Match.com (Volume 5)
Discussion
AyBee said:
Disco You said:
I just have no idea why you would use Internet dating to find male friends... Or what sort of a fruit loop would lie about that.
There's only one way to find out... 
I don't have a profile
There are 600+ women, aged 18-21 within 35 miles of me who are on there. 18-21!!! Shouldnt they be out in bars meeting people the way I did at that age?? Not spending time on dating websites for gods sake.
That said......
I've given up on dating sites as a way of meeting anyone for the long-term...
An example - OKC profile: 90% Match, 88% Friend, 3% Enemy (WTF?) and the same interests (could almost have been reading my own profile) both within each others age / distance criteria. Sent a reasonable length message, obviously showing I'd read her profile (appropriate level of wit and references) and even asked her to just reply with 'no thanks' if not interested...
Saw that she had viewed my profile (presumably after reading message) and then next time I looked - expecting a reply of some sort (hopefully positive) and I've been blocked!!!! WTF?
Obviously not interested in her now anyway - common courtesy is right at the top of my list - but why would you do that, if you really are looking for a relationship?
Perhaps you ladies here can enlighten me? (BUt NO, I'm not posting a link to my profile on here!) It is the behaviour I don't understand - I know I'm no oil painting and it's no big deal if someone just doesn't fancy me, but how f
king rude can you be?
Conversely, when I first went on dating sites, just wanting a bit of fun, almost everyone replied, I met a few and DID have a bit of fun
An example - OKC profile: 90% Match, 88% Friend, 3% Enemy (WTF?) and the same interests (could almost have been reading my own profile) both within each others age / distance criteria. Sent a reasonable length message, obviously showing I'd read her profile (appropriate level of wit and references) and even asked her to just reply with 'no thanks' if not interested...
Saw that she had viewed my profile (presumably after reading message) and then next time I looked - expecting a reply of some sort (hopefully positive) and I've been blocked!!!! WTF?
Obviously not interested in her now anyway - common courtesy is right at the top of my list - but why would you do that, if you really are looking for a relationship?
Perhaps you ladies here can enlighten me? (BUt NO, I'm not posting a link to my profile on here!) It is the behaviour I don't understand - I know I'm no oil painting and it's no big deal if someone just doesn't fancy me, but how f
king rude can you be?Conversely, when I first went on dating sites, just wanting a bit of fun, almost everyone replied, I met a few and DID have a bit of fun
kVA said:
I've given up on dating sites as a way of meeting anyone for the long-term...
An example - OKC profile: 90% Match, 88% Friend, 3% Enemy (WTF?) and the same interests (could almost have been reading my own profile) both within each others age / distance criteria. Sent a reasonable length message, obviously showing I'd read her profile (appropriate level of wit and references) and even asked her to just reply with 'no thanks' if not interested...
Saw that she had viewed my profile (presumably after reading message) and then next time I looked - expecting a reply of some sort (hopefully positive) and I've been blocked!!!! WTF?
Obviously not interested in her now anyway - common courtesy is right at the top of my list - but why would you do that, if you really are looking for a relationship?
Perhaps you ladies here can enlighten me? (BUt NO, I'm not posting a link to my profile on here!) It is the behaviour I don't understand - I know I'm no oil painting and it's no big deal if someone just doesn't fancy me, but how fking rude can you be?
Conversely, when I first went on dating sites, just wanting a bit of fun, almost everyone replied, I met a few and DID have a bit of fun
She can smell your desparationAn example - OKC profile: 90% Match, 88% Friend, 3% Enemy (WTF?) and the same interests (could almost have been reading my own profile) both within each others age / distance criteria. Sent a reasonable length message, obviously showing I'd read her profile (appropriate level of wit and references) and even asked her to just reply with 'no thanks' if not interested...
Saw that she had viewed my profile (presumably after reading message) and then next time I looked - expecting a reply of some sort (hopefully positive) and I've been blocked!!!! WTF?
Obviously not interested in her now anyway - common courtesy is right at the top of my list - but why would you do that, if you really are looking for a relationship?
