Sean Connery Joke (Volume IV)

[Mr Ben]

Stablelad - Re: LatvianJokes

Thank you so much, that has made my day. The best thing i've read in a while!!

[HereBeMonsters]

Mr Ben said:

Stablelad - Re: LatvianJokes

Thank you so much, that has made my day. The best thing i've read in a while!!

I have to agree. Some of them were really good.

You have to read them in your head in a Borat accent I think. The one about soldier rape was funny. But then, rape is always funny.

Borat said:

In Kazhakstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis...

[North West Tom]

I was at the garden centre looking for a Christmas tree (early, I know). The shop assistant said

"Will you be putting that up yourself?"

I replied "No it's going in my living room you dirty bd!"

[dpbird90]

HereBeMonsters said:

But then, rape is always funny

Only if you wear a clown suit

[Toni896]

What no Cockermouth jokes ? I thought they'd be flooding in ...

[911mot]

Toni896 said:

What no Cockermouth jokes ? I thought they'd be flooding in ...

Would be a bit non PC though

[Smart Mart]

Toni896 said:

What no Cockermouth jokes ? I thought they'd be flooding in ...

I saw what you did there....

[havoc]

911mot said:

Toni896 said:

What no Cockermouth jokes ? I thought they'd be flooding in ...

Would be a bit non PC though

[Wacky Racer]

A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place.

They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.

"What's that?" the lady questions.

"Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."

Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE.

'What's that ?' the lady questions again.

"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV."

Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tattoo that says AIDS.

"You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams.

"No, no.....! Calm down," the man replies..... ... "This will say ADIDAS in a minute...... .....!!!"

[bumblebee]

JCB123 said:

Agoogy said:

Project 644 said:

Agoogy said:

BarnatosGhost said:

Agoogy said:

a 3 legged donkey playing the piano?

plinky plonky wonky donkey

And if he's from Louisiana and not playing very well?

A Shonky Honky Tonky Plinky Plonky Wonky Donkey.

What?

very nice!

And if He's only got one eye, a Shonky Honky Tonky Plinky Plonky Winky Wonky Donkey.

A bit nervous of continuing this... but I've heard somehwere of a very fit and fashionable primate riding this donkey....

He's a funky hunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky winky wonky donkey

Oh yeah, wasn't this the 3 legged, piano playing, one eyed donkey, ridden by a very fit and fashionable primate wearing clogs?

You know, the clinky clonky funky hunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky winky wonky donkey!

And if this donkey has a bit of a personal hygiene problem.....

That makes him a :clinky clonky funky hunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey!

[North West Tom]

bumblebee said:

JCB123 said:

Agoogy said:

Project 644 said:

Agoogy said:

BarnatosGhost said:

Agoogy said:

a 3 legged donkey playing the piano?

plinky plonky wonky donkey

And if he's from Louisiana and not playing very well?

A Shonky Honky Tonky Plinky Plonky Wonky Donkey.

What?

very nice!

And if He's only got one eye, a Shonky Honky Tonky Plinky Plonky Winky Wonky Donkey.

A bit nervous of continuing this... but I've heard somehwere of a very fit and fashionable primate riding this donkey....

He's a funky hunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky winky wonky donkey

Oh yeah, wasn't this the 3 legged, piano playing, one eyed donkey, ridden by a very fit and fashionable primate wearing clogs?

You know, the clinky clonky funky hunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky winky wonky donkey!

And if this donkey has a bit of a personal hygiene problem.....

That makes him a :clinky clonky funky hunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey!

And if it's sex-mad...

clinky clonky funky hunky spunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey

[andy400]

North West Tom said:

And if it's sex-mad...

clinky clonky funky hunky spunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey

With deviant tendencies....

kinky clinky clonky funky hunky spunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey

[daveenty]

I've got Gammon Flu.

I originally had Swine flu, but I went to hospital and they cured me.



Apologies if repost, but not seen it here before

[andy400]

andy400 said:

North West Tom said:

And if it's sex-mad...

clinky clonky funky hunky spunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey

With deviant tendencies....

kinky clinky clonky funky hunky spunky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey

And a drug problem.

kinky clinky clonky funky hunky spunky junky monkey on a shonky honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonky donkey

[North West Tom]

Rumour has it that the burst banks of the rivers in Cockermouth contain gold. People went looking for it but only found some copper.

[gti tim]

Prick. Really funny. Someone gives their life helping to save others. .

[North West Tom]

There was a joke above about the same situation. Why not call him?

This is a 'joke' thread. Sorry if it caused offence.

[gti tim]

Because I didnt read through endless quotes about plinky plonky junky donkeys.

I find it bad taste that someone gives their life doing their job trying to save others, and within hours its the butt of a joke.

[HereBeMonsters]

gti tim said:

I find it bad taste...

Well then maybe this thread isn't for you.

[sleep envy]

I suggest you never pay a visit to sickipedia then