Half an hour until she comes home. What will I do?

[Papa Hotel]

Before she left for work, she told me to do the following things:

Hang up the washing.
Put on some more washing.
Clean the bathroom.
Do the dishes.
Tidy our room.
Vacuum the living room.

I've done none of that. I have, instead, played Skyrim and mowed the lawn. She won't appreciate either of those.

What should I do in the next half hour to minimise my trouble later on?

[MacW]

Change the locks.

[Shaw Tarse]

Burn the house down.

[Papa Hotel]

No good, I'd have to get out to a hardware shop and back in 28 minutes. Not going to happen.

[SpydieNut]

Go out and get pissed and then come home for some 'action' - she'll love that

[Papa Hotel]

Shaw Tarse said:

Burn the house down.

How would I cook dinner?

[Big Fat Fatty]

Barricade the door with all the furniture you have and run to the pub out the back door.

[Butter Face]

Default PH Reply: MTFU







I'd fall asleep on the sofa, wrap up in the duvet with a hot water bottle and say you've been feeling really unwell all day and you're really sorry (Sad face)

This is a one time shot though, don't try it every week

[Papa Hotel]

SpydieNut said:

Go out and get pissed and then come home for some 'action' - she'll love that

I don't drink.

None of these suggestions are any good. I don't think you people have my best interests at heart.

Important: she's SCOTTISH. And ginger.

[TaRD]

Papa Hotel said:

How would I cook dinner?

On the still hot embers of course.

[Shaw Tarse]

Papa Hotel said:

Shaw Tarse said:

Burn the house down.

How would I cook dinner?

BBQ?
Or blame the fire on the oven?

[BaronVonVaderham]

Bust one out because you aren't getting any tonight?

[Papa Hotel]

Shaw Tarse said:

BBQ?
Or blame the fire on the oven?

I could use the barbecue I suppose.

What about the neighbours? They'll be annoyed at me. Mind you, they'll not be neighbours any longer.

[djt100]

Papa Hotel said:

I don't drink.

None of these suggestions are any good. I don't think you people have my best interests at heart.

Important: she's SCOTTISH. And ginger.

fall asleep

[MajorProblem]

Put the car on jacks, take a wheel off, spread some tools about and say you popped out to get some household stuff and had an issue with the car.

[Papa Hotel]

BaronVonVaderham said:

Bust one out because you aren't getting any tonight?

I've been off work all day. Today was a five.

[Mobsta]

Do the dishes. At least she'll have room to cook you dinner once you've chained her to the cooker.

[Papa Hotel]

Mobsta said:

Do the dishes. At least she'll have room to cook you dinner once you've chained her to the cooker.

I'm on it!

One good suggestion... and it's from Mobsta!!

[S2Mike]

Put all the washing in the sink, put the washing up in the washing machine, open the bag of the hoover and tip contents over the living room floor, then put your clothes on back to front and sit on the floor in the hall, and concentrate intently on a fixed point on the stairs as she comes in and .. in a shakey voice say " I think we have a poltergeist."
Then hope for sympathy.

[aka_kerrly]

Papa Hotel said:

Before she left for work, she told me to do the following things:

Hang up the washing.
Put on some more washing.
Clean the bathroom.
Do the dishes. chuck them in a bowl to "soak"
Tidy our room. hide everything under the bed
Vacuum the living room. hide everything under the sofa

That's half the jobs tackled.