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ADM06
488 posts
41 months
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Reading other members experiences makes me think I shall move the crowbar from the back of my van to along side the drivers seat.
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Huff
1,129 posts
60 months
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I have received one, in my BEC (R1-engined Fury).
Pulled-out of the lock-up where it lives, cackling and spitting and generally refusing to idle below 2Krpm (as it does sometimes after a few weeks off, esp. when v cold in winter). 100m later turned onto the road around the back of the Circus in Bath where an old Gent took exception to the 'racer', walked out into the middle of the road and forced me (and cars behind) to stop and berated me publicly starting thus: 'you sir are a bl00dy menace' &c, a disgrace and a couple of appended choice words I was surprised he'd learned.
I presume he took noise for speed - I hadn't got above 15mph all the while being too concerned with not stalling. Funnily enough, the lesson in the perceptions of others abides. There's no need to ever look like a c*ck in public, is there.
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smartypants
17,422 posts
38 months
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Dave Hedgehog said: took his keys and lobbed them in a hedge 400 yards up the road You should be in the Olympics
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ADM06
488 posts
41 months
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Once whilst collecting a KFC I got into a revving match with an m3 parked next to me. I had a really s  tty old diesel so it was all in jest and everybody was laughing. A learner driver and car full of friends, all 40-something women are struggling to park whilst blocking the exit. Seriously she must have gone back and forth a dozen times. On exiting the car park I got a load of abuse of learners friend along the lines of "f k off you t t she's a learner". I told her to f k off and pointed out I was revving my s t car and the nice car next to me, just for s ts and giggles. "Oh" and regretful expression was her reply.
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ADM06
488 posts
41 months
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smartypants said: You should be in the Olympics Gold for exaggeration of distance.
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Digby
3,145 posts
115 months
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Twincharged said: To be fair, in situations like this where someone has ended up in the wrong lane, they're trying to make the best of a bad situation. They may well be a person who doesn't live locally, so doesn't know which lane they should be in. Once they've made a mistake, chances are they're going to want to get moving to avoid holding up other people behind them.
In such situations, while you might be "in the right" and them "in the wrong", slowing down slightly to let them in will keep traffic flowing more overall, and probably be greatly appreciated by the other driver. Conversely, if you leave them nowhere to go when they've already sped up, they might be trying a silly manouevre, but you're making it a lot more dangerous by not making allowances for it. You wouldn't plough into a child who has run into the road to get a football because *it's your right of way*, so why close someone out and escalate a dangerous situation?
I can't comment specifically on your situation without having seen it, but from the tone of your post it sounds like you could have let him in. Well, I was in a 32 ton, 36 foot long truck, so I get this sort of thing happen all day every day to one degree or another.Most of it is water off a ducks back. This guy wasn't in the wrong lane, he just didn't want to wait in our longer queue.All the signs were there to let you know which lane to be in and you only had a choice of two.My lane had approx 30 cars, his right turn only lane had approx ten.I saw him flying up the outside just as we started moving.By the time he got to the rear of my vehicle, he must have been sat at around 50+ MPH. There was hardly a cars length between me and the car in front and his lane was now starting to slow as ours moved on to join the motorway.My actions wouldn't have changed had I seen him or not, as I was just pulling away along with everyone else.I guess we were sat at approx 20 mph at the point he decided I/we should all take evasive action and slam our brakes on to avoid an impact. I know the difference between someone a bit lost or confused and a grade A d head.Sure, I could have slammed on my brakes, buy why should I? The choice between him potentialy hitting the side of my vehicle, or making the gap and risking me driving through his back window as he braked hard, isn't much of a choice at all.His best option was to slow down, indicate, or wait in the queue like everyone else, no? Like I say, had I not been looking in the mirror, the first I would have known about his existence was when he screamed past me a short time later and started to brake check me.Actually, that may not be entirely true, because everyone could hear his engine screaming..
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VidalBaboon
8,863 posts
84 months
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I'm by no means any angel, and I've been on the receiving end of road rage by picking on someone bigger than me, and that takes some doing, but find someone I did. He put his hand around my head and proceeded to smash the f k out of my face before driving off. So I've always been cautious about any possible altercations on the road. It's far better to leave it go than get involved, i'm a very relaxed chap, more lover than a fighter and am proud to say I've never swung my fist at anyone in anger, I've always been the one to diffuse fights on rowdy nights out, blah, blah, blah. This served me quite well until last year when I was tailgated on my motorbike in the wet, when I say tailgated I mean less than 12" off my rear tyre. He then proceeded to undercut me approaching a set of traffic lights. I would have let it go if he hadn't nearly taken my front wheel out by cutting back out infront of me. By this time the red mist and adrenalin had taken it's grip and the traffic lights were red, so I decided to have a chat with him once we drew to a stop. When I say chat, it may have been full blown red faced spitting my words out in my best drill instructor voice, when I say tapping, I may mean trying to break his window with my gloves on. He didn't look at me despite my best efforts to attract his attention by tapping on his window. I'm not exactly proud of it, but everyone has a limit, he just pressed my 'nuke from orbit' button that day.
