Funeral Crew. Go on - ask away!
Discussion
A friend's dad was a funeral director. After a few drinks he would tell some great stories...
(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.
And, as you can imagine there are hundreds of these between (?) Kent and Trowbridge (Wilts). So, as a favour ..... on the QT....... bodies would be moved without (legal) authorisation - and the payment of parish fees.
And funeral directors have a subtle vehicle especially for this very purpose:
John's dad used a dark blue Merceds W123 Estate, c/w privacy glass to transport deceased bodies - only using a hearse for actual funerals.
He was driving back from Kent, on the M25, and got pulled over for speeding.
There were two coppers in the car. An older, experienced sergeant and a 'full of piss and wind', over-keen youngster. The sergeant just sat in the traffic car (it was raining), whilst the pc did the ticketing.
"Good Evening, Sir. Or should I say Good Evening, Mr Mansell!" - " Do you know what speed I recorded you doing, etc, etc?"
After a telling off, the policeman 'walked around the car' - checking the tax disc/registration plates matched etc
He asked John's dad what was in the (blacked out) back of the estate.
John's dad "A body....."
"Ho, Ho Sir ....Would you mind opening the tailgate"
Which John's dad did - a long estate car floor containing nothing other than what was obviously a body bag
"Would you mind opening this, Sir"
John's dad obliged
The pc just fainted. And John's dad, and the sergeant (who was laughing his socks off) had to drag the pc off the hard shoulder by his ankles.
Strangely, John's dad never received a NIP....
(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.
And, as you can imagine there are hundreds of these between (?) Kent and Trowbridge (Wilts). So, as a favour ..... on the QT....... bodies would be moved without (legal) authorisation - and the payment of parish fees.
And funeral directors have a subtle vehicle especially for this very purpose:
John's dad used a dark blue Merceds W123 Estate, c/w privacy glass to transport deceased bodies - only using a hearse for actual funerals.
He was driving back from Kent, on the M25, and got pulled over for speeding.
There were two coppers in the car. An older, experienced sergeant and a 'full of piss and wind', over-keen youngster. The sergeant just sat in the traffic car (it was raining), whilst the pc did the ticketing.
"Good Evening, Sir. Or should I say Good Evening, Mr Mansell!" - " Do you know what speed I recorded you doing, etc, etc?"
After a telling off, the policeman 'walked around the car' - checking the tax disc/registration plates matched etc
He asked John's dad what was in the (blacked out) back of the estate.
John's dad "A body....."
"Ho, Ho Sir ....Would you mind opening the tailgate"
Which John's dad did - a long estate car floor containing nothing other than what was obviously a body bag
"Would you mind opening this, Sir"
John's dad obliged
The pc just fainted. And John's dad, and the sergeant (who was laughing his socks off) had to drag the pc off the hard shoulder by his ankles.
Strangely, John's dad never received a NIP....
Edited by alfaspecial on Wednesday 2nd March 08:35
Edited by alfaspecial on Wednesday 2nd March 08:36
alfaspecial said:
A friend's dad was a funeral director. After a few drinks he would tell some great stories...
(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.
And, as you can imagine there are hundreds of these between (?) Kent and Trowbridge (Wilts). So, as a favour ..... on the QT....... bodies would be moved without (legal) authorisation - and the payment of parish fees.
And funeral directors have a subtle vehicle especially for this very purpose:
John's dad used a dark blue Merceds W123 Estate, c/w privacy glass to transport deceased bodies - only using a hearse for actual funerals.
He was driving back from Kent, on the M25, and got pulled over for speeding.
There were two coppers in the car. An older, experienced sergeant and a 'full of piss and wind', over-keen youngster. The sergeant just sat in the traffic car (it was raining), whilst the pc did the ticketing.
"Good Evening, Sir. Or should I say Good Evening, Mr Mansell!" - " Do you know what speed I recorded you doing, etc, etc?"
After a telling off, the policeman 'walked around the car' - checking the tax disc/registration plates matched etc
He asked John's dad what was in the (blacked out) back of the estate.
John's dad "A body....."
"Ho, Ho Sir ....Would you mind opening the tailgate"
Which John's dad did - a long estate car floor containing nothing other than what was obviously a body bag
"Would you mind opening this, Sir"
John's dad obliged
The pc just fainted. And John's dad, and the sergeant (who was laughing his socks off) had to drag the pc off the hard shoulder by his ankles.
