Not wanting kids
Discussion
Herbie58 said:
For those of you who are with women who say they don't want kids - assume this will change. Unless your OH is over 35 and saying that, its highly likely the clock will start ticking soon enough........tick...tick....tick (that's the sound of your freedom, bank balance and ability to sleep dropping btw).
Or, the sound of me changing the locks.Sad to say if we are to maintain out Petrolhead existence, petrol heads need to breed. Its essential unless we want to be overrun by Recycling Prius owners.
Trust me there is nothing like seeing the grin on your kids face when you do the school run in a Caterham or a classic Car.
Kids are tough, kids are expensive. I can honestly Say that doing the "Tuck me in" is better than any power slide.
They are certainly a lot easier than women !.
P.S I lied Riley and James are not up for adoption.
Trust me there is nothing like seeing the grin on your kids face when you do the school run in a Caterham or a classic Car.
Kids are tough, kids are expensive. I can honestly Say that doing the "Tuck me in" is better than any power slide.
They are certainly a lot easier than women !.
P.S I lied Riley and James are not up for adoption.
I'm 39 and have two sons ages 8 1/2 and almost 10.
My girlfriend and me have been together for 12 ish years and I was far too busy working hard and playing hard at 29 years old, and hadn't even given fatherhood a thought - I never had the luxury of being able to make a decision either way. Number 1 son came along, and becoming a Dad was totally foreign to me, having zero mates with a kid. 15 months later, and number 2 was born.
I guess my point is, I hadn't even considered becoming a Dad at 29, and by 31, had two of 'em. So far, they've been great kids. It's been tough having two close together, with a helluva lot of compromises in many ways.
My girlfriend and me have been together for 12 ish years and I was far too busy working hard and playing hard at 29 years old, and hadn't even given fatherhood a thought - I never had the luxury of being able to make a decision either way. Number 1 son came along, and becoming a Dad was totally foreign to me, having zero mates with a kid. 15 months later, and number 2 was born.
I guess my point is, I hadn't even considered becoming a Dad at 29, and by 31, had two of 'em. So far, they've been great kids. It's been tough having two close together, with a helluva lot of compromises in many ways.
This thread represents this country as a whole. The very large majority did not want or plan there kiddies, sad for the kids. I think couples should be vetted and then given a licence to be authorised to have them. Honestly, the way these days couples bring there offsprings up is very poor.
I was very ambivalent towards the having kids thing. I love it though.
My lad (3.5 now) used to get taken to the supermarket in my Classic Porsche. You got many dirty looks when you parked in a P&C space which turned to perplexed as you unloaded a baby. The car is gone now but he loves a bit of hard acceleration "do a zoom daddy" in the daily. He also insists that if he goes out with his grandad they take Nannies SLK with the roof down.
He can spot a Porsche and other family members cars before I do.
My daughter likes playing with cars more than dolls and "pretty things" much to MrsBulletts disgust.
They make me laugh on a daily basis and I still do most of the stuff I did before. No one I know with kids life has changed to a massive degree in what they do for fun. Yes, it takes a bit more planning and your wallet gets raped but on balance I think it's worth it.
As petrolheads we have a duty to fill the world with more.
My lad (3.5 now) used to get taken to the supermarket in my Classic Porsche. You got many dirty looks when you parked in a P&C space which turned to perplexed as you unloaded a baby. The car is gone now but he loves a bit of hard acceleration "do a zoom daddy" in the daily. He also insists that if he goes out with his grandad they take Nannies SLK with the roof down.
He can spot a Porsche and other family members cars before I do.
My daughter likes playing with cars more than dolls and "pretty things" much to MrsBulletts disgust.
They make me laugh on a daily basis and I still do most of the stuff I did before. No one I know with kids life has changed to a massive degree in what they do for fun. Yes, it takes a bit more planning and your wallet gets raped but on balance I think it's worth it.
As petrolheads we have a duty to fill the world with more.
Murphy, 15, Joe, 13 and Jake, 6, are probably the best thing that's happened to me other than discovering Pistonheads. Sure, with no significant other to help out (applicants welcome though should ideally have a basic knowledge of motorsport, be able to read a map, like the smell of Castrol R & wild garlic and look like Dannii Minogue) things can get fraught occasionally but hey, we cope.
Folk expect me to appear in an estate car or, heaven forbid, a people carrier but no siree Bob, I'm the proud owner of a Puma. The 2 teenagers do struggle to get in the back but again, we manage! As for money? Yeah, not cheap and obviously I can't just jump at a late availability holiday but when I've had a crap day at work a kickabout in the garden is a great stress reliever - no matter what the weather. Hell, if we run about enough and we squash the grass enough I can pretend that it doesn't need to be cut..
