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A couple of weeks ago I had a dream about my wife's incredibly attractive Italian friend...
She was pregnant, didn't know who the father was so in order to avoid scandal, my wife and her concocted a scheme to make me the father. Italian moved in with us, tried unsuccessfully to seduce me, even sneaking into our bed at night to have her wicked way with me. In the end, the baby was born and came out black. The father was revealed to be my wife's other friend's Cameroonian boyfriend.
Completely mental dream; given half a sniff of the Italian girl, she'd be left like a plasterer's radio. Utterly destroyed.
She was pregnant, didn't know who the father was so in order to avoid scandal, my wife and her concocted a scheme to make me the father. Italian moved in with us, tried unsuccessfully to seduce me, even sneaking into our bed at night to have her wicked way with me. In the end, the baby was born and came out black. The father was revealed to be my wife's other friend's Cameroonian boyfriend.
Completely mental dream; given half a sniff of the Italian girl, she'd be left like a plasterer's radio. Utterly destroyed.
I went through a period of having 2 different recurring dreams between the ages of about 8 to 11 years old.
One was that I found myself climbing over huge exposed tree roots in teaming rain and getting nowhere. The other was running home from school as fast as I could but travelling in slow motion.
Still have no idea what either dream means.
One was that I found myself climbing over huge exposed tree roots in teaming rain and getting nowhere. The other was running home from school as fast as I could but travelling in slow motion.
Still have no idea what either dream means.
One that I've had a few times over the last 20 years and even now thinking about it I have to do a check to convince myself it isn't true....
2 cars that I sold in the 80s (Modena Green Mk1 Escort 1300XL and Blue Chrysler Sunbeam 1.3) I didn't sell but left in lock up garages, I wake up in a panic that I need to pay the rent/ need to collect them from 200 miles away.
I have no idea why, niether of them were ever in a lock up. Shame it isn't true about the Escort though!
2 cars that I sold in the 80s (Modena Green Mk1 Escort 1300XL and Blue Chrysler Sunbeam 1.3) I didn't sell but left in lock up garages, I wake up in a panic that I need to pay the rent/ need to collect them from 200 miles away.
I have no idea why, niether of them were ever in a lock up. Shame it isn't true about the Escort though!
I'd go looking for Tom Donaldson. I'd be hovering just down the road from his house, there. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you b
d.' He panics, right? And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? He comes out. 'Oh no! Not me Triumph Stag! I've just had it resprayed!' I cut it right in half, right? And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' He runs up on to the garage roof. I say, 'Right. This is for you, Tom.' He goes, 'No, no!' He's begging us, he's begging us man, 'No, please don't!' And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash into the sea in a big ball of flames.
d.' He panics, right? And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? He comes out. 'Oh no! Not me Triumph Stag! I've just had it resprayed!' I cut it right in half, right? And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' He runs up on to the garage roof. I say, 'Right. This is for you, Tom.' He goes, 'No, no!' He's begging us, he's begging us man, 'No, please don't!' And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash into the sea in a big ball of flames.
I write some of the ones I remember down but some I had when I was younger I'll always remember. One was where I was running along rooftops of houses on a street not far from me when I fell through one roof like a Ghost would. I then started running through the inside of the houses.
Not long ago I'd dreamt I'd taken the kayak down a local beach. When I got back I was on my own and had to lift the kayak up and the win too it and me up like a kite. Managed to hook my feet into the roof bars and bring it back down. Went in the car for the ratchet straps and the wind picked up again and put a whole sand dune in the car.
Dreamt my dad bough a caravan he expected me to tow. My car can't legally two nor do I have licence to. Took it down Gower to an old house/castle and where we parked there was a hole in the ground. This led to a room full of toys from between the 60's and 80's. This dreak was "broken" when a week later when we were looking round my Grandparents new house for the first time, in one of the outbuildings were a pair of old toy Daleks from the 70's
Not long ago I'd dreamt I'd taken the kayak down a local beach. When I got back I was on my own and had to lift the kayak up and the win too it and me up like a kite. Managed to hook my feet into the roof bars and bring it back down. Went in the car for the ratchet straps and the wind picked up again and put a whole sand dune in the car.
Dreamt my dad bough a caravan he expected me to tow. My car can't legally two nor do I have licence to. Took it down Gower to an old house/castle and where we parked there was a hole in the ground. This led to a room full of toys from between the 60's and 80's. This dreak was "broken" when a week later when we were looking round my Grandparents new house for the first time, in one of the outbuildings were a pair of old toy Daleks from the 70's
I started the same topic last year, so I'll re-post what I wrote for that:
I said:
"...dreams occasionally that are just so far removed from logic that you wake up and think "WTF?!?"
