Godparents
Author
Discussion

tossbag

Original Poster:

1,590 posts

232 months

Friday 20th November 2009
quotequote all
Hi all, I have about 3 weeks until becoming a dad, yay! This has sparked a thought in my otherwise dormant mind.
Ignoring the religous debates, how do people decide on godparents, and are family generally a good choice?
I ask really hypothetically, not sure how I stand on christenings, but say my brother wouldn't be a first choice, but should he be?
What in your experience are the correct protocols?

Rufus

1,518 posts

233 months

Friday 20th November 2009
quotequote all
tossbag said:
Hi all, I have about 3 weeks until becoming a dad, yay! This has sparked a thought in my otherwise dormant mind.
Ignoring the religous debates, how do people decide on godparents, and are family generally a good choice?
I ask really hypothetically, not sure how I stand on christenings, but say my brother wouldn't be a first choice, but should he be?
What in your experience are the correct protocols?
For all of ours, we chose one family member, aunt or uncle works best. One friend of mine and one friend of my wifes. What with me being an only child, my wife only having two sisters, one of our family ones had to be an un-blood related uncle. Best to choose people who you know haven't already got hundreds, my wife's best friend for example didn't ever have children, so has been asked by loads of people to be Godmother, try and go for friends who may have only one or two at the most. also, make it even between your children if you have more, my youngest has only two to the others three which has always been a bone of contention.

Hope this is in someway helpful smile

tossbag

Original Poster:

1,590 posts

232 months

Friday 20th November 2009
quotequote all
Rufus said:
tossbag said:
Hi all, I have about 3 weeks until becoming a dad, yay! This has sparked a thought in my otherwise dormant mind.
Ignoring the religous debates, how do people decide on godparents, and are family generally a good choice?
I ask really hypothetically, not sure how I stand on christenings, but say my brother wouldn't be a first choice, but should he be?
What in your experience are the correct protocols?
For all of ours, we chose one family member, aunt or uncle works best. One friend of mine and one friend of my wifes. What with me being an only child, my wife only having two sisters, one of our family ones had to be an un-blood related uncle. Best to choose people who you know haven't already got hundreds, my wife's best friend for example didn't ever have children, so has been asked by loads of people to be Godmother, try and go for friends who may have only one or two at the most. also, make it even between your children if you have more, my youngest has only two to the others three which has always been a bone of contention.

Hope this is in someway helpful smile
Extrememly helpful, thank you, you raised some points I hadn't even considered.

stemll

5,340 posts

226 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
tossbag said:
Ignoring the religous debates
How exactly? Asking someone to become a godparent means them standing at the front during the baptism and declaring that they will ensure that the child receives a religious upbringing. Also, if the baptism is CoE then the godparents need to be baptised too. If Catholic then godparents have to be confirmed Catholics themselves.

"For every child to be baptised there shall be not fewer than three godparents, of whom at least two shall be of the same sex as the child and of whom at least one shall be of the opposite sex; save that, when three cannot conveniently be had, one godfather and god mother shall suffice. Parents may be godparents for their own children provided that the child has at least one other godparent.

The godparents shall be persons who will faithfully fulfil their responsibilities both by their care for the children committed to their charge and by the example of their own godly living."


For CoE, the parents and godparents will need to answer the following before the baptism.

Will you pray for them (the children), draw them by your example into the community of faith and walk with the in the way of Christ?
With the help of God we will.

Will you care for them (the children) and help them take their place within the life and worship of Christ's Church?
With the help of God we will.

They are then asked these six questions which they all answer together:

Do you reject the devil and all rebellion against God?
I reject them.

Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil?
I renounce them.

Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour?
I repent of them.

Do you turn to Christ as Saviour?
I turn to Christ.

Do you submit to Christ as Lord?
I submit to Christ.

Do you come to Christ, the way, the truth and the life?
I come to Christ.

tossbag

Original Poster:

1,590 posts

232 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
stemll said:
tossbag said:
Ignoring the religous debates
How exactly? Asking someone to become a godparent means them standing at the front during the baptism and declaring that they will ensure that the child receives a religious upbringing. Also, if the baptism is CoE then the godparents need to be baptised too. If Catholic then godparents have to be confirmed Catholics themselves.

"For every child to be baptised there shall be not fewer than three godparents, of whom at least two shall be of the same sex as the child and of whom at least one shall be of the opposite sex; save that, when three cannot conveniently be had, one godfather and god mother shall suffice. Parents may be godparents for their own children provided that the child has at least one other godparent.

The godparents shall be persons who will faithfully fulfil their responsibilities both by their care for the children committed to their charge and by the example of their own godly living."


For CoE, the parents and godparents will need to answer the following before the baptism.

Will you pray for them (the children), draw them by your example into the community of faith and walk with the in the way of Christ?
With the help of God we will.

Will you care for them (the children) and help them take their place within the life and worship of Christ's Church?
With the help of God we will.

They are then asked these six questions which they all answer together:

Do you reject the devil and all rebellion against God?
I reject them.

Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil?
I renounce them.

Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour?
I repent of them.

Do you turn to Christ as Saviour?
I turn to Christ.

Do you submit to Christ as Lord?
I submit to Christ.

Do you come to Christ, the way, the truth and the life?
I come to Christ.
Maybe I should have said 'Setting aside religous debate for now' then, as in, I have my own beliefs but was asking a different question entirely.
Thanks for the semi indignant reply though.

sday12

5,067 posts

237 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
Make sure that you will know them in years to come, no point having a Godparent who buggers off in a few years,


Mine:

Boy 1: Best Man, Maid of Honour (Sister in Law)

Boy 2: Sister, Brother in Law (just after his confirmation) and close friend.