Perhaps you ladies here can enlighten me? (BUt NO, I'm not posting a link to my profile on here!) It is the behaviour I don't understand - I know I'm no oil painting and it's no big deal if someone just doesn't fancy me, but how f
king rude can you be?Conversely, when I first went on dating sites, just wanting a bit of fun, almost everyone replied, I met a few and DID have a bit of fun
kVA said:
I've given up on dating sites as a way of meeting anyone for the long-term...
An example - OKC profile: 90% Match, 88% Friend, 3% Enemy (WTF?) and the same interests (could almost have been reading my own profile) both within each others age / distance criteria. Sent a reasonable length message, obviously showing I'd read her profile (appropriate level of wit and references) and even asked her to just reply with 'no thanks' if not interested...
Saw that she had viewed my profile (presumably after reading message) and then next time I looked - expecting a reply of some sort (hopefully positive) and I've been blocked!!!! WTF?
Obviously not interested in her now anyway - common courtesy is right at the top of my list - but why would you do that, if you really are looking for a relationship?
Perhaps you ladies here can enlighten me? (BUt NO, I'm not posting a link to my profile on here!) It is the behaviour I don't understand - I know I'm no oil painting and it's no big deal if someone just doesn't fancy me, but how fking rude can you be?
Conversely, when I first went on dating sites, just wanting a bit of fun, almost everyone replied, I met a few and DID have a bit of fun
Same thing happened to me. I messaged a woman, pretty brief message, but she replied within a couple of hours, I then messaged her again asking if she wanted to have a proper chat, told her a few things about myself, and said if she's not interested then just let me know either way. 4 days later not heard anything. Women are strange creatures...An example - OKC profile: 90% Match, 88% Friend, 3% Enemy (WTF?) and the same interests (could almost have been reading my own profile) both within each others age / distance criteria. Sent a reasonable length message, obviously showing I'd read her profile (appropriate level of wit and references) and even asked her to just reply with 'no thanks' if not interested...
Saw that she had viewed my profile (presumably after reading message) and then next time I looked - expecting a reply of some sort (hopefully positive) and I've been blocked!!!! WTF?
Obviously not interested in her now anyway - common courtesy is right at the top of my list - but why would you do that, if you really are looking for a relationship?
Perhaps you ladies here can enlighten me? (BUt NO, I'm not posting a link to my profile on here!) It is the behaviour I don't understand - I know I'm no oil painting and it's no big deal if someone just doesn't fancy me, but how f
king rude can you be?Conversely, when I first went on dating sites, just wanting a bit of fun, almost everyone replied, I met a few and DID have a bit of fun
spikeyhead said:
She can smell your desparation
Maybe Ha ha, But I don't understand why they can't just ping a quick message back saying "sorry not my type" or something and then just hide me or something... I know the ladies get tons of messages and I could understand if they only even look at the profiles of ones they are interested in, but to have clearly read the message, looked at the profile and then not had the courtesy to say something is just bloody rude!!! (No wonder they're single - I wouldn't want to be with anyone who thinks that is acceptable behaviour, either
)On a serious note: I have just joined OKC for the first time and it is a bit bizarre knowing someone's most intimate sexual preferences before you even know their real name, isn't it? Is Council Baby responsible for the question that says "Would you like your partner to be kinkier than you?"
Mr Happy said:
The ones that confuse me are the ones that say "I want to meet you" on POF, and then when you message them back to say hello - you get blanked...
I mean I could kinda understand looking and saying nothing, but looking, saying "lets meet!" and then saying nothing... mental!
Yup, been there, done that!I mean I could kinda understand looking and saying nothing, but looking, saying "lets meet!" and then saying nothing... mental!
Mr Happy said:
The ones that confuse me are the ones that say "I want to meet you" on POF, and then when you message them back to say hello - you get blanked...
I mean I could kinda understand looking and saying nothing, but looking, saying "lets meet!" and then saying nothing... mental!
Even more bizarre are the ones that choose "I'm hesitant and not sure if I want to meet anyone" when asked by one of the OKC questions!!! WTF is the point of being on a 'DATING' site, if you don't actually ever intend to date anyone!!!!! I think the World has gone mad and some people are clearly satisfied with just having a 'virtual' relationship, these days!!!I mean I could kinda understand looking and saying nothing, but looking, saying "lets meet!" and then saying nothing... mental!
