After penning a story on the
Toyota Sprint Series
the other day, our Matt made the schoolboy error of admitting to a hankering for the lifestyle of
a track god
. It was therefore an open goal for Editor Dan when this Celica coupe was innocently suggested for Shed of the Week. Surely, proclaimed Dan, there could be no better vehicle for Matt to enter in the Toyota Series?
Champagne Gold paint is sparkling (sorry)
Ever since he was ordered to go out and get this fine specimen bought, Matt has been spending an inordinate amount of time 'on location' or in the office toilet. So, while he dithers, why not get in before him and be the proud owner of the most ironic car on the 2014 TSS grid?
We know it's our second Celica in three weeks, but beyond sharing the name and front-wheel drive, this '86 Mk 4 doesn't have much in common with the '02 Mk 7 we featured three weeks back. Which is only what you'd expect with 16 years and a whole lot of brown having passed between the two.
Coming from an age when brittle plastics were avant-garde, and the only felt-tip car interior designers were allowed to use was Caramac Beige, this week's Shed is a statement car for those who are confident enough in their chromosome count not to worry about the inevitable smirking from the uninitiated.
Brittle, beige and brilliantly 80s
Nobody will expect you to win anything driving this in the Toyota Sprint Series, and they'll be right: after all, it's a long stretch from this lugubrious 1.6 AT160 model to the 190hp ST165 GT-Four that became such an effective world rally weapon. If the WRC car was a Capstan Full Strength, the one you're looking at here would be a herbal cigarette that's been left out in the rain for three weeks.
But it is a manual, and it is a Toyota, so with front-wheel drive you'll be able to understeer your way to TSS oblivion all day long. There are thrills available, even if they are the unexpected sort that will make you glad about the colour of the seat fabric. Watch this fool nearly get it wrong in a contemporary ad.
So, you would be buying it for the irony, but also with one eye on the possibility of shipping it back out to Japan where there is a growing interest in the home industry's earlier products. It may look bland to us now, and to be honest it was when it came out, but that airy glasshouse and clean front end with pop-up lights lend it a certain style, and this model is now extremely rare. With just 53K miles under its wheels and a bleb-free body it could easily tempt an Asian collector.
No LHD overtaking issues here with 85hp...
Or you could simply adopt it as a fuss-free daily driver that's a bit different. If you don't fancy that - and nobody would blame you if you didn't - you could lay it down like a fine wine and wait for your ship to come in. The ship would probably be quicker than the Celica. Even pushing a relatively light 1030kg, the 85hp 8-valver in this car dribbles it from 0-62 in 12 and a bit seconds and a top speed of 108mph.
Such relaxed performance fits nicely with its '80s Dutch provenance, though. You can almost smell the stash in the coin compartment. In Goldmember, Austin Powers' father Michael Caine reckoned there were only two things in life he couldn't stand - people who were intolerant of other peoples' cultures, and the Dutch. Be that as it may, here's the ad. Enjoy the rich whiff of beigeness over a schmoke and a pancake.
1986 (C reg) Toyota Celica ST (1600cc)
53,100 miles (85,475 km at 17.07.2013)
2 door coupe, left hand drive
Petrol, manual drive
Champagne metallic paint
Beige cloth interior (spotless)
Alloy wheels, new-ish tyres
Bought new in Holland, imported into UK in 1989
Garaged and well maintained
MOT and taxed thru April 2014
Working in London so car doesn't get driven