I've had a few I can remember:
A while ago I had this one:
There was a jiffy bag waiting for me in the communal postbox. i was confused as i hadnt ordered anything recently. taking it back up into the flat i opened it and a small pile of white powder poured out onto the kitchen table. i was unimpressed and got up and left the kitchen without clearing it up
the next bit is a bit hazy but the next bit i remember is being in dads car being driven through manchester [in the middle of the uni term in bristol???] when my phone rang. for some reason my iphone had morphed into an old fashioned 1990s style flip phone with a pop-out ariel. upon answering it a voice said "hello? matt? its keith from OLLR [a land rover forum where I dont know anyone by the name of Keith...] - dont open the envelope i accidentally sent you [accidentally mailed me a package????] - its full of anthrax"
the next bit i remember was getting back into the flat to find a flatmate of mine clearing up the powder before i could warn them. it was fizzing as they poured water on it... then my alarm clock went off
Another seriously messed up one from the other night:
I was helping a steamroller owning mate of mine crew a pair of showmans engines that didnt belong to anyone [a pair of traction engines plonked at a show that nobody owns??] at the Great Dorset Steam Fair. He got fuming mad with me [in real life he is the most laid back person I know] because i disappeared off during a break to watch the racing at a top fuel dragstrip next door to the showground [which obvisouly doesnt exist in real life] and queued up for hours to meet john force [well known for coming to the UK and racing across a field in the west country] and didnt come back until the it was getting dark
Then when i came back and had been told off, on the following day of the show said mate put me in charge of driving a rollercoaster that was pulled by a rusty old steam locomotive - but soon after, whilst i was driving the train a war broke out and the showground was invaded by Age of Empires style knights and warriors on horseback. Everyone was being killed around me so I sped up the train to maximum to try and get away but the track ahead was blocked by the warriors and we derailed at a chicane corner trying to avoid them - then i woke up
One a mate had recently: he was walking around in a world where everyone's head was enclosed in a tupperware sandwich box [weird enough] but then everyone's heads exploded and they carried on walking around with red-stained sandwich boxes on top of their necks......."
And one from last night:
I was in the village where I used to live, and had just parked me brand new 4x4 that had a VW badge on it, but looked exactly like the Landstalker in GTA4. 5 minutes later I came out the house to find every single panel dented, and went round to the back of it to find a Frank Skinner lookalike putting the finishing touches to the bootlid, when I challenged him I was floored and beaten up but mid way through this plod appeared and arrested him. Then, once again, my alarm went off.
Perhaps I should stop eating marmite on toast for supper
I've had a few I can remember:
A while ago I had this one:
There was a jiffy bag waiting for me in the communal postbox. i was confused as i hadnt ordered anything recently. taking it back up into the flat i opened it and a small pile of white powder poured out onto the kitchen table. i was unimpressed and got up and left the kitchen without clearing it up
the next bit is a bit hazy but the next bit i remember is being in dads car being driven through manchester [in the middle of the uni term in bristol???] when my phone rang. for some reason my iphone had morphed into an old fashioned 1990s style flip phone with a pop-out ariel. upon answering it a voice said "hello? matt? its keith from OLLR [a land rover forum where I dont know anyone by the name of Keith...] - dont open the envelope i accidentally sent you [accidentally mailed me a package????] - its full of anthrax"
the next bit i remember was getting back into the flat to find a flatmate of mine clearing up the powder before i could warn them. it was fizzing as they poured water on it... then my alarm clock went off
Another seriously messed up one from the other night:
I was helping a steamroller owning mate of mine crew a pair of showmans engines that didnt belong to anyone [a pair of traction engines plonked at a show that nobody owns??] at the Great Dorset Steam Fair. He got fuming mad with me [in real life he is the most laid back person I know] because i disappeared off during a break to watch the racing at a top fuel dragstrip next door to the showground [which obvisouly doesnt exist in real life] and queued up for hours to meet john force [well known for coming to the UK and racing across a field in the west country] and didnt come back until the it was getting dark
Then when i came back and had been told off, on the following day of the show said mate put me in charge of driving a rollercoaster that was pulled by a rusty old steam locomotive - but soon after, whilst i was driving the train a war broke out and the showground was invaded by Age of Empires style knights and warriors on horseback. Everyone was being killed around me so I sped up the train to maximum to try and get away but the track ahead was blocked by the warriors and we derailed at a chicane corner trying to avoid them - then i woke up
One a mate had recently: he was walking around in a world where everyone's head was enclosed in a tupperware sandwich box [weird enough] but then everyone's heads exploded and they carried on walking around with red-stained sandwich boxes on top of their necks......."
