Even though most of mankind may struggle to form a link between a gritty 70s police show and a Nissan Almera GTI this was not a problem for the nineties Nissan marketing team.
I mean, why wouldn’t two cops with questionable morals be driving around in a hot hatch with questionable ride height? I am of course referring to the classic ‘Sweeney’ Almera GTI commercial.
Don’t remember it? Rest assured you are not alone, but one glimpse at the footage will bring it all flooding back. Classic lines such as ‘market!’, ‘stop shouting…I can’t!’ and ‘I said Apple White!’ will live on in the memories of any car fans who watched too much TV in the last decade.
Sadly the Almera’s dull and uninspiring lines are not so memorable. It’s not ugly, it’s just, well, boring. This was a shame because underneath its skin the Almera has a cracking chassis and could scrap away with the best in the handling department.
The 2-litre lump was good for around 140bhp too, which meant a sub-eight second 0-60mph and a top speed of 131mph. Many first generation Almera GTIs came fitted with the optional factory bodykit, which did little more than making the wheels look even smaller, but the other option was to make do with a weedy chin spoiler.
The second generation was an altogether better-looking car, although that’s like saying a Toyota Prius looks altogether better if you drive it into a brick wall.
The GTI came in three-door only and was fairly successful in the UK, and thanks to its ‘subtle’ looks it turned out to be a bit of a street sleeper. It also benefited from the fact that its main competitor, the Golf GTI, had lost the plot somewhat. People still bought the VW, but if you wanted a car that was less show and more go the Almera was worth a look.
Because it is a Nissan it had the added bonus of being reliable and nowadays it is a bit of a performance bargain. The ’99 Almera we have found has the right credentials to make it a good example. It has tax and MOT and is a registered member of the Almera Owners Club no less. Forget image and get a proper performance jam jar for less than a grand…
Autotrader Ad reads: '1999 NISSAN ALMERA 2.0 GTi 3dr Hatchback. 134,000 miles, 1999 GTi Phase II (The better looking one) for sale. MOT 25/06/09, Tax 31/06/09. Driven 50 miles daily to work and back, so ticking over beautifully. Power steering, all electric inside, sunroof, air con (re-gassed in July so ice cold).
'Recently serviced at 133k with all receipts (Alternator Belt, PAS Belt,Coolant Renewal, Oil & Filter Cx,Bosch spark plugs,HT leads,Air Filter,Fuel Filter). CD Player included. Registered member with Almera Owners Club (www.AlmeraOwnersClub.com). Usual Nissan reliability, i.e No faults with this car whatsoever! I'm selling this car because we have recently been given our friend's Golf at a low price so no longer require the Nissan. First to see will buy. £995 ovno.'