Some people ask why I've got three but I explain (as if I should have to) that it's just the way that things worked out - no regrets at all. When I think of the places we've been and folk we've met I can't help thinking that I'd far rather this than being sat on my own vegetating on the couch talking on internet forums. Oh, hang on...
For the record, Murphy is a Border/Lakeland cross terrier, Joe a Border Collie and Jake a Jack Russell/Daschund cross. Kids? Maybe one day but methinks at 42 that bus may have left!
Folk expect me to appear in an estate car or, heaven forbid, a people carrier but no siree Bob, I'm the proud owner of a Puma. The 2 teenagers do struggle to get in the back but again, we manage! As for money? Yeah, not cheap and obviously I can't just jump at a late availability holiday but when I've had a crap day at work a kickabout in the garden is a great stress reliever - no matter what the weather. Hell, if we run about enough and we squash the grass enough I can pretend that it doesn't need to be cut..
Some people ask why I've got three but I explain (as if I should have to) that it's just the way that things worked out - no regrets at all. When I think of the places we've been and folk we've met I can't help thinking that I'd far rather this than being sat on my own vegetating on the couch talking on internet forums. Oh, hang on...
For the record, Murphy is a Border/Lakeland cross terrier, Joe a Border Collie and Jake a Jack Russell/Daschund cross. Kids? Maybe one day but methinks at 42 that bus may have left!
I have never wanted kids, and after an encounter with a bunny boiler and catching her sticking pin holes in my condom stash, I went to the doctors and asked for the snip, he advised he wouldnt refer me as "i could change my mind" funnily enough I knew my own mind enough to make decisions on a muliti million pound project at the time but not my own fertility.
I rang Marie Stopes who treated me like an adult, £400 and a 30min procedure later I was fixed, in hindsight I wish I had had it done at 18 it would have saved a few frightening moments.
I rang Marie Stopes who treated me like an adult, £400 and a 30min procedure later I was fixed, in hindsight I wish I had had it done at 18 it would have saved a few frightening moments.
TameRacingDriver said:
That's what I do, leave the room, or ignore them. To be fair most people know me better than to expect me to start cooing over their toddler, even my friends who have them know where I stand on the subject 
I just think some people don't have any maternal instinct whatsoever, and speaking from my point of view, much like yourself, its difficult to hide it.
It's easy to get out of that one. Just rush over to them, wide-eyed and slightly manic, then state in a clear, broad voice: "I LIKE TODDLERS!"I just think some people don't have any maternal instinct whatsoever, and speaking from my point of view, much like yourself, its difficult to hide it.
I guarantee they won't bring them in again.
Not in any sort of position to have kids, even if I was I am completely unsure if I'd want the hassle.
Several friends have them, the oldest is nearly 7 and has a 5 year old brother - they're great to spend time with and I think its interesting to show them new things and help them learn. The eldest one is very bright and I hope he can go far, he wants to know "why" and figures stuff out for himself sometimes, the younger one maybe not so bright but wants to know how everything works so its like having an academic and engineer on your hands at times!
They can identify more hot rods than the average PHer (Grandad/Dad influence!) and have been doing so for a couple of years. They love NASCAR and can pretty much name all the drivers given their car number. Anything with a big engine gets the thumbs up.
The best thing ? when they are playing up / giving aggro I just come home, where its relatively quiet and tidy, I don't have to worry about them or sort them out.
Best of both worlds imho.
Several friends have them, the oldest is nearly 7 and has a 5 year old brother - they're great to spend time with and I think its interesting to show them new things and help them learn. The eldest one is very bright and I hope he can go far, he wants to know "why" and figures stuff out for himself sometimes, the younger one maybe not so bright but wants to know how everything works so its like having an academic and engineer on your hands at times!
They can identify more hot rods than the average PHer (Grandad/Dad influence!) and have been doing so for a couple of years. They love NASCAR and can pretty much name all the drivers given their car number. Anything with a big engine gets the thumbs up.
The best thing ? when they are playing up / giving aggro I just come home, where its relatively quiet and tidy, I don't have to worry about them or sort them out.
Best of both worlds imho.
VinceFox said:
Herbie58 said:
For those of you who are with women who say they don't want kids - assume this will change. Unless your OH is over 35 and saying that, its highly likely the clock will start ticking soon enough........tick...tick....tick (that's the sound of your freedom, bank balance and ability to sleep dropping btw).
Or, the sound of me changing the locks.Herbie58 said:
VinceFox said:
Herbie58 said:
For those of you who are with women who say they don't want kids - assume this will change. Unless your OH is over 35 and saying that, its highly likely the clock will start ticking soon enough........tick...tick....tick (that's the sound of your freedom, bank balance and ability to sleep dropping btw).
Or, the sound of me changing the locks.Don't particularly want kids, fiancée (30) absolutely determined not to have them- aside from anything they'd bugger her career up somewhat ATM.
