"Hi, it's Jenny from Caterham. You're probably not going to like this phone call..."
And so a couple of weeks ago the confirmation that 'my' Caterham will return to the factory just a couple of days after the last race at Silverstone. Given there's not long left and it's been a fair while since the last update, here's what a summer with a Caterham has been like.
In a word, marvellous. Not all of the journeys have been epic B-road blasts, indeed many of them have been highly tedious, but the car has completely and utterly won me over. Some argued early on (and I was inclined to agree sometimes) that the novelty would wear off, that it would be left collecting dust in the PH car park as more comfy seats beckoned. Not a bit of it!
Obvious though it may sound as a statement, the Seven's appeal is its purity. Today arguably more than ever before that's a great USP. How many threads have you seen on PH recently bemoaning active this, assist that and adaptive whatever? Actually, how many editorial pieces have you seen scathing those things? To wriggle into a seat of builder's foam and to know it's just your inputs, 550kg and some skinny little tyres thrashing along the road is a joyous driving experience. And to date the worst mpg figure I've recorded is 24 at a track day. There could be something in this reduced mass, downsizing thing...
... to Hull. And Germany. It's been busy!
Alright, being so tiny is quite intimidating when dicing with normal traffic on A-roads and motorways. But because there's nothing to help you out, because it forces you to pay more attention, you can almost preempt what's going on. Or drop to fourth and scoot past as soon as possible.
There are ways to battle the inevitable fatigue that sets in. Good ear plugs are a must, as are decent in-ear headphones with some suitable entertainment. I like the fact that I first listened to Desert Island Discs driving a Caterham. Buying coffee from garages is a big no-no apart from that one time I fashioned a cup holder between the bags in the passenger seat. You want bottles rather than cans to drink, or the small cold coffees that can go between your legs. To sit in the Caterham isn't that uncomfortable but the pedals do get very warm. If it rains you need a tee-shirt on the seat to prevent getting a wet bum. And a spare pair of shorts (whatever the weather) is useful as being sandwiched between exhaust and transmission tunnel creates an oven in traffic.
It's not been faultless though...
Perhaps as much as the driving, it has been people's reaction to the Caterham that has made the experience so joyful. Everyone wants to know what it is, how fast it is and how much it costs. I'm yet to come across anyone who isn't positive about it, something the small size and cuteness must contribute to. I never have been and never will be as popular at a birthday party.
So where has it been? Many miles must have been put on travelling to events with Blyton Park, Oulton Park and Croft all 400-mile round trips and beyond. But I've also been to Hull (my choice before you ask, I went to university there), to Wales on the way back from Oulton, to home in Ipswich again and then our little weekend in Germany. Caterham gave it to us with 156 miles on March 16 and it will return on October 22 with more than 8,000 on it. The average Caterham owner does 3,000 miles a year and I live two miles from the PH office. Any excuse that could be made for another drive I've used. Going to get fuel, bedding in race boots, taking a few pictures or just for the hell of it. Driving a Seven is an addictive experience and one that I still can't get enough of. Even in the rain.
Probably should be in black and white this one
The blissful summer hasn't quite been drama free. A mix up with the ignition barrel and starter motor meant the latter burnt out and required replacement a few weeks back. And having 5,000 miles with the car
at half throttle
still frustrates a little.
But the overall experience has been overwhelmingly positive and it's those memories that I'll keep. Six hours back from Croft with the roof down, little wiggles off roundabouts that you couldn't do in anything else, heel and toeing into first through town centres, popping the (torn) roof on just before the rain comes. There's a whole lot more but I'm concerned about becoming dull now.
Parting with the Caterham will be a proper wrench. It was always going to be fun but I never thought it would be so beguiling. The driving experience is old-fashioned and uncompromising but one that's so relevant to enthusiasts today. Combine that with apparently universal popularity and tiny running costs and the result is a totally captivating car. My real one will be green with a tad more power and a limited-slip diff but I'll miss the "silly white bath tub" (as my Nan calls it) more than I ever expected. Cheerio Caterham, it's been an absolute blast.
FACT SHEET
Car: 2014 Caterham Academy Seven
Run by: Matt
On fleet since: March 2014
Mileage: 7,975
List price new: Academy package from £21,495, our car £26,335 as tested including £3,000 for factory build, £330 for 'Side Screens only', £300 for Momo quick release wheel and column, £60 for push button start and £1,150 for paint (!).
Last month at a glance: Summer lovin' happened so fast for Matt and the soon-to-depart Caterham
[Karussell pic: Bridge to Gantry]