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TomN94
2,379 posts
27 months
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paranoid airbag said: I'm not sure whether admitting this is refreshingly honest or just dumb. Protip: when you've broken the law and hit someone as a direct result, complaining about parking infringements is a tad petty.
Also, learn to write - I can't understand some of that.
To answer the OP, no, I am a beacon of calm on the road. The closest is giving someone who pulled out on me from L1, on a busy motorway, a few weeks after my first and thus far only proper accident (so I was still a bit shaky), the bird, horn, lights etc, when he came off at the same junction as me. I didn't do so at the time, because I was busy avoiding an accident. I shall blame the ridiculous bit at the start of my paragraph, on my faulty laptop, it has taken me 20 minutes to type this.
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abbotsmike
382 posts
14 months
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I did also have a guy that took offence to my driving on the warwick bypass once, accelerating from the traffic he literally sat on my back bumper then undertook and cut in, nearly taking my front wing with him. I flashed my annoyance (as you do) then he proceeded to brake test and generally try and run me off the road until I slowed down to such a crawl that he buggered off. Unfortunately he came off at the same junction as me, and I ended up behind him at the traffic lights. Didn't realise this until the nutter was at my window screaming blue murder! I wound it down to tell him to poke it, then reversed back with him still going at the window, and f ked off sharpish round his stopped car! I had a mate in the car and we both just froze! Was shaking for a while after that one, just couldn't believe it! Funnily enough, he pulled the "I'm twice your age, been driving for 20 years bulls t" Didn't realise that makes undertaking and tailgating ok...
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jamoor
7,043 posts
84 months
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Thin White Duke said: Something which made me chuckle in a topic of mine the other week regarding LHD cars, was a comment by someone that if another road user offends you on the road you are in perhaps a better posistion to give them a verbal thrashing. Most probably effective if you pull up next to them at the lights on their drivers side. Or if it's a pedestrian on your side of the road.
Anyway I was just wondering if anyone here had any good stories of verbal thrashings, both given and taken.
I'm afraid I haven't any, apart from the odd shouting at people from time to time. TBH When someone does that, I just laugh at them with an annoying smile, I find it infuriates them further for some reason. Funniest was some guy in a Petrol station, was dilly dallying getting back into his car and setting off, there was a spare pump in front of him, so I just went around and pulled in front of him and set about my business, I'm not sure why he took such great offence to this as he could then go around me and exit. I just lold at him, knowing there was umpteen CCTV cameras pointing at his face and vehicle.
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AClownsPocket
286 posts
28 months
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Roundabout near work has had some improvements done recently which now means that what used to be two lanes to turn right is now one. Its all clearly signposted and roadmarked, so even the blithely idiotic can figure it out. It still doesn't stop the regulars in cars and bikes braking in the (now) middle lane trying to cut in and causing 50mph traffic attempting to go straight on (as is their right) to stand on the brakes. Have witnessed mutiple altercations because of this.
I've even been involved in one myself. I pulled up in the correct lane, had been stationary for about 30 seconds, when a biker tried to pull in front of me, but there was no gap at all (I'd been parked for 30 seconds). Lights go green, I am quite happy to let him in until he smacks my front wing with his hand and gives me the international hand gesture for unhappiness. I still let him in as I can't be bothered arguing. He's now in front and we move up the road in formation. For some inexplicable reason, he brake tests me. He's on a bike, I'm in a 5 series. He's not too bright this fella. I am annoyed now so follow him to the Harley garage where I know he's going. He parks up and tries to avoid my eye as I park the car. I walk over and ask him if the wing smack and the brake test were necessary when he was in the wrong and I pointed out I hadn't deliberately tried to block him. His reponse, 'you car drivers think you own the road'. Didn't really know what to say to that so just advised him that next he brake tests someone, do the math and don't do it to 1500KG of Bavarian pig iron.
Can't really get upset with driving in the UK, worked in Qatar for three years. Now THAT'S bad driving.
