How long do you want to live?
Discussion
Monkeylegend said:
Boringvolvodriver said:
I certainly don’t want to spend my last year’s dribbling in a chair not knowing what the hell is going on.
The saving grace is that you won't know what is going on.Boringvolvodriver said:
Monkeylegend said:
Boringvolvodriver said:
I certainly don’t want to spend my last year’s dribbling in a chair not knowing what the hell is going on.
The saving grace is that you won't know what is going on.I have always said I will not end up in a nursing/residential home if I have anything to do with it.
It's all about timing
Boringvolvodriver said:
That is very true - but what we don’t know is what is actually going on in the person with dementia head. It is horrible to see what looks like torment and I certainly don’t want my family to see me like that.
Is there a reason you fear that? I fear it too but not from a familial expectation. It runs in my wife's family but they're longer lived than mine. What sort of f
ked up combination is it that she'll likely outlive me but not be right in the head when she's doing it.I'm making light of serious problems, but that's how we survive.
For what it's worth, wife deals with people whose mind has gone (strokes usually) every working day. They're never fully gone, there's still a person in there. But that's scare too, just looking out through the window of your eyes but being unable to participate.
Sorry, don't mean to be a doom monger. But there are no nice options on how to go other than go quickly but there's plenty of life to be going on with until then.
Boringvolvodriver said:
It all depends on your experiences of older people in your family I think.
Anybody who has seen the decline of a parent or grandparent from dementia will probably say that they don’t want to end their days like that - it really is a cruel illness and as an advert says, you see the person “die” several times and by the time death finally comes, it is a blessing for all concerned.
Out of my 4 grandparents and 2 parents, only one lived beyond 71 (83) and he was the one who has smoked from the age of 12 including at one point Capstan Full Strength!
On the basis I keep relatively fit in body and keep my marbles, then I would be quite happy with 80 (currently 64) although I am sure as that gets nearer then my view might change.
I certainly don’t want to spend my last year’s dribbling in a chair not knowing what the hell is going on.
Being marginally nearer 80 than 70, I can assure you that it will!Anybody who has seen the decline of a parent or grandparent from dementia will probably say that they don’t want to end their days like that - it really is a cruel illness and as an advert says, you see the person “die” several times and by the time death finally comes, it is a blessing for all concerned.
Out of my 4 grandparents and 2 parents, only one lived beyond 71 (83) and he was the one who has smoked from the age of 12 including at one point Capstan Full Strength!
On the basis I keep relatively fit in body and keep my marbles, then I would be quite happy with 80 (currently 64) although I am sure as that gets nearer then my view might change.
I certainly don’t want to spend my last year’s dribbling in a chair not knowing what the hell is going on.
glenrobbo said:
Alickadoo said:
I can't speak for anyone else, but as an elderly person I can assure that as far as I am concerned being alive - albeit with simpler pleasures - is better than the alternative.
How do you know? It might be fantastic on the other side!
/76 and lovin' it!
But you're right, we never know
Monkeylegend said:
I agree.
I have always said I will not end up in a nursing/residential home if I have anything to do with it.
It's all about timing
Good luck with that.I have always said I will not end up in a nursing/residential home if I have anything to do with it.
It's all about timing
There's a good chance you will have nothing to do with the decision
to enter The OVO Energy retirement complex.
A diagnosis of reduced capacity will ensure that decisions
affecting your future care will be made by
health professionals and social workers,
you and your family are out of the loop.
Welcome to the Welfare State.
Nethybridge said:
Monkeylegend said:
I agree.
I have always said I will not end up in a nursing/residential home if I have anything to do with it.
It's all about timing
Good luck with that.I have always said I will not end up in a nursing/residential home if I have anything to do with it.
It's all about timing
There's a good chance you will have nothing to do with the decision
to enter The OVO Energy retirement complex.
A diagnosis of reduced capacity will ensure that decisions
affecting your future care will be made by
health professionals and social workers,
you and your family are out of the loop.
Welcome to the Welfare State.
Gigamoons said:
Register1 said:
68 soon.
I would be happy to see the 100.
Good knees, hips, etc.
Would like to give my new son, 12 weeks old, as much experience of what not to do in life
67 and a 12wk old son. I would be happy to see the 100.