Sadly, after two bouts of attempting internet dating (either end of a 2 year on/off relationship with someone I met on Match and POF), I have come to the conclusion that the overwhelming majority of women on there are now unlikely to ever be able to stay in a relationship again: I think this mentality of keep checking the field, even when you are chatting with someone you seem to be getting on with, is creating a 'grass might be greener' mindset and instead of finding someone with a few common interests and then trying to make a go of it (like you would in 'real life'), they put in just enough effort to string you along until they are CERTAIN they won't land a better fish....
Beginning to think it's quite unhealthy, actually and going to pack it in and go back to meeting real people, the old fashioned way...
kVA said:
Even more bizarre are the ones that choose "I'm hesitant and not sure if I want to meet anyone" when asked by one of the OKC questions!!! WTF is the point of being on a 'DATING' site, if you don't actually ever intend to date anyone!!!!! I think the World has gone mad and some people are clearly satisfied with just having a 'virtual' relationship, these days!!!
Sadly, after two bouts of attempting internet dating (either end of a 2 year on/off relationship with someone I met on Match and POF), I have come to the conclusion that the overwhelming majority of women on there are now unlikely to ever be able to stay in a relationship again: I think this mentality of keep checking the field, even when you are chatting with someone you seem to be getting on with, is creating a 'grass might be greener' mindset and instead of finding someone with a few common interests and then trying to make a go of it (like you would in 'real life'), they put in just enough effort to string you along until they are CERTAIN they won't land a better fish....
Beginning to think it's quite unhealthy, actually and going to pack it in and go back to meeting real people, the old fashioned way...
I'm in 100% agreement with you there, this whole online dating lark is probably doing more to mess up most people's chances of a long-standing relationship, than it helps create them.Sadly, after two bouts of attempting internet dating (either end of a 2 year on/off relationship with someone I met on Match and POF), I have come to the conclusion that the overwhelming majority of women on there are now unlikely to ever be able to stay in a relationship again: I think this mentality of keep checking the field, even when you are chatting with someone you seem to be getting on with, is creating a 'grass might be greener' mindset and instead of finding someone with a few common interests and then trying to make a go of it (like you would in 'real life'), they put in just enough effort to string you along until they are CERTAIN they won't land a better fish....
Beginning to think it's quite unhealthy, actually and going to pack it in and go back to meeting real people, the old fashioned way...
IMO is the epitome of social laziness, and generally if people don't have to work for something, they begin to treat it as a disposable item.
kVA said:
Beginning to think it's quite unhealthy, actually and going to pack it in and go back to meeting real people, the old fashioned way...
I fully agree and think it does promote this kind of "window shopping" mentality which I think has blighted the last couple of years relationships for me through a sense of "Meh, let's see what happens".I've met a nice lass in the last few weeks though and whilst it all seems to be quite slow going, actually we've got lots in common and seem to get on pretty well. I've apparently passed the "daughter test" which was fairly nervewracking!
Carthage I do think that the internet dating sites become the fall back option... as soon as something gets difficult it's far easier to run back to the net, search out the next sod of greener grass and jog on. I do feel that something is being lost along the way to building good relationships.
I hate the idea of transient relationships - they are not for me and I do wonder for how many people the same thing is true. I do wonder how many people become very disolusioned and disaffected by their net experiences, yet in their need to find a relationship go back time and time again and in effect end up becoming pretty much permanently changed by the experience.
Sometimes, you have to know when to stop one way of doing things and try something else. Best do it before the disolusionment sets in when you run the risk of leaving a deeper and more permanent scar.
I hate the idea of transient relationships - they are not for me and I do wonder for how many people the same thing is true. I do wonder how many people become very disolusioned and disaffected by their net experiences, yet in their need to find a relationship go back time and time again and in effect end up becoming pretty much permanently changed by the experience.
Sometimes, you have to know when to stop one way of doing things and try something else. Best do it before the disolusionment sets in when you run the risk of leaving a deeper and more permanent scar.
Some sound thinking in the last few posts, glad its just not me that's getting the same issues with net dating.