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Flying Toilet
2,887 posts
80 months
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Dave Hedgehog said: so i explained the error of his ways, took his keys and lobbed them in a hedge 400 yards up the road When you say up the road did you mean you threw them in London and you cleared the M25 and your personal best?
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MadMark911
1,360 posts
18 months
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I remember coming to a halt in my BMW at some traffic lights with an island to my right. Biker boy pulls alongside me (into a space only just large enough for his bike), about 6 inches from my car. Anyway it's obvious from his revving that he's intending to blow me off the lights, so I out the autobox into "Sport", turn the TC off and launch as soon as the lights go green! Laughing hsyterically, I hold him for the first 50 yards, but eventually he gets in front gesticulating wildly and then brake tests me, so I kick down and pass him (there was nothing coming the other way). He then accelerates down the inside of me entering a roundabout and brake tests me again. Now I see red, drop a couple of cogs and make my 1.5 ton BMW "Rizzla distance" from his back wheel and gesticulate for him to go away (sweeping my hand forward). When we reach the next traffic lights - I pull up alongside and ask him what his problem is? He's so suprised that I wind my window down and shout at him, that at first he just listens. I explain that I was only playing at the traffic lights and he didn't have to pull alongside, overtake me or brake test me! Anyway he mouths something about me being the slang for a woman's private parts and rockets off ..... leaving me fuming! 
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s2ooz
3,001 posts
153 months
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MadMark911 said: I remember coming to a halt in my BMW at some traffic lights with an island to my right. Biker boy pulls alongside me (into a space only just large enough for his bike), about 6 inches from my car. Anyway it's obvious from his revving that he's intending to blow me off the lights, so I out the autobox into "Sport", turn the TC off and launch as soon as the lights go green! Laughing hsyterically, I hold him for the first 50 yards, but eventually he gets in front gesticulating wildly and then brake tests me, so I kick down and pass him (there was nothing coming the other way). He then accelerates down the inside of me entering a roundabout and brake tests me again. Now I see red, drop a couple of cogs and make my 1.5 ton BMW "Rizzla distance" from his back wheel and gesticulate for him to go away (sweeping my hand forward). When we reach the next traffic lights - I pull up alongside and ask him what his problem is? He's so suprised that I wind my window down and shout at him, that at first he just listens. I explain that I was only playing at the traffic lights and he didn't have to pull alongside, overtake me or brake test me! Anyway he mouths something about me being the slang for a woman's private parts and rockets off ..... leaving me fuming! sounds like you were being a dick. most bikers play with the throttle on neutral. by launching off you probably forced him wide at the lights, and considering his bike will piss over your box on wheels for acceleration, would have left you standing at the lights if that was his intention. so all you did was launch 2 tonnes of metal at a vunerable leg. would have pissed me off too. as for 6 inches, sounds like he left you plenty of room.
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Alexlfc
71 posts
22 months
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Dunno about everyone else but the only times I've had anyone swear/threaten/have a go at me is when I've beeped at them when they've done something wrong like cut me up or almost plow straight into me.
The other day me and the OH were going right round a roundabout in the right lane when middle aged roid head bloke decides he doesn't need to wait in the queue and boots it round in the left lane then gives us the finger when he almost plows into us. Bless him.
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Symbolica
8,956 posts
84 months
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MadMark911 said: I remember coming to a halt in my BMW at some traffic lights with an island to my right. Biker boy pulls alongside me (into a space only just large enough for his bike), about 6 inches from my car. Anyway it's obvious from his revving that he's intending to blow me off the lights, so I out the autobox into "Sport", turn the TC off and launch as soon as the lights go green! Laughing hsyterically, I hold him for the first 50 yards, but eventually he gets in front gesticulating wildly and then brake tests me, so I kick down and pass him (there was nothing coming the other way). He then accelerates down the inside of me entering a roundabout and brake tests me again. Now I see red, drop a couple of cogs and make my 1.5 ton BMW "Rizzla distance" from his back wheel and gesticulate for him to go away (sweeping my hand forward). When we reach the next traffic lights - I pull up alongside and ask him what his problem is? He's so suprised that I wind my window down and shout at him, that at first he just listens. I explain that I was only playing at the traffic lights and he didn't have to pull alongside, overtake me or brake test me! Anyway he mouths something about me being the slang for a woman's private parts and rockets off ..... leaving me fuming! WTF is wrong with you?! 
