badly affected by autism in some way?
Why not discuss it more openly with what is likely to be an uncommonly understanding audience? It's not a problem being angry about it, but the people in this thread aren't the place to direct the anger really, it won't improve things, but talking about it may actually improve it, even if just a little bit?
As I say, that was meant sincerely.
I'm waiting on a diagnosis at the moment as my work now fund it as part of our private healthcare. It's not something that I expect to change anything but both of my children are also awaiting assessment and I think it could offer them some comfort that I am similar to them.
FWIW I'm happily married having been with my wife for 18 years and have previously spent 10 years in customer service before moving to Financial Services. I'm now in middle management of one the world's biggest companies and running a team of 8. I find the people side very very difficult at times and further career progression apparently requires "networking" which absolutely terrifies me but people with autism can certainly live a very decent and fulfilling life.
FWIW I'm happily married having been with my wife for 18 years and have previously spent 10 years in customer service before moving to Financial Services. I'm now in middle management of one the world's biggest companies and running a team of 8. I find the people side very very difficult at times and further career progression apparently requires "networking" which absolutely terrifies me but people with autism can certainly live a very decent and fulfilling life.
I think it looks like there's a component. One of my uncles almost certainly was, and I'm pretty sure my dad was too. My other uncle (on the same side) isn't, and my brother isn't. So I don't think it can be purely nurture/environment.
My wife thinks her dad and one brother are.
It does seem to run in families.
My wife thinks her dad and one brother are.
It does seem to run in families.
I recently watched a film on Netflix.
The Accountant.
It paints a stereotypical view of Aspergers.
I feel like I should be offended, on the behalf of anyone living with NueroDiversity. But I also want to recommend it to my sister in law, but not sure how she'd react to it.
As its not a bad film. Its not the best film but it made me laugh too. Maybe too much violence for some.
Foe the record:
I have 2 nephews who are diagnosed with autism, at different ends of the spectrum, one 15 and one 26.
One is doing a PHD and the other struggles to read, but is an amazing comic artist.
I'm pretty sure thier sister is also on the spectrum, and maybe my sister in law too.
My wife's father was very aspergers, but that was when people were described as eccentric etc...
The Accountant.
It paints a stereotypical view of Aspergers.
I feel like I should be offended, on the behalf of anyone living with NueroDiversity. But I also want to recommend it to my sister in law, but not sure how she'd react to it.
As its not a bad film. Its not the best film but it made me laugh too. Maybe too much violence for some.
Foe the record:
I have 2 nephews who are diagnosed with autism, at different ends of the spectrum, one 15 and one 26.
One is doing a PHD and the other struggles to read, but is an amazing comic artist.
I'm pretty sure thier sister is also on the spectrum, and maybe my sister in law too.
My wife's father was very aspergers, but that was when people were described as eccentric etc...
solo2 said:
Can I ask how many of you think Autism is genetic?
I know my opinion but just curious on others. I can google for the internet opinion but what I'm asking is does it run in your families or not.
I think it's genetic, but also, if your parents are autistic, then the early learning of social behaviour will mirror them. Obviously school and work changes this learning. So if you are autistic, having autistic parents may make it more obvious sooner. I know my opinion but just curious on others. I can google for the internet opinion but what I'm asking is does it run in your families or not.
Maybe.
My parents (both dead by the time I was diagnosed) basically gave me a bit of a survival kit, I think - social interactions were set out as a sort of rulebook. I was brought up very "polite", and I think that helped me negotiate the world.
Also I was allowed to be more about hobbies than people. Compared to many experiences of childhood I've heard, I think I had a very autie-friendly upbringing.
Also I was allowed to be more about hobbies than people. Compared to many experiences of childhood I've heard, I think I had a very autie-friendly upbringing.
Once I realised that I was autistic I instantly knew that my mother was as well. I never met her father as he committed suicide so there is a distinct possibility that he was also autistic.
"The accountant" is a trash film but slightly enjoyable. I thought the best bit was the ending where he didn't get the girl and drove off on his own.
"The accountant" is a trash film but slightly enjoyable. I thought the best bit was the ending where he didn't get the girl and drove off on his own.
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