Who's got a worse chavvy 'close relative than me?
Discussion
Similar position to the OP but my sister is much younger. Second kid on the way, bled my father dry of his redundancy money last year (all £8k of it) and had another £3k this year so far. This is all whilst living off of benefits.
Her partner, another useless tit, couldn't take a job opportunity recently because it would have meant that he was working over 16 hrs a week, which is when they start capping your benefits...
But us, the hard-working, tax-paying, privately-renting normal folk are obviously much better off to be paying for everything ourselves with no help right?
Well I can't see us going on holiday in the next 3 years on my salary. She's just been on her 3rd holiday this year (although one was to Ireland, so that 'doesn't count').
FML.
Her partner, another useless tit, couldn't take a job opportunity recently because it would have meant that he was working over 16 hrs a week, which is when they start capping your benefits...
But us, the hard-working, tax-paying, privately-renting normal folk are obviously much better off to be paying for everything ourselves with no help right?
Well I can't see us going on holiday in the next 3 years on my salary. She's just been on her 3rd holiday this year (although one was to Ireland, so that 'doesn't count').
FML.
C.A.R. said:
Similar position to the OP but my sister is much younger. Second kid on the way, bled my father dry of his redundancy money last year (all £8k of it) and had another £3k this year so far. This is all whilst living off of benefits.
Her partner, another useless tit, couldn't take a job opportunity recently because it would have meant that he was working over 16 hrs a week, which is when they start capping your benefits...
But us, the hard-working, tax-paying, privately-renting normal folk are obviously much better off to be paying for everything ourselves with no help right?
Well I can't see us going on holiday in the next 3 years on my salary. She's just been on her 3rd holiday this year (although one was to Ireland, so that 'doesn't count').
FML.
Sorry but your Dad does seem to be part of the problem if he justs hands out money to them. Whats the 3k for?Her partner, another useless tit, couldn't take a job opportunity recently because it would have meant that he was working over 16 hrs a week, which is when they start capping your benefits...
But us, the hard-working, tax-paying, privately-renting normal folk are obviously much better off to be paying for everything ourselves with no help right?
Well I can't see us going on holiday in the next 3 years on my salary. She's just been on her 3rd holiday this year (although one was to Ireland, so that 'doesn't count').
FML.
GaryGlitter said:
Chunkymonkey71 said:
Rawwr said:
My family consists of me, my brother Chris and my cousin Gordon. That's it. No problems to report.
That Gordon one's a right f
ker though, isn't he?
Ok, my turn.
Not a relative (thankfully) but could be if my brother doesn't see the light anytime soon.
So, said individual is my brother's girlfriend. Nasty tatts, including random stars, numbers and tribal designs on wrists and ankles plus enormous dragons covering her entire back. Does a couple of jobs when she's not claiming she's unwell. Never has any money but always finds the funds for fags and booze. She's allegedly been partial to a bit of benefits fiddling in the past but really just wants someone who will pay for everything. My brother is not living with her but is saving up to buy a property. She has no aspiration in this objective and seems content living hand to mouth forever and subjects him to a load of emotional blackmail over his life plans. They break up, get back together, break up with the emotional blackmail scaling up to a peak, get back together again etc etc. He can't seem to let go despite us trying to convince him to look at the situation objectively: the future is not a good one!
I've told him if he ends up with her I will refer to him as Onslow (from Keeping Up Appearances) for the rest of his life.
But apparently she's utterly filthy in bed.
Not a relative (thankfully) but could be if my brother doesn't see the light anytime soon.
So, said individual is my brother's girlfriend. Nasty tatts, including random stars, numbers and tribal designs on wrists and ankles plus enormous dragons covering her entire back. Does a couple of jobs when she's not claiming she's unwell. Never has any money but always finds the funds for fags and booze. She's allegedly been partial to a bit of benefits fiddling in the past but really just wants someone who will pay for everything. My brother is not living with her but is saving up to buy a property. She has no aspiration in this objective and seems content living hand to mouth forever and subjects him to a load of emotional blackmail over his life plans. They break up, get back together, break up with the emotional blackmail scaling up to a peak, get back together again etc etc. He can't seem to let go despite us trying to convince him to look at the situation objectively: the future is not a good one!
I've told him if he ends up with her I will refer to him as Onslow (from Keeping Up Appearances) for the rest of his life.
But apparently she's utterly filthy in bed.
My great auntie was orphaned when she was a teenager and my nan became her legal guardian. She wanted to get married when she was 16 but my nan would not allow it. Eventually she gave her permission and they got married and had a daughter a couple of years later. Her husband was killed in an accident at work leaving her to bring up the daughter alone. She worked hard to give her a good upbringing but she turned into a right scumbag.