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JohnoVR6
362 posts
81 months
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Friday night I was on the M40, when I came up behind a Punto doing 60/65 in lane 3. There was traffic in lanes 1 and 2, so just put it down to a drawn out overtake. As we pass the traffic, I indicate into lane 2, expecting the same from the Punto. Nothing. Granted there was further traffic in lane 2 about 300 yards away, but considering the speed differential, plenty of time for him to move in and then back out. This happens three or four times, him sticking to his 65mph limit, before he finally pulls in - and nearly takes the back off of a car in lane 2. I pass, and he violently cuts back in behind me. As I look in the rear view mirror its a spotty little 18 year old, who looked remarkably like that oik that throw the fire extinguisher off the roof of Millbrook Tower that time, flashing his lights and giving me the w ker sign. So I then indicate into lane two and wind my window down to ask him what his problem is. To which he backs off so much, that two cars in lane 3 have to undercut him to avoid running in the back of him. I move to lane 1 to avoid a collision whilst he then attempts to use a Qashqai as a shield and slip past. As the Qashqai boots it, he's left stranded in lane 3, staring directly at me like a deer in headlights, and mouthing 'What?? I didn't do anything!' To which I just thought it pitiful and left him to it, still in lane 3, still doing 60mph. It is especially funny as despite my age, I look younger than him, have arms like twiglets and usually won't say boo to a goose. As has been rightly pointed out in this thread, it only takes being cocky to the wrong person and it's a trip to A&E. Which would have served him right...the little s t.
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k15tox
1,680 posts
50 months
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MadMark911 said: I remember coming to a halt in my BMW at some traffic lights with an island to my right. Biker boy pulls alongside me (into a space only just large enough for his bike), about 6 inches from my car. Anyway it's obvious from his revving that he's intending to blow me off the lights, so I out the autobox into "Sport", turn the TC off and launch as soon as the lights go green! Laughing hsyterically, I hold him for the first 50 yards, but eventually he gets in front gesticulating wildly and then brake tests me, so I kick down and pass him (there was nothing coming the other way). He then accelerates down the inside of me entering a roundabout and brake tests me again. Now I see red, drop a couple of cogs and make my 1.5 ton BMW "Rizzla distance" from his back wheel and gesticulate for him to go away (sweeping my hand forward). When we reach the next traffic lights - I pull up alongside and ask him what his problem is? He's so suprised that I wind my window down and shout at him, that at first he just listens. I explain that I was only playing at the traffic lights and he didn't have to pull alongside, overtake me or brake test me! Anyway he mouths something about me being the slang for a woman's private parts and rockets off ..... leaving me fuming! If the lights are red i usually go to the front on the bike. To make progress, i have no interest in racing from the lights. Dont see a problem with this as im not holding anybody up, only once come across a prick like you he was in a zafira and obvouisly annoyed that i 'pushed in'. 335d by any chance?
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Donatello
1,034 posts
30 months
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I have two occasions I can recall. One I was a passenger for and the other I was 3rd party (on-looker).. Number 1 My mate was driving me home from a end of season football dinner for my club and he cut someone up pretty badly. The driver flashed his lights and beeped the horn. We laughed (being 18 and extremely cool, nothing bothered us). At the next set of lights both of our doors flew open and I was punched in the face by crazy eastern european man and my mate dragged out of the car and given a hiding by two blokes. After they vented, it diffused quickly, me and my mate sheepishly got back in the car, both bleeding and very soar, but laughing in shock I suppose. I have avoided on road confrontation ever since... Number 2 Set of lights waiting to filter right at a big cross-roads when over the road I see a newish M3 skid up to the lights. The Vectra behind him nearly smashes into the back of him (I think they had done the red light drag race from the previous set and the M3 cut the Vectra up, so he didn't get stuck behind the Micra in lane 1). Vectra man jumps out of the car, runs up to the drivers door, tries the handle, has no luck so smashes the window!!!! and punches the bloke in the head a good 4-5 times. A few people get out, I had my nephew in the car so just stayed out of the way (because I would have just killed everyone if he wasn't there...) The Vectra reversed, went round him through a red light and disappeared... BE CAREFUL, that psycho could be driving the car you p s off..
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Burning Rubber
7 posts
12 months
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I once had a car pull out of a side road infront of me, causing me to slam on the brakes to stop me running in to the back of them. i beeped the horn and gave him the w ker sign.... he slammed on his brakes and got out of his car and came back to mine, he was shouting how he was going to do me I got a knife out that i carry, followed him back to his car and held it to his throat once he had got back in the drivers seat. told him I would kill him if i saw him again
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