I have a date tonight with a girl who it seems is just too perfect to be true, I know we will have a great long evening, they always are, but its bound to be a disaster after that and go from multi texting all day for a week before to either never hearing from her again the day after the date, or she will continue to keenly text for another week after, saying she wants to meet up again but not commit to an actual day/time, for it to finally wither to nothing.
I never used to think like that about going on a date until my recent experiences online.
The problem is they build up an overall mental picture of you beforehand that you can never then live up to when you meet. They usually say during the pre meeting phase that personality is more important than looks, and so far they have all recognised me straight away, say I look like my photos, but just like real world dating you have to fancy someone first and then see if your compatible not the other way around.
I have a date tonight with a girl who it seems is just too perfect to be true, I know we will have a great long evening, they always are, but its bound to be a disaster after that and go from multi texting all day for a week before to either never hearing from her again the day after the date, or she will continue to keenly text for another week after, saying she wants to meet up again but not commit to an actual day/time, for it to finally wither to nothing.
I never used to think like that about going on a date until my recent experiences online.
The problem is they build up an overall mental picture of you beforehand that you can never then live up to when you meet. They usually say during the pre meeting phase that personality is more important than looks, and so far they have all recognised me straight away, say I look like my photos, but just like real world dating you have to fancy someone first and then see if your compatible not the other way around.
Edited by PAUL500 on Saturday 18th May 09:50
if you look at how people behave on the internet in general, it isn't the same as real life. It's depersonalised because of the perceived distance and lack of obvious cues to it being a real person you are interacting with. It isn't an issue with internet dating as such; more an issue of the internet and how it changes our social manner and conduct. What you should definitely not do is take it personally, but go in with your eyes open and probably a relatively thick skin. You could say the real world of dating can be brutal too, this just accelerates it in some places, turns up the gain knob in others, and makes it overall a bit clinical, but that's the way it is. You don't have to sign up, and you don't have to stay if you do, but a lovely, romantic, caring and kind place it is not. Not everyone behaves that way, and Mrs 2CV was certainly a rare human in the sea of nutters, tards and bhes. At least you find out of they're a mong right away rather than after 5 years, marriage and a kid.
hes. At least you find out of they're a mong right away rather than after 5 years, marriage and a kid. But, as others have alluded to, for many people Internet life is becoming real life...
The acceptability of ignoring someone who is talking to you, is starting to carry over into real life, sadly, to the point where some people actually believe that it is perfectly OK to ignore someone who is trying to communicate with you - eye contact / and or actually speaking!
Quite scary really - the whole World has changed massively since social networking became available. I don't think it is now possible to fully go back to old-fashioned dating, anyway: Even if the person you meet in a bar, club, sports event, or supermarket, is not actually on any dating sites, 5 minutes Googling can reveal a lot of stuff about you, that can easily be taken out of context...
(Although, having said that, I recently discovered someone with literally ZERO Google footprint!!!! Address, own business, full name all Googled and NOTHING!!!! - How is that possible?)
The acceptability of ignoring someone who is talking to you, is starting to carry over into real life, sadly, to the point where some people actually believe that it is perfectly OK to ignore someone who is trying to communicate with you - eye contact / and or actually speaking!
Quite scary really - the whole World has changed massively since social networking became available. I don't think it is now possible to fully go back to old-fashioned dating, anyway: Even if the person you meet in a bar, club, sports event, or supermarket, is not actually on any dating sites, 5 minutes Googling can reveal a lot of stuff about you, that can easily be taken out of context...
(Although, having said that, I recently discovered someone with literally ZERO Google footprint!!!! Address, own business, full name all Googled and NOTHING!!!! - How is that possible?)
I think this succinctly sums up why online dating is an absolute waste of time for men.
http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/de...
http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/de...
ujio said:
I think this succinctly sums up why online dating is an absolute waste of time for men.
http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/de...
Massively, even scarily accurate, that!http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/de...
ujio said:
I think this succinctly sums up why online dating is an absolute waste of time for men.
http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/de...
Good find and 100% spot on...http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/de...
I have just deleted my profile on all 3 sites I have been using...
Back to the old-fashioned way, for me
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