Dealing with stress and anxiety

If you’re able, do something physical in the fresh air.

Don’t try to self diagnose by reading up on it on the internet.

Horrible thing anxiety, what worked for me and took a long time to realize, don’t fight it, the sooner you accept it and become used to it the sooner you will become bored of it and realize that it can’t harm you, in fact i when I do have days of super high anxiety I use that nervousness and wave of energy to get things done, I’m familiar with all the physical symptoms too, again just it’s just your body doing its thing, nothing to worry about, look up The Dare response, that gives loads of great advice,

Plus the usual advice on cutting down on alcohol and caffeine, as mentioned fresh air and exercise helps too

I have bad anxiety, maybe not as bad as some but it affects me daily, I'm a bus driver and the job has made the anxiety worse over the years, constantly worrying whether i am going to get some lunatic passenger who's going to go on the offensive with me over something out of my control, and i worry over that from every stop i pull up to, I also don't do well around people in general as i often feel awkward or like i don't fit into the conversation that's ongoing.

The only place that takes that away is when i am at home and i can let the defenses down, I've had people say well quit the job if that's a part of my anxiety issues but it's not so simple when the hours i do fit perfectly with childcare and there not been much else out there that fits in with our home life so i unfortunately put up with it.

Just to point out, statistically, NONE of the above is unusual at all, Derren Brown or someone similar used that as part of a tv show, "mind reading" and amazing people that he figured out that they didn't like to be the centre of attention, when it's actually really common.

I'm a bit unusual in that I'm the opposite, I like being in the middle and entertaining, but particularly if it's with customers then I will still "breathe out" at the end of the day and have a beer.

Hi, I'm hoping that I can give you some advice and maybe it might hit home. I'm 43 and have been suffering for years with stress, anxiety, depression (low level) and panic attacks. I have now realised that it's been a prolonged childhood trauma that I've never dealt until now which has caused many of my 'issues'.


Somethings that helped me were other people going through tough times and talking about it and what they said to me.

1. You can't control other people or situations, only how you react to them.

This was big, I always wanted to be in control and couldn't relax knowing I couldn't influence every situation I was in. Turns out 99% of things that happen around me needs NO reaction from me. I was getting scared of normal every day places looking for a danger that didn't exist, or I would react poorly to what folk said to me, over analyzing every word and making it into a big deal when it wasn't.

2. We're all playing the big game of life, we all end up dead and don't know when it's going to happen so enjoy the now, for get the past and don't live in the future.

Sounds bleak but I was regretting the past and trying to live out future moments in my head all the while ignoring the NOW and missing the wonderful life I've got going on around me. Procrastinating was killing all my joy, I would worry about events, going places, future work meetings and calls expecting the worst but when it came around it was all good. I've spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened - Mark Twain - 100% me!

3. Talk to people, tell them how you feel, find a club (Andys Man Club?) as saying the problem out loud can sometimes make it seem less scary.

I've done group and individual therapy over the past 2 months along with weekly meetings talking about my feelings. It's done wonders for me to the point many of my old hang ups are gone or much less impactful on my life. I've had great advice from other people around me and have seen a massive improvement in my physical and mental health. Sleeping better, eating better, avoidance behavior all but gone. Not freaking out or worrying about the simple stuff.

Even my work has been very supportive after I told them about what I was going through. If your work is decent, they will have some form of Mental Health care or help available and should be very supportive.



In my therapy I was shown visual guides along with the reading material that at first seemed stupid but has helped me massively. It sounds like you are trying to problem solve what you are seeing as real threats and situations while you are out with your window of tolerance. If you are already worried it's hard for the 'new brain' to problem solve as your old brain is reacting to a perceived threat. You are maybe within a fight or flight response hence why your tense and your breathing is faster than normal.

You need to find a way to anchor yourself back down, distract from the problem and get your new brain engaged again to problem solve rationally. When your in a heightened state your can easily become overwhelmed and make poor decisions. I've gone back and reviewed some of my past issues and wrote down how I was feeling, what I wanted to do, what I actually done, how it made me feel at the time etc. Some of the decision making when I read it out loud was absurd, but that's how I dealt with it with no rationale and it's helped me see current 'problems' in a different light.

What is the problem? How do I feel physically/mentally? What do I want to do (usually avoid/remove myself for the area)? What am I going to do? Anchor myself back to reality, distract my brain until I'm a little bit calmer, make sound decisions based on what I know....... Oh, this has happened before, it may be scary BUT this scenario hasn't killed me before, my body is hyped pushing me to fight or flight, calm down and deal with this rationally. The more I do it this way, the less scary these situations become.


Hope some of that makes sense?

I will echo the posts directing you towards mindfulness.

Found this book very helpful:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-gui...

I didn't necessarily think that it was helpful at the time of doing the practices but a few months on and I seem to be in a better place than I've been in a long time.

So you don't sleep well.

I find that if I lack good sleep my ability to deal with all the everyday stuff/pressures of like is significantly decreased and I feel stressed.

So maybe that'd be a good staring point, albeit not the whole solution.

That’s very much a vicious circle. The more tired you are, the quicker the anxiety hits (even from minor things) which causes you to lie in bed worrying, and so on.

Breaking the cycle might be as simple as no alcohol or caffeine in the evening plus over the counter sleeping tablets for a week, or may be much harder.

I found a weighted blanket fixed my sleep.

Prescribed medical cannabis for my anxiety a year ago, haven't looked back since, Its a shame that baseless claims 45 years ago regarding cannabis are still believed by most today.