Things you have done when Drunk ......

[sleep envy]

bigTee said:

Bricked the local pub door up.

Had to smash it down the next day!!!

clerk of works would kick your arse

[james_tigerwoods]

blindswelledrat said:

james_tigerwoods]Epic novel said:

That is an enormous descriptive novel considering all you have to say is that three times you tried to get off with women and failed.
Jesus

I apologise - I'll keep it dumbed down in future

Edited by james_tigerwoods on Friday 20th November 07:29

[The Ben]

NYE a couple of years ago, I went out to my local town and met up with a few guys from uni there. My best mate had said he wanted to get well and truley rat arsed as he had fallen out with his mrs. So I thought this will be hilarious as he always ends up getting into some sort of funny trouble. Anyway, as the nights proceeded we just kept buying him double shots when we had shots and tripple vodkas when we had double etc. I went home about 2/3 in the morn as I was stface, but my mate was worse than me but he wanted to stay out with the lads.
Roll on the next day some time in the afternoon.

looking on facebook on my phone desperatly hungover. Mate and his girlfriend have become single.
so I text him,
Me: Bro, you and your Mrs have split up??
Matt: No why?
Me: ohh im sure I just read that on facebook, but have made a mistake
Matt: im sure I spoke to her last night, you must have been mistaken.

So I look again, definatly says it.
Me: Mate it definatly says it
Matt: Ye I have just seen myself. She wont answer her phone.
Me: ohh right, good luck with that one, didnt think you're argument was that bad yesterday day.
Matt, neither did I? Im wondering what I said to her last night.

Next day I get a phone call from him

Bro, I just found out that 5am I tried to ring her, she wasnt answering her mobile, so I rang the house phone and her mum answered, I told her to get Sarah on the phone, her mum wouldnt becuase it was 5am and she was asleep. I call her mum a , and a spiteful bh, and told her to put her on the fking phone. The phone was then passed to the father. matt then got the same response from the father to which Matt offered him a fight and told him exectly what he was going to do to him if he didnt wake his daughter up now... The phone was put down.

The best part of the story was, he had never even met his girlfriends family as they lived in oxford while she was in Swansea uni with us...

They are stangely engaged now...

[sleep envy]

james_tigerwoods said:

blindswelledrat said:

james_tigerwoods]Epic novel said:

That is an enormous descriptive novel considering all you have to say is that three times you tried to get off with women and failed.
Jesus

I apologise - I'll keep it dumbed down in future

Edited by james_tigerwoods on Friday 20th November 07:29

tbh, your previous posting regarding dumbing down wasn't a huge success

[Fer]

nonegreen said:

On the way back from a free beer do I was annoyed at yet another load of road works opposite my house. I started throwing roadsigns into the hole and shouting a lot. Then this man dressed in black started shouting at me. I said "who are you? " "The polic"e he said "and stop throwing things" "Prove it" I said "sing walking on the moon" "Where do you fking live," he said "There" I said pointing at the house. Then I woke up on the dining room floor with my keys pushed through the letter box. I only know this is true because a neighbour told me he helped the policeman carry me into the house.

Classic! Did you have to move shortly afterwards?

[SydneyP]

- mate had beams in his warehouse flat, found the "lost" remote up there two years after we had spent the night dancing on the beams with the music on full blast

- same mate, scaffolding outside his window (5th floor) turned teh music up so we could hear it outside, then played monkeys. Had to bribe his porter with the take-away we had ordered

- at a work party for grad trainees, open bar but they weren't serving spirits. I negotiated with the barman to buy an optics size (at least 1.5l) bottle of vodka and a case of red bull to "get this party started". Bus ride back into London fell asleep face down on the table on the luxury coach. Woke up, threw up on the table, smell caused at least one other person to puke, then that in turn triggered another one. Within 10mins there was a river of it washing up and down teh bus. Bus driver threw everyone off in traflagar square. Some of the more sober witnesses recall me and a mate disappearing into the night with the remainder of the vodka and half a case of red bull left. Found pocket evidence later of at least one kebab, a stop off at an easy internet cafe (some strange messages in my hotmail outbox) and a visit to a strip club where apparently i checked the vodka and red bull into the cloak room. Woke up next morning with a glass (presume from strip club) couple of cans of red bull still stuffed in my pockets and the remains of the bottle of vodka which I'd carried around until about 5am when apparently i got home.

- leaving Krazy Kangaru in St Anton, barely able to stand, ski-ing back down into down with a pre-mixed bottle of champagne, vodka and red bull passing it around the group as we skied. Went out for dinner, bought a rose for the bar maid I'd been chasing all week from the rose seller, when she refused to take it off me, I apparently ate it.

[skip_1]

blindswelledrat said:

james_tigerwoods]Epic novel said:

That is an enormous descriptive novel considering all you have to say is that three times you tried to get off with women and failed.
Jesus

I like some background to the stories

[hooperpride]

Out last week I seemed to be making good progress with a lass, she then revealed herself to be engaged, after a bit of banter along the lines of does he know your out and a cheeky well done I proceed to pull her.

At the end of the night I am a lot worse for wear and realise my mates have all buggered off leaving me to face a taxi fare home with only a fiver in my pocket. So I put on my most charming face, knowing the lass is going home in my direction, and sure enough her "friend" is coming to pick her up and would be more than happy to give me a lift home, result.

