Funeral Crew. Go on - ask away!

Ah I know them too.

Metaphorical extra 5 minutes on 600degrees to make sure it has all gone and incinerated?

Well, you don't seem excessively bothered at paying the best part of £10K for a funersl, so why should I be?

However I would still be interested in seeing the breakdown, if only approximate - sorry!

Not a question but an interesting story that's 100% true.

There was once an outlaw who was so bad at crime that he always wound up making a loss. In March 1911, this chap, Elmer McCurdy, boarded a train, intent on cracking the safe on board and stealing the $4,000 worth of silver coin inside. Using far too much dynamite, he managed to weld all the coins together into an immovable lump. When the train arrived in Kansas City, Elmer and friends ran away...with just an ill-gotten $450.

Come the following October, Elmer found himself shouting. "You'll never take me alive!" to a Sheriff's posse near Pawhuska. Oklahoma. Obligingly, they shot him dead. He was taken to Pawhuska and put in a wicker coffin...



At TheJohnson Funeral Home, where the posse identified the body, the undertaker decided he'd have to keep the unclaimed body for while so he got to work embalming it. Six months later, nobody had come forward for Elmer. He was put on show in a standing position as, The Embalmed Bandit.' He was dressed in the clothes he'd worn when killed and 'given' a rifle. He stood there for five years.
In 1916, two men, who ran a street carnival conned the body out of the undertaker and Elmer went on the road, until 1976! He crossed and recrossed the USA appearing variously as,among other things, 'The 1,000 Year Old Man'. Not bad at 60 years post mortem!

In 1976, filming of an epsiode of 'The Six Million Dollar Man' was in progress.During setting up, a teamster (movie roadie) spotted a figure hanging in the ghost train-type ride that was the location...
Curious, the teamster tried moving one of the figure's arms. It snapped off and bones inside revealed that this was no stuffed dummy in Dayglo paint. Yes, it was Elmer. A post mortem examination was carried out...



This led to the discovery of two ironies in Elmer's story. Inside, his throat, they found a 1924 penny and ticket stubs marked, 'Louis Sonney's Museum of Crime, 521 S. Main Street, Los Angeles'. This led to further investigation that showed that from his death at age 31, Elmer's new career had lasted 65 years, 6 months and 16 days. During this time, he 'earned' far more than he ever stole.

There's a happy ending of sorts. Elmer was given a great send off...



Elmer's remains were taken to the Smith Funeral Home in Guthrie, Oklahoma,from which he was transported, by car, and placed in the black, glass-sided hearse. The funeral procession, which included only horse-drawn vehicles and horseback riders, made its way to the cemetery, with dignity and a sombre style.
He was laid to rest in the Boot Hill section of Summit View Cemetery, Guthrie . In the plot by the side of Elmer's plot lies none other than Bill Doolan, the outlaw whose waxwork was displayed with Elmer's body in the 'Museum of Crime'
A single red rose was dropped on Elmer's coffin; symbolic handfuls of earth were cast into the grave. These were followed by two-and-a-half cubic yards of concrete, poured from a Dolese cement lorry. In accordance with the State Medical Examiner's orders, Elmer would never be disturbed again.

I suspect this last was not so much about subsequent disturbances as public safety

The remaining irony is that the undertaker had embalmed Elmer by using arsenic so it's conceivable he damaged quite a few sideshow cutomers.

If I’m not in fact dead, perhaps was just a very deep coma, what is the appropriate etiquette?

At which point should I knock on the inside of the lid?

Is it considered rude to shout out during the actual ceremony?

Should I wait until its just the professional service providers (such as yourself) can hear my cries?

Or best just to keep quiet and accept one’s fate rather than cause a fuss and the related distress, embarrassment etc.etc…?

Professional advice please.

Bringing back an old thread to ask - what licence is needed to drive a hearse or funeral limousine?

I am considering a possible change of career at the moment and funeral work is something I am interested in. I need to know driving requirements from those in the know if possible, as a medical issue may prevent me adding extra categories to my car licence. Many thanks if anyone can help.

Normal car licence. Some firms won't entertain you if you have more than three points or a spent drink or dangerous driving conviction.

SD.

How many times do you say "My condolences for your loss" a day and do you actually really mean it?

Pistonheads - Signatures Matter.

TX.

I put a sign on my posts as a throwback to bulletin boards and very early fora. O/T but does anyone remember the days of graphical signatures? Loads of animated gifts making pages take an age to load up on 56K dial up?

SD.