Mix it up a bit!

croyde

25,931 posts

256 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
Amongst our lot it seems that the wives were trying to out do each other on the number of God parents for each child born amongst our now very depleted social circle. Its so bad that 10 years down the line I can't remember who most of are our kids God parents are, yet I do know a few that seem to have forgotten their dutiesbiggrin

As I have forgotton who I am supposed to be a God parent to.frown

jas xjr

11,309 posts

265 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
a female friend of mine wants ME ( wink )to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?

Edited by jas xjr on Saturday 21st November 16:37

Plotloss

67,280 posts

296 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
You just got to the service, go through the motions and carry on as you were.

Cara Van Man

29,977 posts

277 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
Not christened my littlun as I don't believe in any of that tosh.

croyde

25,931 posts

256 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
So she wants to be a godfather to her own child! biggrin

jas xjr

11,309 posts

265 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
croyde said:
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
So she wants to be a godfather to her own child! biggrin
in my defence i was working wink

original post edited for stupidity

croyde

25,931 posts

256 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
Now it makes me look stoopid. smile

Meteor Madness

421 posts

228 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
stemll said:
tossbag said:
Ignoring the religous debates
How exactly? Asking someone to become a godparent means them standing at the front during the baptism and declaring that they will ensure that the child receives a religious upbringing. Also, if the baptism is CoE then the godparents need to be baptised too. If Catholic then godparents have to be confirmed Catholics themselves.

"For every child to be baptised there shall be not fewer than three godparents, of whom at least two shall be of the same sex as the child and of whom at least one shall be of the opposite sex; save that, when three cannot conveniently be had, one godfather and god mother shall suffice. Parents may be godparents for their own children provided that the child has at least one other godparent.

The godparents shall be persons who will faithfully fulfil their responsibilities both by their care for the children committed to their charge and by the example of their own godly living."


For CoE, the parents and godparents will need to answer the following before the baptism.

Will you pray for them (the children), draw them by your example into the community of faith and walk with the in the way of Christ?
With the help of God we will.

Will you care for them (the children) and help them take their place within the life and worship of Christ's Church?
With the help of God we will.

They are then asked these six questions which they all answer together:

Do you reject the devil and all rebellion against God?
I reject them.

Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil?
I renounce them.

Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour?
I repent of them.

Do you turn to Christ as Saviour?
I turn to Christ.

Do you submit to Christ as Lord?
I submit to Christ.

Do you come to Christ, the way, the truth and the life?
I come to Christ.
So much irony here I don't know where to start. Since when can the Christian church lecture people on Deceit, Corruption, and taking care of children ?


croyde

25,931 posts

256 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
'Cos they are very good at the first two and a bit too good with the third.

NuisanceFactor

295 posts

210 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants ME ( wink )to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
If it were me I would thank her, and let her know that you really appreciate that she thought of you as a role model, but that as you don't practice any religion it would be hypocritical of you to be a godparent.

However, if you want to remain in contact with the child, help with guidance and be there for them if/when needed, then you could offer to do just that. You don't need to be religious or to go through a ceremony to do that.

jas xjr

11,309 posts

265 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
NuisanceFactor said:
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants ME ( wink )to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
If it were me I would thank her, and let her know that you really appreciate that she thought of you as a role model, but that as you don't practice any religion it would be hypocritical of you to be a godparent.

However, if you want to remain in contact with the child, help with guidance and be there for them if/when needed, then you could offer to do just that. You don't need to be religious or to go through a ceremony to do that.
i do not need the formality of a ceremony. i will always look out for my dear friend and her child(ren). just did not want to rock the boat. anyway will have to wait till she has a child.

miniman

29,643 posts

288 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
stemll said:
Also, if the baptism is CoE then the godparents need to be baptised too.
whistle

t11ner

7,178 posts

221 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
NuisanceFactor said:
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants ME ( wink )to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
If it were me I would thank her, and let her know that you really appreciate that she thought of you as a role model, but that as you don't practice any religion it would be hypocritical of you to be a godparent.

However, if you want to remain in contact with the child, help with guidance and be there for them if/when needed, then you could offer to do just that. You don't need to be religious or to go through a ceremony to do that.
I've been in the same situation and had to tactfully turn down being the godfather to one of my brothers kids. I've now been asked again by my best mate and he's made it clear that it's more about the idea of having someone who would take some responsibility for the kid if anything ever happened to him and not about the religious bit so I've agreed but I think it's going to be a pretty uncomfortable feeling renouncing the devil etc rolleyes.

sday12

5,067 posts

237 months

Saturday 21st November 2009
quotequote all
t11ner said:
NuisanceFactor said:
jas xjr said:
a female friend of mine wants ME ( wink )to be a godfather when she has a baby. trouble is i do not practice any religion. what would happen in this case?
If it were me I would thank her, and let her know that you really appreciate that she thought of you as a role model, but that as you don't practice any religion it would be hypocritical of you to be a godparent.

However, if you want to remain in contact with the child, help with guidance and be there for them if/when needed, then you could offer to do just that. You don't need to be religious or to go through a ceremony to do that.
I've been in the same situation and had to tactfully turn down being the godfather to one of my brothers kids. I've now been asked again by my best mate and he's made it clear that it's more about the idea of having someone who would take some responsibility for the kid if anything ever happened to him and not about the religious bit so I've agreed but I think it's going to be a pretty uncomfortable feeling renouncing the devil etc rolleyes.
Grow a pair and don't do it evil