Whilst waiting with her and her friend she then decides to reveal that said friend is in fact her fiance, st! I had to make a decision between a walk home or a lift, it was cold and I had sent my jacket home with a mate so I opted for the lift. 10 minutes later fiance turns up and I jump in saying cheers for the lift etc. To my surprise she gets in the back of the car with me while her friend gets in the front?! She then starts to hold my hand, having rapidly sobered up due to the cold I tell the fiance to stop the car and jump out a good half hour from home.

I woke the next morning with a strange feeling I am led to believe is guilt.

Never again.

[bubblehead]

Ha Ha some nice stories here that have had me and my two boys pissing ourselves laughing......it strikes me as only fair that i contribute a wee bit...well i've spent the last 26 years in the service of my country .......so many regretable incidents....so many stupid moments....oh yes it's been fun!

OK i can do this chronologically but it may take about 2,000 posts, but hey thats a good sign. When i joined up you where taken ashore for your first piss up and were shown how to behave.....not a bad thing at all.

Do you remember the bins they called Daleks ? Belive it or not they are suprisingly warm and comfortable after you have failled to pull and misssed the last ferry home. My first run ashore after training resulted in me and two mates surfacing from said bins in the middle of the morning rush hour at Portsmouth harbour.......the whole platform full of commuters and the BR staff cheered and the old girl in the buffet(thats what they called them then hone gave us tea and a bacon roll for free.....

Well that was the start of a well trodden and time honered route for sailors......Many many pee, poo, parents, other mates parents and tbh crazy st that has happened.......

have i regretted any of it ?

Yep on occassion........the fit german bird (who was a friend of the family i was intrusted to look after),i abused her by pi**ing on her after a particularly wild night out. Lady boys....ha ha ....more lady boys .....ha ha ha.....freaks.....wes.......slags.....chubbies.....mad men.....loony tunes....zepplin's....no neck's....orphans....fuglies....plumb lines...etc etc etc hang on a min.......no i regret none of it......apart from Craigs mum which i can explain.

Oops think i've had a few!!!!

[JamesM]

Uni booze cruise. £20 all you can drink.
I got completely fking tanked. My mate's enduring memory of the night was watching a properly fit bird come on to me and try to hold my hand after I'd apparently done an alright job of chatting her up. I rewarded her hand holding attempt with a high five.

[sleep envy]

[alliray]

Touring Remo said:

alliray said:

Forgot to mention, I attended a "party" that made the front page of the news of the world, and sat stting myself for 3 months after because I was so wasted I couldnt remember whether or not I'd done anything TOO bad!

Do tell us more.....

Really don't want to elaborate too much for genuine fear of reprisals. People were arrested and people lost their jobs. From what I remember from earlier that evening if you picture the scene in the cinema from the gremlins movie and add a heavy dose of every type of bodily fluid you wouldn't be far off the mark.

I was so pissed I didn't realize just how bad things were until my missus stuffed the paper under my nose on the Sunday morning and demanded to know just what had gone on.

[Famous Graham]

nonegreen said:

I said "who are you? " "The polic"e he said "and stop throwing things" "Prove it" I said "sing walking on the moon"

[Touring Remo]

alliray said:

Touring Remo said:

alliray said:

Forgot to mention, I attended a "party" that made the front page of the news of the world, and sat stting myself for 3 months after because I was so wasted I couldnt remember whether or not I'd done anything TOO bad!

Do tell us more.....

Really don't want to elaborate too much for genuine fear of reprisals. People were arrested and people lost their jobs. From what I remember from earlier that evening if you picture the scene in the cinema from the gremlins movie and add a heavy dose of every type of bodily fluid you wouldn't be far off the mark.

I was so pissed I didn't realize just how bad things were until my missus stuffed the paper under my nose on the Sunday morning and demanded to know just what had gone on.

roughly, a date so we can go away and google lol

[alliray]

I'm sure you can narrow it down that way any way!


Not too many non celebrity parties make the front page of a national sunday newspaper!

Edited by alliray on Saturday 21st November 23:59

Edited by alliray on Sunday 22 November 00:00

[HereBeMonsters]

alliray said:

ot too many non celebrity parties make the front page of a national sunday newspaper!

There was one I went to when I was about 15 in Sandhurst that did. "300 Gatecrashers Wreck Home Alone Girl's Quiet Night In" was the headline I seem to recall.

By the time we got there all the furniture was out on the lawn, on fire, almost every fixture and fitting in the house had been broken and there was piss, blood and food all over the walls.
When the Police turned up, the people in the back garden broke a brick wall down to escape. We ran away through some woods back to our mate's house, and I ended copping off with a very tasty sort in the darkness.

[Hartge210]

Did you shag Justine Hawkins?

[bazking69]

The Ben said:

They are stangely engaged now...

The best man will have a field day with that one at the reception speech!

[F93]

Several stupid things.

Pulled a really hot girl around this time of year in 2007. I saw her a month ago, she's now plump, and apparently was when I pulled her :S

When incredibly drunk, pulled a guy... who then texted me the next day saying 'I think you're all I want'
Thankfully never saw him again but still get the piss taken out of me for it. Never again though. :s

When drunk and stoned, with the giggles in full swing, ran on a skateboard ramp... I still have a scar on my shin, and I still don't know how I didn't kill myself.

[al1991]

SydneyP said:

a visit to a strip club where apparently i checked the vodka and red bull into the cloak room