Funeral Crew. Go on - ask away!
Discussion
shed driver said:
Randy Winkman said:
Do dead people get injected with chemicals to stop them going mouldy before the funeral? And that's a genuine question, by the way.
Yes, a solution of Formalin.https://www.funeralpartners.co.uk/help-advice/arra...
SD.
The jiffle king said:
A few questions:
1) Whats the most common song/hymn that you hear?
1) Whats the most common song/hymn that you hear?
There's a lot of Frank Sinatra, etc.
quote=The jiffle king]
2) Any unusual songs ? e.g. Living in a box
Fire, by the crazy world of Arthur Brown will usually raise a smile, although Smoke on the Water was a new one last week.
quote=The jiffle king]
3) Any funerals where more than 1 partner has turned up? (seen it in the movies)
It happens a lot, mostly everyone is grown up, but there have been some sad times where a parent is sat at the back, away from the rest of the mourners.
4) Do you get invited to the wake often?
5) Do people turn up plastered regularly?
6) any odd dress codes for the mourners?
7) We've all been to funerals but going to a child's was one of the worst experiences of my life and one I wish to never repeat. Does something like this affect the professionals?
Very often a bit of liquid courage is taken before, sometimes until they can hardly stand. It makes for a really sad state of affairs seeing people staggering in to the service.
Football shirts are common,.
Thankfully I've not done a young child, but there's something sad about seeing an elderly parent alone who is burying a middle aged child.
SD.
Radec said:
Anyone ever cut in the middle of procession cars while driving like Simon from the Inbetweeners.
My BiL passed away earlier this year. He worked as a recovery driver so most of the other drivers turned up for the procession with their HGV rigs, so it was easy to see them all the way to the crem. As the A4 is a nightmare at the best of times the hearse took the A308 via Windsor, at hearse-pace all the way, thus causing the most ridiculous line of traffic with the rigs interspersed at various places along it (due to people cutting in).BiL would have been chuffed to bits at the traffic chaos he caused
gottans said:
How many times has the crematorium been double booked?
The funeral directors we used for my Mum were very careful with the booking, even reading it back to confirm, etc and the slot still got doubled booked.
Wondering how common it is for this to get screwed up.
How did they decide who was going to get the slot? bit of rock/ paper/ scissors on the day?? The funeral directors we used for my Mum were very careful with the booking, even reading it back to confirm, etc and the slot still got doubled booked.
Wondering how common it is for this to get screwed up.
(hope this isn't in bad taste, please let me know if you want the post removed?)My mother was a GP for 40 years, starting in the early 60s when it was still the form for GPs to attend their patients funerals. As such she had attended literally hundreds of funerals and was known for a seemingly inexhaustible supply of humourous funeral anecdotes.
That being the case, we were all slightly disappointed for her when her own funeral last month went off without a hitch
That being the case, we were all slightly disappointed for her when her own funeral last month went off without a hitch
nordboy said:
gottans said:
How many times has the crematorium been double booked?
The funeral directors we used for my Mum were very careful with the booking, even reading it back to confirm, etc and the slot still got doubled booked.
Wondering how common it is for this to get screwed up.
How did they decide who was going to get the slot? bit of rock/ paper/ scissors on the day?? The funeral directors we used for my Mum were very careful with the booking, even reading it back to confirm, etc and the slot still got doubled booked.
Wondering how common it is for this to get screwed up.
(hope this isn't in bad taste, please let me know if you want the post removed?)Still at least 'elf 'n' safety didn't cause any issues with this one, my uncle's service was all going to plan until the Minister pressed the button to start the last journey and nothing happened. A few more clicks of the button and still nothing moving, he managed to catch my eye and somehow communicated 'get people moving' to get people to leave so they could fix the problem.
Appararently after having a safety inspection, the power not been turned back on, muppets.
I've posted this before but as it's such a memorable anecdote,here goes again.
Uncle Ernest, the family black sheep, fell off his perch in the early '70s
so the family booked the send off at Stockport crem. Come the day, I took
Mum to the crem in my brother's TR6, complete with hood down and a
very vocal SAH exhaust. It was OK to drive into the crem grounds...Ernest
would've liked the audio track!
There was some sort of delay, so I got chatting to the crem operator. I asked him if there was an oven directly behind the curtained door where the coffin goes. He told me that there was just one oven but from the doorway, the coffins were rolled onto a rotating rack arrangement to queue. It was called the carousel.
After the service, one lot of grey smoke issued from the chimney and I knew Ernest was on next. Just as the heat shimmer and wisps of smoke started, the chimes of an ice cream van could be heard, loudly, from the housing estate bordering the crem. The tune? 'The Magic Roundabout'. I like to think that Ernest was behind that.
Uncle Ernest, the family black sheep, fell off his perch in the early '70s
so the family booked the send off at Stockport crem. Come the day, I took
Mum to the crem in my brother's TR6, complete with hood down and a
very vocal SAH exhaust. It was OK to drive into the crem grounds...Ernest
would've liked the audio track!
There was some sort of delay, so I got chatting to the crem operator. I asked him if there was an oven directly behind the curtained door where the coffin goes. He told me that there was just one oven but from the doorway, the coffins were rolled onto a rotating rack arrangement to queue. It was called the carousel.
After the service, one lot of grey smoke issued from the chimney and I knew Ernest was on next. Just as the heat shimmer and wisps of smoke started, the chimes of an ice cream van could be heard, loudly, from the housing estate bordering the crem. The tune? 'The Magic Roundabout'. I like to think that Ernest was behind that.
nordboy said:
gottans said:
How many times has the crematorium been double booked?
The funeral directors we used for my Mum were very careful with the booking, even reading it back to confirm, etc and the slot still got doubled booked.
Wondering how common it is for this to get screwed up.
How did they decide who was going to get the slot? bit of rock/ paper/ scissors on the day?? The funeral directors we used for my Mum were very careful with the booking, even reading it back to confirm, etc and the slot still got doubled booked.
Wondering how common it is for this to get screwed up.
(hope this isn't in bad taste, please let me know if you want the post removed?)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mal_A4Op6mE
HTH
Jasandjules said:
The jiffle king said:
2) Any unusual songs ? e.g. Living in a box
My uncle had Road To Hell.......... The funeral director felt he had to comment before letting it play.... And yes, it was a crem.............. shed driver said:
Following my early retirement from the NHS this year I have been working part time at a local, independent Funeral Directors. I am employed to be a driver and bearer.
I'm still learning the ropes so may not know the answer to all the questions.
SD.
Some 3 or 4 years ago, I answered an ad to be a funeral worker. I am a long time retired, just looking to fill up the week and earn a few quid.I'm still learning the ropes so may not know the answer to all the questions.
SD.
Sent to my first funeral, I was asked if I had done it before, told the truth, they said you can't carry the coffin until you've been trained. A few days later I went to the company training centre and I and a few others, were walking round and round this huge depot/garage with a weighted coffin on our shoulders. I had not long had surgery on one shoulder and it was too painful to continue.
So that was the end of my undertaking career. Shame, because we got a minimum of (I think) £35 and that could be for just carrying the coffin from the hearse into the crematorium chapel - about 10 minutes work.
I got paid for the funeral and the training!
I was told that there was a maximum weight that was carried on the shoulders, anything over that went on a trolley.
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