Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
Pit Pony said:
Blown2CV said:
QBee said:
Her "Do you fancy a crispy duck tonight?"
Me (smirking) "Yes please ...... and what are we having for dinner?"
Her, moving swiftly and giving me a slap and THAT look " you knew what I meant".
Don’t get it* Me (smirking) "Yes please ...... and what are we having for dinner?"
Her, moving swiftly and giving me a slap and THAT look " you knew what I meant".
Crispy? No idea.
Duck ? Erm shag
* Neither did the OP, it would seem.
Caddyshack said:
Abbott said:
RizzoTheRat said:
I got a whatsapp as I was leaving work yesterday
"Can you see if the supermarket has green beans and if so get some"
She knows me too well
Some what?"Can you see if the supermarket has green beans and if so get some"
She knows me too well
Do other wives do this or just mine?
Voice emanating from area of kitchen.
Question: Do you fancy a cup of tea?
My Answer: Yes please, that would be nice.
No tea subsequently appears and it's clear that the question actually needed interpretation according to following translation as in 'I want a cup of tea so please provide one, sharpish if you don't mind.'
Voice emanating from area of kitchen.
Question: Do you fancy a cup of tea?
My Answer: Yes please, that would be nice.
No tea subsequently appears and it's clear that the question actually needed interpretation according to following translation as in 'I want a cup of tea so please provide one, sharpish if you don't mind.'
FiF said:
Do other wives do this or just mine?
Voice emanating from area of kitchen.
Question: Do you fancy a cup of tea?
My Answer: Yes please, that would be nice.
No tea subsequently appears and it's clear that the question actually needed interpretation according to following translation as in 'I want a cup of tea so please provide one, sharpish if you don't mind.'
Thankfully not.Voice emanating from area of kitchen.
Question: Do you fancy a cup of tea?
My Answer: Yes please, that would be nice.
No tea subsequently appears and it's clear that the question actually needed interpretation according to following translation as in 'I want a cup of tea so please provide one, sharpish if you don't mind.'
That's one where she needs retraining sharpish, I think...
After 22 years together my best beloved still calls up the stairs to me (my office is the spare bedroom, around a 180 degree turn from the stairs), with questions that require a reply.
No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
QBee said:
After 22 years together my best beloved still calls up the stairs to me (my office is the spare bedroom, around a 180 degree turn from the stairs), with questions that require a reply.
No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
That is just a powerplay. Making whatever you are doing less important than whatever she is doing. No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
Nothing to do with deafness.
Pit Pony said:
QBee said:
After 22 years together my best beloved still calls up the stairs to me (my office is the spare bedroom, around a 180 degree turn from the stairs), with questions that require a reply.
No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
That is just a powerplay. Making whatever you are doing less important than whatever she is doing. No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
Nothing to do with deafness.
Caddyshack said:
Pit Pony said:
QBee said:
After 22 years together my best beloved still calls up the stairs to me (my office is the spare bedroom, around a 180 degree turn from the stairs), with questions that require a reply.
No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
That is just a powerplay. Making whatever you are doing less important than whatever she is doing. No problem you think, just call back.
She is 100% deaf, and has always worn a cochlear implant, which only gives her about 40% hearing. So while she can hear the sound of me replying, she can never hear the actual reply. She needs to be able to see my face to lipread the reply. Does she come upstairs? Nope.
So I have to go to the top of the stairs to answer.........by which time she is back in the kitchen/living room and cannot see me unless I go dowstairs to answer.
But how can you get cross with someone who has gone through life with no hearing? Who has never heard music? Who had to ask her daughter what the strange noise was that she could hear shortly after they first turned on her cochlear 30-odd years ago, only to be told it was a robin singing..
Nothing to do with deafness.
And yes, she has at last taken to texting me in these circumstances. It has only taken 11 years......previously we lived in a bungalow.
We have always had a rule between us that we acknowledge each other's texts, so if I don't answer instantly I get a "hello" text within 90 seconds.....which slightly fails to recognise that I could be on a phone call or a Teams call, or that my iphone simply hasn't made a sound.
I am the only iphone user whose phone frequently doesn't ping when a text comes in? This has been true of my last 4 iphones, not just the current one.
My ex recently got herself an allotment. It was quite overgrown so she asked me to come and help sort it out, in exchange for pizza and beer. A fair trade, so we spent a Saturday afternoon tidying it all up and putting some plants down.
However when she was asked (at work) how her weekend was, she answered that she'd spent most of it on her knees with me, and she was quite sore.
Completely oblivious to the connotations of what she'd said.
It was only when she asked someone else later why people seemed like they were trying not to laugh, and if they didn't like allotments, did this other lady put her out of her misery.
However when she was asked (at work) how her weekend was, she answered that she'd spent most of it on her knees with me, and she was quite sore.
Completely oblivious to the connotations of what she'd said.
It was only when she asked someone else later why people seemed like they were trying not to laugh, and if they didn't like allotments, did this other lady put her out of her misery.
Out walking last week with Mrs John last week, I commented that it was unusual for us to have an easterly wind, it's normally a westerly where we are.
'Probably coming from Serbia' she announces. After some blank looks from me, and asking her if she knew where Serbia is, I realised she meant Siberia
'Probably coming from Serbia' she announces. After some blank looks from me, and asking her if she knew where Serbia is, I realised she meant Siberia
john_1983 said:
Out walking last week with Mrs John last week, I commented that it was unusual for us to have an easterly wind, it's normally a westerly where we are.
'Probably coming from Serbia' she announces. After some blank looks from me, and asking her if she knew where Serbia is, I realised she meant Siberia
My wife is from Serbia. When people (usually someone else's Mrs...) ask her where she comes from, and she tells them, the response is often "blimey, isn't it really cold there??".'Probably coming from Serbia' she announces. After some blank looks from me, and asking her if she knew where Serbia is, I realised she meant Siberia
Australia/Austria.
CivicDuties said:
john_1983 said:
Out walking last week with Mrs John last week, I commented that it was unusual for us to have an easterly wind, it's normally a westerly where we are.
'Probably coming from Serbia' she announces. After some blank looks from me, and asking her if she knew where Serbia is, I realised she meant Siberia
My wife is from Serbia. When people (usually someone else's Mrs...) ask her where she comes from, and she tells them, the response is often "blimey, isn't it really cold there??".'Probably coming from Serbia' she announces. After some blank looks from me, and asking her if she knew where Serbia is, I realised she meant Siberia
Australia/Austria.
Slovakia/Slovenia is the common mix up. Although someone once thought she has an Australian accent.
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