Strangely, John's dad never received a NIP....
I had a not dissimilar experience in the early 90's. I was the duty Sgt that morning and a report of a sudden death came through. One of my cops, Gary, went to it. After about 10 mins I got a message over the radio asking if I could attend as Gary needed some advice on how to proceed, which I thought odd as Gary was a solid, reliable ex Army JNCO and could usually sort pretty much anything. (This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.
And, as you can imagine there are hundreds of these between (?) Kent and Trowbridge (Wilts). So, as a favour ..... on the QT....... bodies would be moved without (legal) authorisation - and the payment of parish fees.
And funeral directors have a subtle vehicle especially for this very purpose:
John's dad used a dark blue Merceds W123 Estate, c/w privacy glass to transport deceased bodies - only using a hearse for actual funerals.
He was driving back from Kent, on the M25, and got pulled over for speeding.
There were two coppers in the car. An older, experienced sergeant and a 'full of piss and wind', over-keen youngster. The sergeant just sat in the traffic car (it was raining), whilst the pc did the ticketing.
"Good Evening, Sir. Or should I say Good Evening, Mr Mansell!" - " Do you know what speed I recorded you doing, etc, etc?"
After a telling off, the policeman 'walked around the car' - checking the tax disc/registration plates matched etc
He asked John's dad what was in the (blacked out) back of the estate.
John's dad "A body....."
"Ho, Ho Sir ....Would you mind opening the tailgate"
Which John's dad did - a long estate car floor containing nothing other than what was obviously a body bag
"Would you mind opening this, Sir"
John's dad obliged
The pc just fainted. And John's dad, and the sergeant (who was laughing his socks off) had to drag the pc off the hard shoulder by his ankles.
Strangely, John's dad never received a NIP....
Just before I got in my car he shouted up again asking me to bring the Polaroid....
I arrive and go to walk into the house, Gary meets me at the door and says not in here Sarge..... he then points to a camper van parked outside.
The deceased, a lady in her late 70's was in the bed in the camper van, ok , not an issue until Gary drops out that she actually died in North Wales and we were a long way away from there.
We went to spoke to the husband, he explained that they spent the majority of their lives touring the UK and Europe in the camper, but had a pact that if one of them died whilst on the road, the other would get them home safely.
Cue a phone call to our Coroner, a very helpful chap. I explained the problem to him, gave a few details as to the route they'd taken coming home and he said to carry on as normal and he'd sort it and that the family never need know what we were doing to sort this out as the last thing that he or we wanted was for the widower to feel he'd done something wrong.
Back to the nick to sort out the report only receive an email from the coroner a couple of hours later with a document bearing series of permissions to cross a Coroner's boundary with remains, all signed and sorted.
Our then Coroner was an absolute gentleman.
alfaspecial said:
A friend's dad was a funeral director. After a few drinks he would tell some great stories...
(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.............................................................................................................
When did that change?(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.............................................................................................................
Dr Jekyll said:
alfaspecial said:
A friend's dad was a funeral director. After a few drinks he would tell some great stories...
(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.............................................................................................................
When did that change?(This was the 1980's)
A friend of his had a relative die in Kent and the family wanted the body buried (next to his wife's grave) in Wiltshire.
Problem was that the rules on the transport of bodies were onerous. You had to get authorisation and pay a fee every time a body was transported over a parish border.............................................................................................................
https://www.lawcom.gov.uk/app/uploads/2015/03/Lega...
Quote "It is illegal to move a body
across a parish or county
boundary unless a fee is paid
and a coffin is used?
Answer
The body of a baby, child or adult
may be moved anywhere within
England and Wales, without using a
coffin and without charge or
permission, as long as the work of the
coroner is not obstructed. A coroner
must, however, consent before the
body can be taken out of England
and Wales. The belief that fees must
be paid on crossing boundaries
probably derives from the payment
of tolls on old turnpike roads. Bodies
do not magically create rights of way
over private land
End Quote
If interested (!) visit https://evansaboveonline.co.uk/after-death/transpo...
From what I understand, back in the middle ages, you wouldn't want folks transporting petrifying bodies around the country. Particularly (say) in times of plague etc, so I suppose corpse transport taxes acted as both an earner for parishes (and counties) and a discouragement.
