Classic from the Mrs!
Discussion
Got a nice piece of Walnut, 3x12x15 inches. Nearly ruptured the delivery man.
Unwrapped it, nice, clean finish. Placed it on floor in the hall.
SWMBO ranted on about not wanting dirty bits of wood on the carpet.
I said the chair, table, all furniture was made of wood and stood on the carpet.
Result; a look somewhat between "Smart Arse" and "I would kill you if I had the time".
Unwrapped it, nice, clean finish. Placed it on floor in the hall.
SWMBO ranted on about not wanting dirty bits of wood on the carpet.
I said the chair, table, all furniture was made of wood and stood on the carpet.
Result; a look somewhat between "Smart Arse" and "I would kill you if I had the time".
On holiday the mrs was complaining it was her "time of the month" and how it always comes when she's on holiday blah blah.. Conversation carried on and the mrs asked me if I was going to go swimming in the sea today? I said if I did I wouldn't be going with her.......... She asks why? I reply cos of the sharks!!! And how they can smell blood for miles!! She wasn't sure but she didn't go in the water past her legs!!!
Another
Years ago she was complaining about car damage and I suggested she should get a "force field" alarm like on Star Trek and they sell them in the back of the exchange and mart which I had a copy of on the table in front of us - she actually picked it up to look for one!!
Another
Driving down the motorway one of those old Citroen with the straight arches that covered the top of the rear wheels drove passed and mrs asked "how do the rear wheels turn?" I said they arnt flat at the top as a joke she said "no stupid obviously mean turn left and right because of the flat tops of the arch" (don't start about honda preludes etc she was being dim)
Another
Years ago she was complaining about car damage and I suggested she should get a "force field" alarm like on Star Trek and they sell them in the back of the exchange and mart which I had a copy of on the table in front of us - she actually picked it up to look for one!!
Another
Driving down the motorway one of those old Citroen with the straight arches that covered the top of the rear wheels drove passed and mrs asked "how do the rear wheels turn?" I said they arnt flat at the top as a joke she said "no stupid obviously mean turn left and right because of the flat tops of the arch" (don't start about honda preludes etc she was being dim)
We have one of those lighter thingies (to save on matches when junior is indulging his pyrotechnic tendencies - which are many), but it's been sat unused for a while at the end of the kitchen counter.
Came home one day last week to be told 'It's broken - cannot make it work' by beloved. 'Probably out of fuel' I opine. 'No, I tried to refill it...' 'But we don't have any gas, do we?'
'I used that fuel you put in the hand warmer' 'But that's liquid fuel, this runs on gas. How'd you get it in there anyway?'
Blank looks when mentioning butane, pressurised vessel, cost of liquid fuel etc etc
Came home one day last week to be told 'It's broken - cannot make it work' by beloved. 'Probably out of fuel' I opine. 'No, I tried to refill it...' 'But we don't have any gas, do we?'
'I used that fuel you put in the hand warmer' 'But that's liquid fuel, this runs on gas. How'd you get it in there anyway?'
Blank looks when mentioning butane, pressurised vessel, cost of liquid fuel etc etc
Vipers said:
vladcjelli said:
This sounds so familiar. Always my fault too.
They are all the same.
The fact that her ladyship has spent most of the preceding two hours with her nose stuck in a Sudoku book is neither here nor there
matchmaker said:
Vipers said:
vladcjelli said:
This sounds so familiar. Always my fault too.
They are all the same.The fact that her ladyship has spent most of the preceding two hours with her nose stuck in a Sudoku book is neither here nor there
Hooli said:
Bit like being online is being anti-social because I'm not watching her play farmville?
bit like an ex. her idea of spending time together was sitting chatting to her occasionally while she was on some weird online forum, facebook and whatever game she was into at the time, yet me playing battlefield 2 was anti-social.MissChief said:
Hooli said:
Bit like being online is being anti-social because I'm not watching her play farmville?
bit like an ex. her idea of spending time together was sitting chatting to her occasionally while she was on some weird online forum, facebook and whatever game she was into at the time, yet me playing battlefield 2 was anti-social.I'm an avid gamer and she used to say that it was anti-social blah, blah... I said I'd be more than happy to sit and watch her rubbish as long as she'd sit with me and 'game' for the same amount of time so it was fair.
She didn't bring it up after that,
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