|
Tuscan Rat
Original Poster
3,239 posts
92 months
|
Well Volume 6 is now here, so to start it off..... Three guys walk into a bar. The first guy says, "I've got the smallest arm in the world." The second guy, "I've got the smallest head in the world." ... The third guy, "I've got the smallest penis in the world." So the three guys go to the Guinness World Records. The first guy comes back and says, "I really do have the smallest arm in the world!" The second guy comes back and says, "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world!" The third guy comes back angry and shouts, "WHO THE f  k IS JUSTIN BIEBER?!"
|
|
|
SC7
1,882 posts
50 months
|
A bloke walks into a pub and orders a pint of Whitbread, before nipping to the gents'.
The barmaid places his pint on the bar, and out of nowhere a muscular black woman appears, hops up onto a bar stool, straddles his glass and trumps right into the ale.
The bloke returns from the toilet, picks up his pint, goes to take a sip and immediately wretches and heaves.
He looks around, wiping his mouth and spots the athletic black woman looking guilty at the other end of the bar.
"Oi," he shouts angrily, "You fart in my Whitbread?!"
"No," she replies, "I'm Tessa Sanderson."
|
|
|
Jonboy_t
2,538 posts
52 months
|
I was in the bar with my mate when I told him, "My girlfriend bet me a tenner that I wouldn't be home before 10pm tonight."
He replied, "Well you've got 5 minutes to get home then."
"No, I've got 3 hours to borrow a tenner."
|
|
|
Thom987
3,185 posts
35 months
|
Sent away for a hearing aid in June....still haven't heard anything back.
|
|
|
Laurel Green
14,896 posts
101 months
|
Mods, can we please have a clown (^^^^ one of them) smiley in the margin please. 
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
WestYorkie
1,702 posts
64 months
|
Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!!
|
|
|
Laurel Green
14,896 posts
101 months
|
WestYorkie said: Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!! 
|
|
|
PH lurker
1,231 posts
26 months
|
Will there be Latvians?...
|
|
|
j44esd
912 posts
92 months
|
PH lurker said: Will there be Latvians?... No Latvians. Only potato. I'm going to hell aren't I?
|
|
|
omgus
4,875 posts
44 months
|
 I have the tenn(ish) post. 
|
|
|
snowy slopes
27,616 posts
56 months
|
j44esd said: PH lurker said: Will there be Latvians?... No Latvians. Only potato. I'm going to hell aren't I? No, is too warm, stay here is cold
|
|
|
im
27,997 posts
86 months
|
Just to log-in to this thread...
What bounces and makes kids cry? My cheque to Children in Need.
|
|
|
snowy slopes
27,616 posts
56 months
|
I passed my ethics exam today
I cheated
|
|
|
bob1179
13,467 posts
78 months
|
SC7 said: A bloke walks into a pub and orders a pint of Whitbread, before nipping to the gents'.
The barmaid places his pint on the bar, and out of nowhere a muscular black woman appears, hops up onto a bar stool, straddles his glass and trumps right into the ale.
The bloke returns from the toilet, picks up his pint, goes to take a sip and immediately wretches and heaves.
He looks around, wiping his mouth and spots the athletic black woman looking guilty at the other end of the bar.
"Oi," he shouts angrily, "You fart in my Whitbread?!"
"No," she replies, "I'm Tessa Sanderson."
|
|
|
LordHaveMurci
3,121 posts
38 months
|
WestYorkie said: Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!! 
|
|
|
JonRB
39,542 posts
141 months
|
SC7 said: "You fart in my Whitbread?!" Reminds me of another beer-related joke. Rosemary West is released on parole and goes into her local and the barman says "Rosemary! So great to see you. Can I get you a glass of wine perhaps?" "No", she replies, "but I could murder some Tennents"
|
|
|
Tuscan Rat
Original Poster
3,239 posts
92 months
|
Laurel Green said: Mods, can we please have a clown (^^^^ one of them) smiley in the margin please. Sorted !!!
|
|
|
Laurel Green
14,896 posts
101 months
|
Tuscan Rat said: Sorted !!! Thanks, TR.
|
|
|
Jasandjules
45,458 posts
98 months
|
|
|
snowy slopes
27,616 posts
56 months
|
JonRB said: Reminds me of another beer-related joke.
Rosemary West is released on parole and goes into her local and the barman says "Rosemary! So great to see you. Can I get you a glass of wine perhaps?"
"No", she replies, "but I could murder some Tennents"
|
|