And one from last night:
I was in the village where I used to live, and had just parked me brand new 4x4 that had a VW badge on it, but looked exactly like the Landstalker in GTA4. 5 minutes later I came out the house to find every single panel dented, and went round to the back of it to find a Frank Skinner lookalike putting the finishing touches to the bootlid, when I challenged him I was floored and beaten up but mid way through this plod appeared and arrested him. Then, once again, my alarm went off.
Perhaps I should stop eating marmite on toast for supper
Edited by airbrakes on Thursday 23 May 23:46
I have a reoccurring nightmare which simply involves putting gerbils into the wrong cage with gerbils they dont know/aren't friendly with.
Do this in real life, a blood bath ensues. Happened a decade ago, brain never forgot the incident.
The dream usually spirals out of control as the number of gerbils Im trying to sort out multiplies, they start escaping and I lose track of which gerbils belong in which cages. So quite lame as nightmares go, but a nightmare nevertheless.
Lucid flying dreams are pure gold when you have them, floating from fencepost to rooftop to driveway to tree. Awesome!
Do this in real life, a blood bath ensues. Happened a decade ago, brain never forgot the incident.
The dream usually spirals out of control as the number of gerbils Im trying to sort out multiplies, they start escaping and I lose track of which gerbils belong in which cages. So quite lame as nightmares go, but a nightmare nevertheless.
Lucid flying dreams are pure gold when you have them, floating from fencepost to rooftop to driveway to tree. Awesome!
I've been having extremely realistic and vivid dreams for a couple of years now which i blame on some tablets I've been prescribed.
A memorable one from when i was a kid - I'm walking along past a row of minature roman columns about 4 ft tall and on each one is a brain, I then end up in the living room and my Mum is at the other end. In slow motion a plug pulls itself out of a wall socket and weaves about then smacks my Mum in the head and knocks her out
Told my Dad about it and he blamed all the Marvel comics I was reading.
A memorable one from when i was a kid - I'm walking along past a row of minature roman columns about 4 ft tall and on each one is a brain, I then end up in the living room and my Mum is at the other end. In slow motion a plug pulls itself out of a wall socket and weaves about then smacks my Mum in the head and knocks her out
Told my Dad about it and he blamed all the Marvel comics I was reading.
airbrakes said:
Really? I thought it was more to do with people like you announcing it to everyone 
Everyone knows you're mat777, it's not a secret. The real victim in all this wasn't you though, it was poor matt777. No-one gave him a thought, oh no, it was all about you, studentus dramaticus, wasn't it?
I always have really vivid clear dreams that I can remember for years to come. About 20 years ago my now best mate and I worked together with three women who were hilareous. The laughter in that job was unreal. Anyway, since leaving the company we have never seen them or heard from them and we always wonder where they are to this day. Also we cannot picture their faces anymore and always say we wouldn't know them if they walked past us. They were in their 50's then so will now be in their 70's. Anyway, last night I dreamt I was at a reunion party of the people who worked in this company. In the dream appeared the three women and I saw their faces as clear as daylight. It was great. I woke up feeling as if I had really met them in real life (daft I know). So now when I think of the dream I can still picture them. Although maybe I still wouldn#t recognise them in the street.
I had a dream last night that my friend Jack and I were in a kind of ninja One Direction. We basically did parkour all the way to the gig, which happened to be in the car-park underneath the Travelodge in Harrogate. Oh and everyone was French. My girlfriend and her friend were there as groupies. There was no gig though. Just the underground car-park. Weird.
As a child I'd have a recurring dream I was falling through darkness with layers of coloured tiles that I'd smash through (think Harlequin VW). Every time I'd come to a layer of tiles to hit it felt similar to what I'd imagine you'd feel if you were about to hit the ground in real life. These dreams never seemed to go on for long though, and sooner or later I'd wake up having "fallen" into bed.
Everyone has that bit in their dreams when they punch someone but it has no power, right?
And waking up thinking you're holding something?
This morning my girlfriend woke me up as she was leaving for work, but I managed to drift back to sleep, as she woke me up a second time I distinctly remember holding a glass of water and spilling it because she made me jump.
As a child I'd have a recurring dream I was falling through darkness with layers of coloured tiles that I'd smash through (think Harlequin VW). Every time I'd come to a layer of tiles to hit it felt similar to what I'd imagine you'd feel if you were about to hit the ground in real life. These dreams never seemed to go on for long though, and sooner or later I'd wake up having "fallen" into bed.
Everyone has that bit in their dreams when they punch someone but it has no power, right?
And waking up thinking you're holding something?
This morning my girlfriend woke me up as she was leaving for work, but I managed to drift back to sleep, as she woke me up a second time I distinctly remember holding a glass of water and spilling it because she made me jump.
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