Dealing with stress and anxiety
Discussion
Hi All,
I'm a long-standing PH member and using a new account just as I wanted some anonymity.
I'm having some real issues with anxiety and stress. I always have I think but as I am turning 40 this year, I am more and more concerned about my long term health. I can feel an early grave coming on if I don't find a way to chill out.
I've noticed the following things:
I exercise, have a mostly decent home life, no money issues, etc. I don't sleep well but never have really.
Symptoms
Thanks all
I'm a long-standing PH member and using a new account just as I wanted some anonymity.
I'm having some real issues with anxiety and stress. I always have I think but as I am turning 40 this year, I am more and more concerned about my long term health. I can feel an early grave coming on if I don't find a way to chill out.
I've noticed the following things:
- It's often when things are out of my control
- Most of the time things aren't even that bad objectively, in fact it's pretty light but due to no control it's hard to relax
- It's also made more intense when there are lots of things all at once, many of which depend on each other and again it's hard to plan/relax
I exercise, have a mostly decent home life, no money issues, etc. I don't sleep well but never have really.
Symptoms
- Shoulders up by my ears very tense and actually a bit painful
- Breathing is heavier and also quicker
- Bit shakey
- Irritable and very moody
- Edgy
- Hard to concentrate and relax in general
Thanks all
Edited by ItIsPrivate on Wednesday 3rd January 09:53
Squadrone Rosso said:
If you’re able, do something physical in the fresh air.
Thank you - I am doing a lot more exercise in the last 1-2 months and really enjoying it. Rejoined my running club, starting turbo sessions and walking more. That is helping. Thanks again for the advice
Sporky said:
and suggesting I try a couple of online tests for autism. I'm not saying you are, but there are familiar things in what you've posted (and poor sleep is quite common). The RAADS-R is a good place to start if you want, but I may be adding 1 and 1 and getting 7.
Best of luck; I hope at least some of this is helpful, even if it's just "it's not just you".
Thanks for all the advice, really helpful, especially with the things that didn't work and the way you've started to identify it at an earlier stage to start to deal with it.Best of luck; I hope at least some of this is helpful, even if it's just "it's not just you".
I don't know if it's possible but I feel I've got more autistic over the years. I worked in the emergency services for years and was very resillient, dealing with lots of things and enjoying it. No trauma or anything like that.
Anyway, I've noticed I do have some unusual quirks:
- Really hate being sat in between lots of people. Like if there is a table of people, I would always feel 100x more relaxed on the end rather than in the middle of a big row.
- Noise - if there are 10 converations on going around it me it sets me on edge. Similarly, I once went to a theme park and the sound of lots of kids screaming really made me tense up.
- If you met me you'd think I'm a nice guy, sociable, good laugh etc. I am but there is also a point where I get really "tired" in company. Like if I was with some people it's fine for an hour. But if I was with them for an entire day, or two days, then it will really get hard to keep energy levels up. I just get worn down by it.
Hi All,
Sorry for not replying sooner. As this is a new account there is a limit of 5 posts in the first 24 hours, so I had to wait until now to reply.
Some amazing replies and extremely helpful. I will be checking out the two books mentioned here, plus the Podcast, and the Toaism philisophy. They all sound really useful.
Extra stuff
I said in my OP that most of the time my stress is caused by things outside my control. It's not that I am busy... in fact when I am extremely busy in work, I excel and thrive on it. I am stressed but in a good/productive way.
My issue appears to be anxiety over "hypothetical" things.
I posted a second thread on this forum in the Job section about a work project. This is the kind of thing that really stresses me out. I work in a global company, so sometimes feel on edge about what I am going to wake up to as others have been working during the night.
I will often wake up, check and find nothing of concern at all - once again proof of worrying over nothing.
I often make up imaginary scenarios and then getting worked up over it.
This is only sometimes, about 70-80% of the time things are fine and normal.
Will re-read all replies - but just wanted to reply quickly whilst I have a few minutes this morning.
Sorry for not replying sooner. As this is a new account there is a limit of 5 posts in the first 24 hours, so I had to wait until now to reply.
Some amazing replies and extremely helpful. I will be checking out the two books mentioned here, plus the Podcast, and the Toaism philisophy. They all sound really useful.
fridaypassion said:
I suffered absolutely debilitating anxiety as a young man I was actually quite ill when I look back 25 years later but I have come through it.
<SNIP>
Best of luck OP please stay positive though!
Thank you for such a long, detailed and helpful post. The water in a glass analogy sounds a great way to think about it - we all have limits and the water can get to dangerously high levels so it is useful to see it approaching to then take action. <SNIP>
Best of luck OP please stay positive though!
Extra stuff
I said in my OP that most of the time my stress is caused by things outside my control. It's not that I am busy... in fact when I am extremely busy in work, I excel and thrive on it. I am stressed but in a good/productive way.
My issue appears to be anxiety over "hypothetical" things.
I posted a second thread on this forum in the Job section about a work project. This is the kind of thing that really stresses me out. I work in a global company, so sometimes feel on edge about what I am going to wake up to as others have been working during the night.
I will often wake up, check and find nothing of concern at all - once again proof of worrying over nothing.
I often make up imaginary scenarios and then getting worked up over it.
This is only sometimes, about 70-80% of the time things are fine and normal.
Will re-read all replies - but just wanted to reply quickly whilst I have a few minutes this morning.
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