Funeral Crew. Go on - ask away!

Following my early retirement from the NHS this year I have been working part time at a local, independent Funeral Directors. I am employed to be a driver and bearer.

I'm still learning the ropes so may not know the answer to all the questions.

SD.

A lot of families still want the coffin borne in and we aim to do that wherever possible. We had one man who was just so big that he was taken in on a trolley.

I wouldn't have thought it's the body moving round - it's more likely to be the coffin shifting if the bearers are out of step.

SD.

It depends on the venue. The funeral director will have the relevant capacities for each venue.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic

My condolences on your loss.

SD.

When my aunt's funeral service was held during Covid restrictions, there was a problem with getting the body released. As the funeral/crematorium service had already been organised there was talk from the senior funeral director that an empty coffin might be used for the service. Does this happen often?
I suspect it was an empty coffin, as we didn't receive her ashes till some months later.

It took us 4 weeks and a couple of phone calls to get the ashes.

I was expecting a quicker turnaround. Perhaps they lost them and had to make up the quantity.

Ashes and the distribution thereof seems a bit pointless anyway.

Does it get easier seeing funeral after funeral? I always find it incredibly hard seeing people suffering such immeasurable grief at funerals.

Do you need a coping mechanism to do the job? I imagine there is quite a high level of depression in the industry

No, but we have done a bit of bambi on ice when someone polished the altar steps a few weeks ago.

SD.

HOW BLOODY MUCH???!!!!!

I've decided that my funeral will be a fancy dress do.

Do you get many of those?

I've worn several different colour ties - pink seems to be a very popular colour at present. Families are frequently in football shirts, bright colours etc.

It's not as common now to be buried with jewellery as it was say 20 - 30 years ago. It's part of the checklist we carry out with each funeral - ensuring that families get mementos such as locks of hair, fingerprints or to be laid to rest with a photograph or other object.

SD.

I've thought about starting one if these threads for a while and I'm happy to contribute here. I've worked for an independent funeral directors for over 15 years. Funeral duties as per the OP, but also the collection and preparation of the deceased once they are in our care.

Bearing the coffin on our shoulders is still how we do it where possible, although I believe this varies across the country. Weight is an issue. Empty coffins on their own weigh from around 30Kg, solid wood coffins can easily be >60Kg and American style caskets around 100Kg. With a normal adult being an additional 80-100Kg it's something we need to be carefull with. There does come a point where using a coffin bier/trolley and extra staff is the only real option.

I have never known of an empty coffin being used for a funeral, but it may have happened elsewhere. If the deceased's body hasn't been released by the coronors office there is the option of holding a memorial service, without the coffin, and having the burial/cremation at a later date. If its just the official paperwork that has been delayed we would be able to hold the funeral service as normal but, with the families knowledge, bring the deceased back into our care after the service and have the cremation or burial at a later date.

The actual cremation is usually completed on the day of the service, but there may be circumstances where this is delayed to the next day. The ashes should be available for collection the next day. I don't know why it would have taken 4 weeks unless there was a miscommunication, other arrangement in place.