Good knees, hips, etc.
Would like to give my new son, 12 weeks old, as much experience of what not to do in life
<doffs cap>
Full time stay at home dad, from Friday 19 January.
Son born 24 January.
51 years of graft under my belt as electrical engineer
Bill said:
Far too much pessimism here IMO. A moderately healthy 50 year old is only half way through their adult life...I think if i had good mobility and sharp functioning mind i would be delighted with 85 and for it to end quickly. Probably in my sleep after a wonderful evening with friends/family washing down good food and wine.
Back to reality...
As i have gotten older i have had to watch people i love depart in pretty horrendous ways. Cancer. Dementia. Sepsis. Then my poor dad had a massive stroke at 66, just as he was about to fully retire from his business. Sadly the ambulance didn't arrive for an hour and by the time he finally got treatment the damage was done. He has never been home, now requires 24 hour care with many disabilities. My mum exists with a broken heart as a depressive recluse whose only life is travelling backwards and forwards to a carehome visiting dad. It is a nightmare and having to watch him suffer extremely painful. He was running, swimming, kite surfing, cycling. Now reduced to nothing in a wheelchair in a care home. We had a 10 month old daughter when dad fell ill, he has missed everything, she has missed a wonderful grandad. She is 3.5 now. Very few understand the world we are trapped in outside of our close family. I Wouldn't wish it on any one.
If i had my way he wouldn't have survived and would be at peace.
I think whatever age you are, if you have climbed out of bed this morning, washed yourself, wiped your own arse and have people you love to go drive a car and do anything you enjoy then you are winning at life.
The day that stops is the day i don't want to be here any longer. Hopefully a few more years for me yet but no guarantees. I'm 43 in a few weeks.
Back to reality...
As i have gotten older i have had to watch people i love depart in pretty horrendous ways. Cancer. Dementia. Sepsis. Then my poor dad had a massive stroke at 66, just as he was about to fully retire from his business. Sadly the ambulance didn't arrive for an hour and by the time he finally got treatment the damage was done. He has never been home, now requires 24 hour care with many disabilities. My mum exists with a broken heart as a depressive recluse whose only life is travelling backwards and forwards to a carehome visiting dad. It is a nightmare and having to watch him suffer extremely painful. He was running, swimming, kite surfing, cycling. Now reduced to nothing in a wheelchair in a care home. We had a 10 month old daughter when dad fell ill, he has missed everything, she has missed a wonderful grandad. She is 3.5 now. Very few understand the world we are trapped in outside of our close family. I Wouldn't wish it on any one.
If i had my way he wouldn't have survived and would be at peace.
I think whatever age you are, if you have climbed out of bed this morning, washed yourself, wiped your own arse and have people you love to go drive a car and do anything you enjoy then you are winning at life.
The day that stops is the day i don't want to be here any longer. Hopefully a few more years for me yet but no guarantees. I'm 43 in a few weeks.
Edited by M3333 on Sunday 21st April 08:26
I would like to live as long as i have my health, or at least healthy enough to be ok.
My neighbour is 84 and my dad is 85, both of them are pretty busy people, neither come across as 85, both still driving, my dad helps look after my 3 and 8 year old! my neighbour comes and cuts my grass, he goes out to restaurants, has a drink, has a boat which he regularly takes out and like my dad is always doing something.
They both seemingly have more energy than me at half the age
Amazing. I don't know why. Genes? lifestyle? I couldn't imagine either of them suddenly going downhill out of nowhere.
The thing i notice is some people call themselves old and act it, some don't and just get on with it, they seem to do pretty well as long as some nasty disease doesn't get hold of them.
My neighbour is 84 and my dad is 85, both of them are pretty busy people, neither come across as 85, both still driving, my dad helps look after my 3 and 8 year old! my neighbour comes and cuts my grass, he goes out to restaurants, has a drink, has a boat which he regularly takes out and like my dad is always doing something.
They both seemingly have more energy than me at half the age
Amazing. I don't know why. Genes? lifestyle? I couldn't imagine either of them suddenly going downhill out of nowhere.
The thing i notice is some people call themselves old and act it, some don't and just get on with it, they seem to do pretty well as long as some nasty disease doesn't get hold of them.
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