Hence I suppose the notion that the taxman will want his pound of flesh (even after death)!
Nelson's body was famously transported back from Trafalgar in a barrel of brandy.
Olderandwiser22 said:
What steps are involved in encoffining?
Sounds fascinating…
It's simply the act of placing the deceased into the dressed coffin. A lateral transfer from the (usually) stainless steel tray into the coffin. The deceased is dressed whilst on the tray and then placed into the coffin. They are then positioned to appear central and natural within the coffin. This can be quite difficult with very large (and heavy) people especially if the coffin is very deep.Sounds fascinating…
SD.
shed driver said:
On board HMS Pickle, hence the expression "to be pickled" meaning to be drunk.
SD.
After this, drinking to his memory became known as 'tapping the admiral'. Legend has it that while en route to Gibraltar the crew of the HMS Victory tapped the barrel (of brandy) and would draw brandy through macaroni straws, to toast the Admiral. This is the origin of the term 'tapping the Admiral'.SD.
Not so much a question, but a statement here.
Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
cmvtec said:
Not so much a question, but a statement here.
Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
Sorry to hear that. It's possible that the funeral director's own cars are off the road and these were hired in at short notice.Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
Look at their website to see if they have pictures of their cars.
SD.
dirky dirk said:
I’d like to know the bit after your bit?
The cremation. What happens once the curtains closed
Easy oneThe cremation. What happens once the curtains closed
Curtains close, coffin and contents descend a short lift shaft normally. Authority to burn from coroner will be in place (and checked) coffin and contents enters one of the oven/s pretty much immediately. Burn for prescribed length of time (dependant on tumours and metalwork in body etc). Purge of oven on completion (you get the correct ashes).
Flowers are normally placed outside somewhere discrete, large closed box etc.
Next one down, repeat.
cmvtec said:
Not so much a question, but a statement here.
Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
Where my better half works the cars are kept pristine, cleaned before each funeral, and as soon as they are marked in any way they are repaired, and being a very rural funeral directors they do get damaged in the narrow country lanes more often than they should. Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
shed driver said:
cmvtec said:
Not so much a question, but a statement here.
Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
Sorry to hear that. It's possible that the funeral director's own cars are off the road and these were hired in at short notice.Was recently my Grandma's funeral. Every time I've been involved in funerals, or even attended them, the funeral cars have been immaculate. This time, the hearse and limousine were rough at best, the hearse had rust visible on it and the limo had been bashed about.
I've not mentioned it to my father, but considering the whole family chipped in a considerable amount of money, I feel a bit ripped off (not just in this aspect, though).
I can't imagine many people are up to complaining, so they get away with it? The cars were both early W210 Mercedes, and looked their age. When we got to the crematorium, which is a busy one, there were several other vehicles from other directors, and ours looked decidedly shabby.
Look at their website to see if they have pictures of their cars.
SD.
ARHarh said:
Where my better half works the cars are kept pristine, cleaned before each funeral, and as soon as they are marked in any way they are repaired, and being a very rural funeral directors they do get damaged in the narrow country lanes more often than they should.
This is how I always have seen funeral cars. These were clean but not polished, had bits of damage and rust visible right in the centre of the sill on the hearse.I have mentioned to my other half, and in the grand scheme of things it isn't that important, but when you're paying nearly five figures for funeral arrangements you'd expect better.
cmvtec said:
I have mentioned to my other half, and in the grand scheme of things it isn't that important, but when you're paying nearly five figures for funeral arrangements you'd expect better.
Best part of ten grand for a funeral!What were you doing?
You can get a cremation at Hanworth for three hundred odd pounds.
ARHarh said:
Where my better half works the cars are kept pristine, cleaned before each funeral, and as soon as they are marked in any way they are repaired, and being a very rural funeral directors they do get damaged in the narrow country lanes more often than they should.
Shropshire. Rural… Aubrey Kirkham by any chance? thisnameistaken said:
ARHarh said:
Where my better half works the cars are kept pristine, cleaned before each funeral, and as soon as they are marked in any way they are repaired, and being a very rural funeral directors they do get damaged in the narrow country lanes more often than they should.
Shropshire. Rural… Aubrey Kirkham by any chance? Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff