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VinceFox
14,196 posts
41 months
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Dont know about the dead by fifty thing, exactly but one feeling that might be a little similar is something i've been getting quite frequently in the last few years.
I often feel as though i've been alive longer than i was supposed to. Felt it for the last three or four years now, like ive done everything i was meant to. And now im sort of treading water so i dont upset family by popping off. I cant be the only one, surely?
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GTIR
19,077 posts
135 months
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Wattsie
1,133 posts
70 months
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VinceFox said: Dont know about the dead by fifty thing, exactly but one feeling that might be a little similar is something i've been getting quite frequently in the last few years.
I often feel as though i've been alive longer than i was supposed to. Felt it for the last three or four years now, like ive done everything i was meant to. And now im sort of treading water so i dont upset family by popping off. I cant be the only one, surely? Well I often talk about stuff I want to do in the next ten years with "assuming I don't get hit by a bus or something". On outstaying your welcome, one could argue that we're all on borrowed time in some sense or another - the time a tree fell where you just were, that time you crashed a car narrowly avoiding taking a 40mph fence post to the face, the time you slipped by the edge of a cliff but caught yourself in time, the time you got to hospital with appendicitus/blood clot/etc hours before it'd have been too late? OPs mate is atleast living it to the full before the inevitable happens.
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marcosgt
6,197 posts
45 months
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He could have lived in a s  tty house in a London overspill town, mowed his lawn, washed his car, taken the wife shopping in town on Saturdays and ended up with no-one except his Mum loving him. Doesn't sound too bad - Grass is always greener - Many would envy his life and what's right and done for many isn't for everyone. Of course, when the young girls just want you for your cash or, worse, laugh at you when you chat them up, the life of your mates with kids who smile and call them dad and the woman who's always around, even if she's a little heavier and more lined than those hot young you chase, suddenly looks a lot more appealing. M.
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Shay HTFC
2,945 posts
58 months
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wildcat45 said: I wouldn't say he was hiding something. I know him too well. If he knows a secret, he will tell you. He can't resist gossip. I do know he has hang-ups. Certain things an Ex said to him which really hurt him. She came from a well-to-do family and he did not "fit" with their idea of a son in law. He's not middle class, not an upstanding member of the communtiy, doesn't own his own business, isn't a vet, doesn't ride. Well not horses. Being told he wasn't good enough sent him off into a massive spiral about 8 years ago. It was hard getting him back from that one, especially when he went missing and threw his phone under a train..... Found him in the end, got him home and let him drink himself better. But he still refers to that, making "jokes" that he isn't good enough. I just point him towards an old slapper and say, "youre good enough for that mate/" Then we have another drink and laugh the night away. You can't go deep with him. He had problems at school - again they seem to centre round being told he isn't good enough. He is. More than good enough. Better than most though if I had an 18 year old daughter and she pitched up with someone like him in tow, I'd be a bit upset. When he failed to turn up at my wedding but sent a text saying he'd pulled on a plane from the states, I was fine with that. Indeed, it made for another fun story. He thinks he let me down over that. He did, but I let it pass. Pissed my wife off for a while as she had never met him. He got round her within a minute of meeting her. Charming b d! Wouldn't surprise me if he had some inner need to be loved, or to impress others and never got round to accepting responsibility for how his actions affect others, or how to control impulses. You say he doesn't like to talk deep, but I bet if you did he would be in tears pretty soonish. And coming from a place of relative experience, stuff like this "I just point him towards an old slapper and say, "youre good enough for that mate/"" is hardly morale boosting in the long run. A good mate wouldn't do that imo. Edit: On the other hand, he might go back to mates elsewhere and talk about his dead boring mate with his dead boring life.
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Oldred_V8S
1,700 posts
107 months
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I'm reminded of the character from the Fast Show called Mid life crisis man. 
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10 Pence Short
27,593 posts
86 months
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 This guy (the one on the left), sounds like the OPs mate, except this one still lives with his sister and has no job. Still thinks life is all about mountain biking and whooping and hollering in the pub. Dresses as if he's 22 but he's more than double that. Embarrassing.
