The power of the PH Classified ad was never more clearly demonstrated than this week, when Shed had not one but two likely targets whipped out from under him at the last minute by sharp-eyed buyers. As we speak, the secure Shed telecoms line is being swept for bugs.
You just know this will be comfy
But let us rejoice because, with the possible exception of Shed's marriage, there's a silver lining in every cloud. In this case quite literally in the shape of this rather splendid old Saab 9000 that crept shyly out from behind the arras.
The last 9000 to appear here was a 190,000-mile 9000 Aero, written up by Riggers in April 2012, strongly priced at the full Shedly grand, and bought by the end of the thread by a PHer, hoorah! Two years later, we have this very clean looking 9000 with a documented 94,000 miles and a full service history for £950. Just goes to show. Not sure what though.
Admittedly, this one isn't an Aero, the '93-on bolide which in manual form pushed out 225hp from its high-boost Mitsubishi-turboed 2.3 engine (the autos were turbocharged by Garrett and restricted to 200hp). Today's Shed, built five years into GM's uninspiring stewardship of the company, is a five-door liftback with the smaller 2-litre low-pressure turbo motor.
Strong internals if 150hp isn't enough...
By no means a road shredder with just 150hp (full-pressure cars had 175hp), the titchiest 9000 compensated for it with a sofa-full of soft, useable, lag-free torque and of course no torque steer issues. You could easily bring those into your life if you wanted by way of remapping, a tuning technique to which these cars respond very well. Internals are strong and will take plenty of tweaking.
It's an auto too, which gets you past the rubbery Saab manual even if it does expose you to the vagaries of Swedish slushboxery. If the auto were to go bang on this one, all would not be lost: Shed seems to recall that bolting in a manual box from a 2.0-litre Omega when the original auto exploded on his own much-loved 9000 smoker was a pretty straightforward job.
The 9000's commodious Type 4 body was a joint project between Saab, Fiat, Lancia and Alfa Romeo, an unholy-sounding alliance from the rust point of view. Thankfully however there are no common panels and Saab managed to inject some quality (or perhaps Nikwax) into its 9000.
Nothing says 1990s like a red reflector strip
Considering that it slotted neatly between the Dagenham Dustbins and the posher German tackle of the age, it's illuminating to note the condition of this car, twenty years down the line. Whatever Saab was using for body parts back then, it was good stuff. The shipyard clunk of the central locking system confirms you're in a proper car.
Everyone knows about the flakiness of the Saab Information Displays, so we won't dwell on them. Air con fails, but that's hardly unique to Saab. Windscreen surrounds rot under the rubber. Shed thinks the sump pan might be aluminium, so mind how you go over sleeping policemen. You'll want to have a look in there too to check for the dreaded Saab oil starvation issue caused by blocked sump pickups, though with the full service history in place the expectation is that this will have been sorted.
Apart from that, as a practical design the 9000 stacks up well. The handling and braking won't raise the hairs on the back of your neck but it has FWD for all-year-round bargery, a gargantuan boot, and seats that are among the world's comfiest. There's something hugely cool about the view of a Saab instrument deck through that meaty steering wheel, curious red wood notwithstanding. Steady cruising will return mid-30s mpg figures, and you'll be feeling the call of the Swedish fjords every time you get in it. Or is that the Norwegian fjords? Whatever, by 1997 the somewhat less Scandinavian 9-5 had replaced the 9000, and we will not see its like again.
Not first choice, but a fine Shed nonetheless
Shed was in a nice country pub in Somerset the other day, the Talbot in Mells if you're interested, treating Mrs Shed to a Valentine's Day luncheon. As soon as the noise of her chewing through half a pig's head had died down to a tolerable level, Shed had a conversation with the waiter, who turned out to be a kindred soul. He was (and as far as we know still is) the owner of two lovely classic Saabs, a white flatnose 900 and a 9000 very much like this one, neither of which he had any intention of selling. 'They're keepers,' he shouted over the ghastly slurping noise from the other side of Shed's table (dessert having just arrived). Old Saabs get you like that.
PART EXCHANGE TO CLEAR. SAAB 9000 CSE ECOPOWER 2.0 TURBO 5 DOOR AUTOMATIC. 3 OWNERS FROM NEW, 94000 MILES, FULL SERVICE HISTORY (18 STAMPS). DRIVES WELL.
Only three owners from new, lady owner for past eleven years. Full service history (18 service stamps!) This car has been known to us for ten years and is in generally very good condition throughout and drives well. MOT till September 2014 and short road tax included. Automatic transmission
Power steering
Climate control
Radio Cassette
Alloy wheels
Anti-lock brakes
Front & rear electric windows
Central locking
Cruise control
Heated electric door mirrors
Heated seats
Drivers seat height adjustment
Drivers seat lumbar adjustment
Split folding rear seat
Rear centre armrest
Rear head restraints
Front fog lights
Headlamp wash
Metallic paint
Multifunction computer
Outside temperature display
We check our cars with HPI. CARS CAN BE VIEWED AT OUR OFFICE IN LONDON SW14, OR BY APPOINTMENT IN OXFORDSHIRE OR HERTFORDSHIRE.