When it comes to holidays, Mrs Shed is quite pernickety. Not for her the romantic delights of being poled up the Grand Canal by a brawny Venetian gondolier. She greatly prefers the rustic pleasures of being taken up the Cairngorms in a solidly built and capacious estate car. That way she can take along all the home comforts that remind her of why she's going on holiday in the first place.
Looks like a clean and tidy example
Make of that what you will, but Shed is a gent to the last and always eager to please, so a year or so ago he purchased a relatively low-mileage 2002 Passat Estate 1.9 TDI off eBay.
It was very cheap. So cheap in fact that, even after he had spent £500 fixing its more visible problems, he was still able to turn a profit on the beast when (quite soon afterwards, and under the convenient cover of semi-darkness) it continued its weary stumble through the great cosmic tumble dryer of motoring life.
If this week's SOTW offering had been available at the time of Shed's eBay dalliance, he might well have passed on the oil burner. Passat estates are very practical, not to say almost tedious, but the 2.8 V6 4Motion banishes those blues by marrying the exotic thrill of a large, heavy drinking motor with the problem-solving practicality of all-wheel drive.
The selling site is calling it a Syncro, but as the badge on the behind correctly states, it's a 4Motion with the Haldex electronically-controlled viscous coupling system. Being a range-topper, it comes with a great specification including a very comfortable and supportive set of leather seats. She tips the scales at two tonnes before you've even started loading her up with meat-based products, fizzy drinks and dirty books, so the performance provided by the 193hp VR6 motor is more brisk than bewitching, and surprisingly anaemic below 3,000rpm, but 140mph is available if you can be bothered to wait. Once up there, what self-respecting PHer wouldn't relish maintaining such unfeasible speeds from behind the wheel of something that you'd normally expect to see trundling along a B-road with a Swift Baronette bouncing disconsolately along behind?
Leather-lined luxury, just watch for puddles
As they go, this B5 has a low mileage. There's also a decent amount of MOT and tax. Factor in the apparent brightness of the body, and the price of £975 for one of the last pre-2001 facelifts seems fair, especially as you should be able to beat that down by a hundred at least.
Then again, it could be suspiciously fair. Passats do have lurking problems. The biggest one on Shed's own Estate (and many others) was an electrical nightmare caused by flooding of the passenger compartments front and rear, the result of blown pollen filter seals and/or bunged-up drainage holes under the battery. Not only does this rotten design flaw soak the carpets, it burns out the ECU cleverly located under the front rug, the one that controls 'comfort' functions like lights, indicators, windows and central locking. If the winkers are operating erratically or the windows suddenly refusing to close, or indeed the auto trans seems to be slipping, you've almost certainly got a water-damaged module.
And it's a swine to sort, not so much for the parts as the inconvenience. You might be able to pick up a replacement ECU from the scrapper's for about 50 quid, but it must have exactly the right serial number on it or it won't work. If you can't find a used one, you're at the mercy of VWUK's new parts operation. You could fit it yourself, a straightforward enough job if you don't mind pulling up the carpets and reconnecting quite a few dozen tiny wires, but irrespective of whoever does it, there's no escaping the fact that you've then got to find a way of drying out the carpets. After a week with the dehumidifier on full chat, Shed resorted to bags of granules more commonly used in stables to dry up horse wee. That was followed by a quick blart up the dual carriageway with all the windows down and an industrial-strength air freshener on board, all done just in time for the arrival of the next happy buyer.
Mrs Shed is partial to the Passat's practicality
Electrics generally are fragile on B5 Passats, but on the positive side VR6 cams are spun by chain rather than by belt. There are two of them. The plastic tensioners are the weak point with a realistic service life of 100,000 miles. Given the mileage of this car you'd want to be listening hard for the trademark chattering. Suspension control arms are prone to failure. So are the twin cooling fans, and that's an expensive job.
Assuming everything is tickety-boo though, what have you got? A low-profile, refined, comfy and very accommodating estate that can also pick up its skirts when asked. You'll be lucky to average 25mpg in mixed use, and your road tax will be £225 a year (which is the 'cheap' pre-2001 rate), but with only a couple of hundred of these left in the UK you should be able to unload it fairly swiftly for the same sort of money if you hear that telltale watery squish as you step inside. Just remember to give it the horse wee treatment first.
Volkswagen Passat 2.8 V6 Syncro 4dr Auto Saloon 2000
5 Door Estate, 4 Wheel Drive Blue, Petrol, Automatic, Trip computer, Side airbags, Immobiliser, Front electric windows, Rear electric windows, Heated door mirrors. 5 months MOT, 4 months road tax, full service history, good condition, leather interior, electric windows and mirrors, climate control, 16" alloy wheels, new tyres, ABS braking system, front/passenger airbags, alarm + immobiliser, central locking, CD/radio/cassette, spare wheel. This car is in very good condition for its age. It drives really well with lots of power and good acceleration. £975