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wildcat45
Original Poster
2,541 posts
58 months
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Shay HTFC said: Wouldn't surprise me if he had some inner need to be loved, or to impress others and never got round to accepting responsibility for how his actions affect others, or how to control impulses.
You say he doesn't like to talk deep, but I bet if you did he would be in tears pretty soonish.
And coming from a place of relative experience, stuff like this "I just point him towards an old slapper and say, "youre good enough for that mate/"" is hardly morale boosting in the long run. A good mate wouldn't do that imo.
Edit: On the other hand, he might go back to mates elsewhere and talk about his dead boring mate with his dead boring life. I used the old slapper story to illustrate the way you really can't be deep with him. the only way to engage him is to banter with him. We have always had a silly double act thing going where we pick on each other. In a fun way, not a nasty way. when he saw me the other day, I was wearing a pink shirt. His response on seeing me was "Why have you turned into xxxx xxxxx?" A fat gay man we used to work with. Joshing him is the only way to manage him sometimes - most of the time.
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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VinceFox said: Cock Womble 7 said: VinceFox said: Think we need an age check here for anyone agreeing with his position. I, of course, am twenty eight. And I therefore, by your maths, am thirty two. As long as you're still older than me. Myself and cw, last night...  Which is which?
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VinceFox
14,196 posts
41 months
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Cock Womble 7 said: VinceFox said: Cock Womble 7 said: VinceFox said: Think we need an age check here for anyone agreeing with his position. I, of course, am twenty eight. And I therefore, by your maths, am thirty two. As long as you're still older than me. Myself and cw, last night... Which is which? Nice and cool CW, play it nice and co.......
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Ari
7,205 posts
84 months
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wildcat45 said: Still he told me a few good tales. Like the female debt collector who came roudn to his house. He hasn't bothered with council tax or something. He gave her the cash he owed, made her a cupper then nailed her. As you say, a good tale... 
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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VinceFox said: Nice and cool CW, play it nice and co....... Awright Dave?
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VinceFox
14,196 posts
41 months
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Cock Womble 7 said: VinceFox said: Nice and cool CW, play it nice and co....... Awright Dave? It says rooney here.
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robsco
5,313 posts
45 months
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It sounds to me like the guy has his 2 previous exes on a pedestal and genuinely believes he'll never find that sort of love again. He probably lives that lifestyle to mask the pain of loneliness.
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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robsco said: It sounds to me like the guy has his 2 previous exes on a pedestal and genuinely believes he'll never find that sort of love again. He probably lives that lifestyle to mask the pain of loneliness. f k me, have you been reading my mind again?
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VinceFox
14,196 posts
41 months
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Brb, just off to watch that bit off batman begins again. Liam neeson round the campfire.
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robsco
5,313 posts
45 months
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Cock Womble 7 said: f k me I thought you'd never ask.
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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robsco said: Cock Womble 7 said: f k me I thought you'd never ask. Stop it. You're supposed to be putting me off the pursuit of vacuous sexual gratification in order to mask the pain of a lost love. Oh, go on then, just this once.
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lazystudent
1,511 posts
30 months
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wildcat45 said: I used the old slapper story to illustrate the way you really can't be deep with him. the only way to engage him is to banter with him. We have always had a silly double act thing going where we pick on each other. In a fun way, not a nasty way. when he saw me the other day, I was wearing a pink shirt. His response on seeing me was "Why have you turned into xxxx xxxxx?" A fat gay man we used to work with.
Joshing him is the only way to manage him sometimes - most of the time. I've got a mate like that- wicked fun, great banter and he can literally make friends with anyone given 5 minutes! But I have trouble connecting with him, and in some ways its impossible to talk to him about something serious, as I know he'll just turn it into a big joke. So, I have both types of friends- the measured, calm ones who I can have a serious discussion with, and the one who's a complete nutter and great fun to be around, 24/7. Ultimately, the world will always have both types, and the world needs both types!!
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robsco
5,313 posts
45 months
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Cock Womble 7 said: robsco said: Cock Womble 7 said: f k me I thought you'd never ask. Stop it. You're supposed to be putting me off the pursuit of vacuous sexual gratification in order to mask the pain of a lost love. Oh, go on then, just this once. You know it makes sense. No crying after the deed is done though, you're not getting a f king cuddle.
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