Do You Like The Mother in Law?
Discussion
Don said:
If you want to see how your wife will turn out. Just take a look at her mother.
Within reason that's bang on. Luckily I'm pretty damn happy on that front.
Unfortunately its true of us blokes too - we turn out not far off our Dads. My Dad is a sterling bloke - but I'll need to work to make sure I don't get his gut when I'm in my sixties/seventies.
Slacker - I surpassed my dad in the beergut stakes by my late teens
Ma belle mere est fantastique! After her second divorce we formally employed her as a childminder - she has the added attribute of being a housework maniac, something that her daughter certainly isn't (working girl, bless 'er, so no complaints).
COMMENT FROM DAUGHTER/WIFE: Aren't you supposed to be talking about things with 4 wheels and a steering wheel??
(Whoops - left computer with text half tapped - back in the kitchen woman and make it snappy!!)
End result, the house has never been so clean and the kids are being looked after by their granny - what better childminder could you wish for?
COMMENT FROM DAUGHTER/WIFE: Aren't you supposed to be talking about things with 4 wheels and a steering wheel??
(Whoops - left computer with text half tapped - back in the kitchen woman and make it snappy!!)
End result, the house has never been so clean and the kids are being looked after by their granny - what better childminder could you wish for?
My dad is only 4 years younger than his mother-in-law, and she's his tenant. They get along great. In fact, she's kind of a bossy lady, but he's the only one she talks to like a peer. The rest of us are subjected constant advice and instruction. She's sort of a mild mannered planning commando.
anonymous said:
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WHOA! What's your problem?? She was extremely close to her husband - they were the only married couple I've ever seen as close and in love as myself and my wife. My father in law died suddenly at 55 (she was mid to late 40's and had 3 other unmarried kids, the youngest aged 10). It devastated my mother in law and wife. They both fell apart, and really needed help to get over a tragedy. My mother in law never worked, never dealt with the family bills, lived in a company house (which they had to leave when my father in law died) never dealt with investment etc. and no longer had a husband, and became severely depressed. She asked me to help... Of course I did, and now the whole family treat me embarressingly well. Subservient?? how about a bit of respect and thought before posting?
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I simply asked a question, I'm not sure why you should react so strongly. The way you described it made it sound as if all the decision making power has been ceded to you. It seems strange to me that the right to take major decisions on her family's behalf is handed over to someone else. The way you wrote about letting you take "monumental decisions" seems somewhat dictatorial, but is obviously a different culture to that I am used to. However, each to their own. If it works for you and her then best of luck.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Ok, may have been an over-reaction. What I meant by 'monumental' was the overwhelming feeling of trust she placed in me. Not that I wanted it, but that someone genuinely trusted me, like they would a son. When someone gives you that amount of respect, you feel a want to honour and protect them.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Now that I understand. My mother died suddenly and tragically while on holiday to celebrate her 65th Birthday. She missed it by 24hrs...
That was in June. Since then I have had to give a lot of support to my father, who has never needed it before. However, I am damn sure I won't let him down when he needs me, because he never failed me.
Best wishes in your role, as it is not an easy one as I am finding out myself. Of course, like yourself, I would never have wanted it.
[quote]
The way you wrote about letting you take "monumental decisions" seems somewhat dictatorial, but is obviously a different culture to that I am used to. [/quote]
And there you have it. The words "dictatorial" and "differnt culture" in once sentance, shows what you think of his culture, or was it a Freudian slip?
His post did not sound in any way "dictatorial" but did sound like he's a guy who cares for his family and his extended family, as if they were his own. His mother in law, rightly or wrongly, did not have a handle on financial matters, so allowing her son in law, who clearly does have a grasp on such things, to provide security for their future, clearly shows how much he is loved and cherished by his mother-in-law.
I don't think love and respect are qualities which are unique to any one "culture" correct me if I am wrong.
The way you wrote about letting you take "monumental decisions" seems somewhat dictatorial, but is obviously a different culture to that I am used to. [/quote]
And there you have it. The words "dictatorial" and "differnt culture" in once sentance, shows what you think of his culture, or was it a Freudian slip?
His post did not sound in any way "dictatorial" but did sound like he's a guy who cares for his family and his extended family, as if they were his own. His mother in law, rightly or wrongly, did not have a handle on financial matters, so allowing her son in law, who clearly does have a grasp on such things, to provide security for their future, clearly shows how much he is loved and cherished by his mother-in-law.
I don't think love and respect are qualities which are unique to any one "culture" correct me if I am wrong.
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