Carol concert - Am I over reacting?
Discussion
If I remember correctly the form for joint parental rights is simple and cheap to file with the court, providing she signs it, well worth having, that way if they do marry, your children wont be seen as a child of that family, if that makes sense.
Have you tried to take this guy out for a beer? Might be worth it, in the interests of seeing what his views are on things, after all if they live together he will be parenting your children, and this should be done in a manner which you are happy with.
Have you tried to take this guy out for a beer? Might be worth it, in the interests of seeing what his views are on things, after all if they live together he will be parenting your children, and this should be done in a manner which you are happy with.
I have tried to get on with him. While things aren't tense, he generally avoids me. From what I can tell he's fine with my kids and they seem to get on with him, so that's ok for now.
Any idea where you can get those forms? I would certainly feel happier with one signed. I don't think it's necessary at the moment, as in fairness, she doesn't try to stop me seeing the kids and the majority of my mates have had it much rougher than I have. I have the girls half the time, can't say fairer than that.
If they get married, which may well happen I would be very keen to have something official in place beforehand. I'm not looking to unnecessarily antagonise things for the sake of it right now though as the better we get on, the better it is for my kids
We've been seperated for about three years now and have managed to avoid any official involvement and the longer I can keep it that way the better it is.
Things could be a lot worse, but it doesn't take much to put my back up. Perhaps it would make sense to get the form done sooner rather than later to put my mind at rest?
I have avoided broaching it thus far, as if things do go wrong I feel it strengthens my position if I can demonstrate that I have done everything possible to be their father.... But that may be a whole other thread
Any idea where you can get those forms? I would certainly feel happier with one signed. I don't think it's necessary at the moment, as in fairness, she doesn't try to stop me seeing the kids and the majority of my mates have had it much rougher than I have. I have the girls half the time, can't say fairer than that.
If they get married, which may well happen I would be very keen to have something official in place beforehand. I'm not looking to unnecessarily antagonise things for the sake of it right now though as the better we get on, the better it is for my kids
We've been seperated for about three years now and have managed to avoid any official involvement and the longer I can keep it that way the better it is.
Things could be a lot worse, but it doesn't take much to put my back up. Perhaps it would make sense to get the form done sooner rather than later to put my mind at rest?
I have avoided broaching it thus far, as if things do go wrong I feel it strengthens my position if I can demonstrate that I have done everything possible to be their father.... But that may be a whole other thread
I'd say you could have one of my tickets Rob ... but I'm going on the Thursday ... 
Ask Miss Pilgrim for one (and a ticket)
And you're right, you've been discussed by the playground collective and they think you did run off with your secretary ...
Seriously, mate ... not sure what to suggest!
Ask Miss Pilgrim for one (and a ticket)
And you're right, you've been discussed by the playground collective and they think you did run off with your secretary ...
Seriously, mate ... not sure what to suggest!
BliarOut said:
Any idea where you can get those forms? I would certainly feel happier with one signed. I don't think it's necessary at the moment, as in fairness, she doesn't try to stop me seeing the kids and the majority of my mates have had it much rougher than I have. I have the girls half the time, can't say fairer than that.
Go to your local county court, the court clerk will tell you which application you need and what the fee is, they can't give you any legal advice but I have found them to be extremely helpful.
You shouldn't need a solicitor, I believe that as you were not married you may not be able to consent to your children having emergency treatment without one of these (although things might have changed and I could be wrong) so it would be in the childrens best interests for your ex to comply with one of these.
Hope this helps.
Miss Pilgrim, is she the one I hope she is??? 
wedge girl said:
You shouldn't need a solicitor, I believe that as you were not married you may not be able to consent to your children having emergency treatment without one of these (although things might have changed and I could be wrong) so it would be in the childrens best interests for your ex to comply with one of these.
Hope this helps.
Thanks for that. Whoops, I always sign for my kids... It usually says parent/guardian, and I am, so I will 
A parental responsibility order is what you are looking for IIRC...
www.compactlaw.co.uk/freeinfo/children/childf7.html
Lots more info here also...
Been there................
Dave
www.compactlaw.co.uk/freeinfo/children/childf7.html
Site says said:
If you are a father, but you are not married to your partner and the children are not living with you then you may not have the right to make important decisions concerning the children. If you want this right then you can apply to the court for an order. This is called a "Parental Responsibility Order".
If you are or were married to your partner then you will already have Parental Responsibility. This means you have a right to be kept informed about your children’s education, health, welfare and you can make decisions about their education, health and welfare.
If you get a Residence Order then you will automatically have Parental Responsibility for a child. Therefore a stepfather or other family relative who gets a residence order will also have Parental Responsibility.
More than one person can have Parental Responsibility for a child.
