If history is written by the victors, why isn't the Vauxhall Astra GTE Mk2 considered one of the finest hot hatches of all time?
We all talk almost evangelically about how great the Peugeot 205 GTI and VW Golf GTI were but conveniently forget that, back in 1988, both were comprehensively beaten fair and square by the fast Vauxhall.
'Hot hatch king' is how Autocar termed the GTE 16V's victory against its French and German opposition. Car magazine too joined in the praise for the fast Astra, preferring it to not just the Golf GTi 16V but its more expensive turbocharged rivals like the MG Maestro Turbo and Escort RS Turbo.
Ticks all 80s hot hatch requirements!
So why is it today the Astra GTE 16V is relegated to runner-up status in the realms of hot hatch history?
I certainly hadn't forgotten the Astra. It arrived when I was at that impressionable age where power, speed and 0-60 times were things to be memorised and obsessed over - and on Top Trumps stats the GTE 16V ruled. Even in the Cosworth era, a near-160hp, 135mph, affordable Vauxhall hatch sounded ludicrous.
More surprising was how nobody had seen it coming. The regular Mk2 GTE 8V was a dud, a massive disappointment that had inert handling, dead steering and wild lift-off oversteer.
Giving the GTE more power was the last thing it needed. On paper it was a recipe for disaster, a triumph of brute force over bloody ignorance. Luckily for us Vauxhall went ahead anyway and the re-engineering that went into the GTE was astonishing.
The engine, for example, was a work of art. Engineers were said to be obsessed with improving the 2.0-litre's induction system, creating a larger plenum to act as a huge resonating chamber to allow freer breathing.
8v GTE was a stinker - this wasn't
Meanwhile, lightweight forged pistons and hollow cams were both used to reduce inertia. Rumours were that the engine was so under-stressed that the belt driven cams were capable of spinning to a reliable 10,000rpm without capitulating - Vauxhall kept to a more modest 6,800rpm limit.
The attention to detail continued with both the head and inlet manifold polished to help gas flow, boosting low-end torque. To help cooling the exhaust valves were filled with sodium and there was a separate oil cooler to deal with the higher temperatures generated from hard driving. Finally, the very latest Bosch M2.5 system sequential fuel injection was used that only fired when needed for maximum efficiency.
All this at the time made the 20 XE (or 'Red Top' as its known affectionately to Vauxhall fans) sound more like a race engine - which is exactly what it was. Originally the project had started out to underpin GM's motorsport program that had seen Cosworth involved early on in the project.
Vauxhall could have easily stopped there, but it didn't. Engineers decided to cope with the new power and torque it would have to go back to the drawing board with the GTE 16V's chassis.
Obviously this had to feature
That's how the springs for the 16V are an unbelievable 25mm shorter than the regular GTE. Dampers too, were bespoke, while Vauxhall fitted the thickest anti-roll bar it could find and added an extra one at the rear to help deal with those big front to rear weight transitions and keeping it flat through corners.
They didn't stop there. The rear track was widened by a substantial 50mm before adding some negative camber to improve grip and tame the old GTE's propensity for wild slip angles.
Weighing in at just 1,020kg (depending on options) performance was in another league compared to its rivals. Depends where you pick the actual figures from but the 16V's 0-60mph sprint took around 7.5 seconds, while its 135mph was verified on national TV during an episode of Police Camera Action.
So what's it like a quarter of a century later? There's no better car to find out with than H544RYG, Vauxhall's immaculate heritage example.
In the flesh the GTE is glorious in snow white. This car has only covered just 34,000 miles, although the last five or six thousand have been very tough with assorted hacks behind the wheel - not that you could tell. At idle the legendary Red Top idles impeccably without any lumpiness you might have expected from its high output.
An iconic engine with very good reason
The throttle is a revelation. With its scalpel sharp responses it would shame a modern sports car for eagerness. The engine has so much torque from even idle you begin to question if there's actually a couple of extra cylinders under the bonnet. Without any traction control it will spin up its front wheels in first, second and even third - before fourth calms the tidal wave of torque.
Wheelspin, torque steer, lack of grip and that mighty engine dominate the short trip to the first location on some quiet B-roads near to Vauxhall's Luton home. What's so impressive about the 16V is that the engine seems to have it all - blessed with the plentiful low-down torque of an 8V Golf GTI but with the massive top end of an old 16-valve too. It's enough to make a Civic Type R (pick a model, any model) weep.
More importantly, the Astra still feels really fast. Its biggest problem though is putting the power down. Not only is the Astra comically undertyred (185/65 VR14), this car's rubber is age-hardened and cracked. There's more. Such is the difficulty of getting modern performance tyres in old sizes they're energy saving Firestones. No wonder most owners fit either wider 195 tyres, or have given up and fitted bigger 15s.
Teardrop shape instantly familiar
Hopefully fresh tyres will cure some of the deadness in the steering too, but one thing proving entertaining is the smooth rear breakaway - proof of the talented chassis that lurks beneath. But the combination of freezing temperatures and those tyres also create a load of understeer. It's involving, that's for sure.
It's the engine that dominates though. An engine, don't forget, that helped win John Cleland the BTCC in 1989 and the same engine that ended up powering Formula 3 racers, Caterhams and Westfields. Apparently the motorsport guys could turn the wick up to an 'easy' 250hp but today I think 100hp would be enough on these tyres.
Throwing the towel in early we head back with thoughts of a rematch. Modern rubber would surely transform this wonderful car. Perhaps a period group test is in order? Even if the Astra GTE 16V didn't beat the Golf and 205 overall, it'd be fun watching them try to keep up.
VAUXHALL ASTRA GTE 16V
Engine: 1,998cc four-cyl
Transmission: 5-speed manual, front-wheel drive
Power (hp): 158@6,000rpm
Torque (lb ft): 145@4,800rpm
0-62mph: 7.8 seconds
Top speed: 135mph
Weight: 1,021kg
MPG: 33.4 (Autocar road test average)
CO2: N/A
Price: £9,879.48 (1987)
[Sources: Autocar and Car, via Trigger's Road Tests on Flickr]