Trouble is she acts almost threatened by them, I wonder sometimes the lady doth protest too much, whether in a couple of years she'll get the mega-maternal.
Trouble is she acts almost threatened by them, I wonder sometimes the lady doth protest too much, whether in a couple of years she'll get the mega-maternal.
WeirdNeville said:
The problem is that if it becomes the sane, rational decision not to have kids, and all the sane rational people make the only logical decision, then we're left with just the proles breeding.
The country would be screwed in a generation.
We need decent people to have decent kids and bring them up right, for future of the nation and humanity as a whole.
It's a real problem in my eyes that the sensible, educated, successful types are restricted to having no, or only one or two children whereas those with very little to commend them bang out offspring like it ain't no thang.
You consider "proles" not capable of being either sane or rational then?The country would be screwed in a generation.
We need decent people to have decent kids and bring them up right, for future of the nation and humanity as a whole.
It's a real problem in my eyes that the sensible, educated, successful types are restricted to having no, or only one or two children whereas those with very little to commend them bang out offspring like it ain't no thang.
Welcome to whats wrong with this country, right here.
WeirdNeville said:
hairyben said:
You consider "proles" not capable of being either sane or rational then?
Welcome to whats wrong with this country, right here.
What, the fact that council estates and social housing the world over are bursting at the seams with children with no role models, no aspirations, no guidance as to a productive and economically viable lifestyle?Welcome to whats wrong with this country, right here.
perhaps I misused "proles" but my sentiment remains unchanged: Successful productive people are inhibited from raising families, it is incentivised in the lower orders.
BlackVanDyke said:
The reason is historical: you needed to have 4 or 6 or so to get reasonable odds of at least 1 reaching adulthood. Of course that's not the case any more but it's become deeply ingrained all over the world, to aspire to a big family rather than it being associated with the poverty and overcrowding it more often brings.
They have just introduced new family planning laws in the Philippines, which now allow and encourage the use of contraception. The biggest opponent has been the Catholic church and its brainwashed followers. Free contraception is now available, whereas it used to be expensive before. god'sunwantedkid said:
The world is over populated.
I was surprised (but pleased) to see this mentioned early on but IMO this isn't considered anywhere near enough by would-be parents. For me this is a very important issue and not because of a concern for adding another to the total - I'm rational enough to realise that one extra on top of >7 billion makes no odds. Of course it sounds very melodramatic, but I'm more concerned about the World a child of mine will live through if starting now or in the next few years (I'm 31, wife 30).There's a huge amount of research out there that shows the current population greatly exceeds Earth's carrying capacity, and that a further 2 billion will be added to our numbers by 2050 (that's the entire population of Earth in 1927 by the way!).
This doesn't sound like things will end up all fine and dandy to me and it will take some pretty incredible developments in the way we generate our energy and produce our food, water etc. to change my opinion.
Of course I could be wrong and the current trajectory could continue onwards, putting us at 12 billion by 2100 with everything hunky-dory. In which case great for Earth and everything on it! I'd be delighted to hold a hand up and admit I was silly.
I'm not some manic depressive by the way - I very enjoy my life and have had a fantastic 'innings' so far, I'm just not wired to have the blind optimism for the future that would be required for me to start a new life off now.
I should also add that, even when ignoring all of the above, neither of us are or have been particularly interested in having children anyway so we're not making a heroic sacrifice!
T S Magnum said:
god'sunwantedkid said:
The world is over populated.
I was surprised (but pleased) to see this mentioned early on but IMO this isn't considered anywhere near enough by would-be parents. For me this is a very important issue and not because of a concern for adding another to the total - I'm rational enough to realise that one extra on top of >7 billion makes no odds. Of course it sounds very melodramatic, but I'm more concerned about the World a child of mine will live through if starting now or in the next few years (I'm 31, wife 30).There's a huge amount of research out there that shows the current population greatly exceeds Earth's carrying capacity, and that a further 2 billion will be added to our numbers by 2050 (that's the entire population of Earth in 1927 by the way!).
This doesn't sound like things will end up all fine and dandy to me and it will take some pretty incredible developments in the way we generate our energy and produce our food, water etc. to change my opinion.
Of course I could be wrong and the current trajectory could continue onwards, putting us at 12 billion by 2100 with everything hunky-dory. In which case great for Earth and everything on it! I'd be delighted to hold a hand up and admit I was silly.
I'm not some manic depressive by the way - I very enjoy my life and have had a fantastic 'innings' so far, I'm just not wired to have the blind optimism for the future that would be required for me to start a new life off now.
I should also add that, even when ignoring all of the above, neither of us are or have been particularly interested in having children anyway so we're not making a heroic sacrifice!
Should be played on prime time National TV once a week.
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