You may not need to go to court in order to get Parental Responsibility. If you and your partner agree then you can enter into a Parental Responsibility Agreement, this is a type of contract. Your solicitor should be able to give you the Form you will need and help you to complete it.
The Form must be signed by both parents and the parent’s signatures will need to be witnessed by an Officer of the Court or a Magistrate. The Form then has to be sent to the Principal Registry of the High Court. See Addresses & Telephone Numbers.
It will not be an effective agreement until it has been sent to the court and registered there.
Lots more info here also...
Been there................
Dave
Form you want is C(PRA) Parental Responsibility Agreement www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/c(pra)(9.01).pdf (copy everything from http to .pdf into the address)
Take the completed form (one for every child) to a Family Proceedings Court, County Court, or the Principal Registry of the Family Division. A Justice of the Peace, Justices' Clerk or a court official who is authorised by the judge to administer oaths will witness the signatures and sign the certificate of the witness.
You may also want leaflets CB1 (Children and the family courts), CB2 (Filling in the forms) and CB3 (Serving the forms)
www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/cb1leaflet.pdf
www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/cb2leaflet.pdf
www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/cb3leaflet.pdf
Forgot to say thata 2 copies of the completed form then need to be sent to The Principal Registry of the Family Division in London
>> Edited by bigandclever on Thursday 2nd December 13:47
Take the completed form (one for every child) to a Family Proceedings Court, County Court, or the Principal Registry of the Family Division. A Justice of the Peace, Justices' Clerk or a court official who is authorised by the judge to administer oaths will witness the signatures and sign the certificate of the witness.
You may also want leaflets CB1 (Children and the family courts), CB2 (Filling in the forms) and CB3 (Serving the forms)
www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/cb1leaflet.pdf
www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/cb2leaflet.pdf
www.courtservice.gov.uk/cms/media/cb3leaflet.pdf
Forgot to say thata 2 copies of the completed form then need to be sent to The Principal Registry of the Family Division in London
>> Edited by bigandclever on Thursday 2nd December 13:47
Rob
In your first post, you said something about protecting your paternal position. Just want to say that whatever happens, and whoever comes in to their lives, no-one can challenge your paternal position. You're their father on their birth certificate, and you're their Dad in their hearts. No-one else can be their Dad while you're there and loving them. And you aren't going to go away, so anyone else who comes along is something else.
My sister's husband has children from his first marriage. His kids have been fully part of our family since they were quite little (5 & 7)), and they are 19 and 17 now. BUT they only have one Mum and one Dad. Everyone else, partners, extra aunties, uncles and grandparents are just extended family.
Eventually there will be people in your kids' family who aren't in yours. Same goes for your ex when you have a new partner. One day you'll have to negotiate that. Maybe the time wasn't right this time (your ex seems to acknowledge that by backing down so readily) but perhaps another time you could suggest that her b/f comes but there's an agreement to show solidarity for the kids and the other Mummies (no daggers drawn, lots of smiles etc), and a further more important agreement that he takes a back seat when going to congratulate the children for their brilliant performance.
I think my final point is the same as my first one really. What really matters to your kids is that YOU are there. Anyone else is just window dressing. My Dad worked away when I was little, and sometimes mum would let me pick someone else to come. Even if it was someone who was this week's 'favourite grownup', I'd rather have had my Dad there. No-one can take your place mate, don't worry too much.
In your first post, you said something about protecting your paternal position. Just want to say that whatever happens, and whoever comes in to their lives, no-one can challenge your paternal position. You're their father on their birth certificate, and you're their Dad in their hearts. No-one else can be their Dad while you're there and loving them. And you aren't going to go away, so anyone else who comes along is something else.
My sister's husband has children from his first marriage. His kids have been fully part of our family since they were quite little (5 & 7)), and they are 19 and 17 now. BUT they only have one Mum and one Dad. Everyone else, partners, extra aunties, uncles and grandparents are just extended family.
Eventually there will be people in your kids' family who aren't in yours. Same goes for your ex when you have a new partner. One day you'll have to negotiate that. Maybe the time wasn't right this time (your ex seems to acknowledge that by backing down so readily) but perhaps another time you could suggest that her b/f comes but there's an agreement to show solidarity for the kids and the other Mummies (no daggers drawn, lots of smiles etc), and a further more important agreement that he takes a back seat when going to congratulate the children for their brilliant performance.
I think my final point is the same as my first one really. What really matters to your kids is that YOU are there. Anyone else is just window dressing. My Dad worked away when I was little, and sometimes mum would let me pick someone else to come. Even if it was someone who was this week's 'favourite grownup', I'd rather have had my Dad there. No-one can take your place mate, don't worry too much.
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