It's not perfect, neither am I, but it needs me, it needs a proper driver, it requires talent... it's not something for everyone, but it's everything to someone. This is the Jaguar XJ8.
Oh sorry, wrong thread. But while we're on the subject of planks, a key one in the Jaguar proposition has always been to do with bringing sporting luxury within reach of the common(ish) man. The first XJ6 certainly did that in 1968. The current XJ is a considerably larger beast, but even that manages to retain an unlikely-looking sporting edge.
Classy colour combo? Check
Almost smack in the middle of the 46-year spread of post-'68 Jaguar saloons we find this 1998 X308, a car that one year earlier had put the tin lid on the reign of the straight-six Jaguar. Considering the genuinely epic heritage of that engine on both road and track, its passing was an event that passed off with surprisingly little hoopla. That's because large-displacement mainstream engines were fast becoming the equivalent of the drunken uncle crashing your daughter's wedding. A Jaguar engine had changed, from the glorious beating heart of the car to something you didn't mind seeing every now and then, but didn't especially want to hear. It was a powerplant for propelling a vehicle rather than an ego. In fashion terms, the medallion on the hairy chest had given way to a buttoned-up M&S shirt and a nice viscose tie.
You could understand it. Jaguar was still gamely delivering on the marque's double whammy of sportiness and luxury, and all credit to them for that, but in reality owners rarely extended the XJ's performance/handling package. They preferred to ooze. The market had spoken, and it had said that this was a luxury car, not a sporting one.
On that one criterion alone it was hard to fault it. It was even harder to get out of an XJ in a bad mood, unless you'd just broken down of course, which as we all know is something that big Jags do all the time. Isn't it?
That's a lotta luxury for £850
Well, no actually. XJ8s will do big miles if they're looked after. There were a few problems with early (pre-'99 revision) 3.2 linerless V8s like this one - mainly flaky plastic-impeller water pumps, plastic secondary cam chain tensioners and non-actuating throttle bodies - but if the engine in this one is OK (and with a full service history it presumably is), the newer low-sulphur fuels mean you should have no Nikasil-related issues. It may be that the engine on this Shed has been changed for a steel-linered one: a green tag on the head will confirm that. A factory recall should have gathered up and replaced all the dodgy early throttle bodies.
The X308 had a 'sealed for life' gearbox, but as we all know, life doesn't always mean life. Jerky or thumpy drive engagement at higher engine speeds is not what you want. An oil and filter change can sometimes sort things out, but you wouldn't want to bet your house on it.
Rust hits front and rear screen surrounds, rear wheel arches, front wings, around the engine subframe and behind the front shocks. The suspension and braking get a pounding generally, so listen and feel for knocks and wandery braking. Uneven tyre wear is another clue to tired shocks or wishbone bushes. Contrary to popular Jaguar folklore, an X308's electrics are no better or worse than those of any other car of this vintage. There's a socket in the driver's side footwell for modern code-readers.
Check those rear arches for rot
Running costs? Well, it's a luxury car innit, but 16-inch tyres aren't too ruinous at about £100 each. On fuel, you'll get mid-20s cruising, high-teens to low-20s in town, and a letter from the bank manager if you regularly test the low-8sec 0-60 performance.
The one strange thing about XJs is that you will never see a woman or female of the opposite sex behind the wheel. As you'd expect, Shed has owned many XJs, but Mrs Shed has never given the slightest inkling that she might fancy a good hard thrunge in any of them - although it must be said that she has shown a little more interest in the idea since she took up pipe-smoking.
What about this example here? Judging by the sparse ad, it's a probate sale. Three owners, last one for eight years, 123,000 miles, full service history - it all sounds right. Though we're a bit light on decent pictures to prove it, there's every reason to believe this was a loved car that deserves at least one more lap of life's racetrack before making that final turn into the recycling pitbox of destiny.
Spookily, as Shed was contemplating his approach to this article on the way back from the dog walk, a 57-reg XJ in a heavenly shade of deep sky blue glided past. It looked like a £40K car. If it was for sale, you could most likely buy it for £15K. This one is for sale, and it's £0.85K. The maths are easy - but are you man enough?
Lovely condition inside and out. Current owner since 2006, full service history. Bereavement forces sale.