She had six kids by five different blokes. She did nothing for any of the kids; a couple of the fathers took their kids in but the rest were dumped on her mother. I have only met her a couple of times when I was a kid - I cannot remember what she looked like. A few years ago she was living with some complete smack-head waster of a bloke. She had turned her back on her mum and she hadn't seen her for months.
One day, my great auntie got a knock on the door. Her daughter and smack-head boyfriend had been discovered dead in their flat. She had died of a blow to the head and he had died of a massive heroin overdose.
I've not seen any of her kids for years. One of the girls got married a couple of years back - I couldn't make the wedding but my parents said she and her husband seemed really nice. One of the lads though had six kids of his own when he was about 27 (I wouldn't be surprised if there are even more now).
I saw my great auntie at my granddad's funeral last year. She was pleasant as ever and it's upsetting to see how stty her family turned out. When she left, conversation got onto how sad it was how hard she'd worked to give her family all she could and ended up with a bunch of leaching chavs. A few other skeletons emerged from the closet and my mum told me there had been kiddie fiddler in my nan's side of the family years ago - I have no desire to find out any more detail than that. I don't know a great deal about my nan's family, and I don't think I bloody well want to!
She had six kids by five different blokes. She did nothing for any of the kids; a couple of the fathers took their kids in but the rest were dumped on her mother. I have only met her a couple of times when I was a kid - I cannot remember what she looked like. A few years ago she was living with some complete smack-head waster of a bloke. She had turned her back on her mum and she hadn't seen her for months.
One day, my great auntie got a knock on the door. Her daughter and smack-head boyfriend had been discovered dead in their flat. She had died of a blow to the head and he had died of a massive heroin overdose.
I've not seen any of her kids for years. One of the girls got married a couple of years back - I couldn't make the wedding but my parents said she and her husband seemed really nice. One of the lads though had six kids of his own when he was about 27 (I wouldn't be surprised if there are even more now).
I saw my great auntie at my granddad's funeral last year. She was pleasant as ever and it's upsetting to see how s
tty her family turned out. When she left, conversation got onto how sad it was how hard she'd worked to give her family all she could and ended up with a bunch of leaching chavs. A few other skeletons emerged from the closet and my mum told me there had been kiddie fiddler in my nan's side of the family years ago - I have no desire to find out any more detail than that. I don't know a great deal about my nan's family, and I don't think I bloody well want to!My SIL recently dodged a bullet.
She's a nice girl, bright articulate and all that, but her ex-BF was a total catch for any young 20 year old girl around town:
He's 33 but still has the ambition of a wide-eyed 15 year old, as in one day he might get a job. Big on 'plans' a little lacking in execution, It's got to be right to make it worth his while - seemingly it's got to pay "a onner a day, takehome", that's low 30's before tax, involve no physical labour that might aggravate his old playstation injury, be close to home "can't be fked with all that driving stuff" or at least have flexible enough working hours that SIL could drive him between her job. It would also need to be managerial as he is "a total natural leader" and "fk doing stuff when you can just order people to do it all day". I'm sure the right role will land in his lap any moment now as a result of all the endless sitting on his arse dreaming about what he could spend his "onner a day on" and his CV which contains his name, address, zero qualifications and zero work experience and note about how his feet hurt if he has to walk or stand too long.
He's a good father, as in, he's bloody good at creating children. "Six or seven" is the current estimate, he sees one of them sporadically which he claims he's "raising" because a few quid of his JSA is given to the child's mother, the others are location unknown, I hope they've escaped his black hole to ambition, pride and dignity and have a chance of a decent life.
He's got his own place! This place is a single bedroom in his Mother’s House - I say house, it's more like a hostel for the terminally bone idle. It's a large 4-5 bedroom house in an area largely known for drug abuse and rioting over bread. State funded of course. His parents are poor souls, his Mother is badly effected by an undiagnosable ailment which requires constant treatment with Oramorph and on the days when this doesn't quite take the edge off - cider. Her husband has been forced to quit (looking for) work to care for her. The rest of the rooms are rented, no.... given to friends and relatives in exchange for money, because renting would give the impression that something commercial was going on. The deal is they can take the room and use as of the grand facilities (toilets, ash trays, playstations and large TVs) in exchange for cash, not money – there’s an important differentiation to make there.
Food is also provided. Guests can choose from mouth-watering selection of the best cuisine that ASDA Saver and Farm Foods can offer. The Landlords don't eat that well though, they have to make do with takeaways and the much that Tesco finest slop out from a locked private fridge. They bemoan the 'bedroom tax' as an assault on them personally, neatly side-stepping the moral and legal question of how it should effect a household of 7-9 adults living in 5 bedroom house.
SIL had to leave all that behind when they broke up.
He's got his pride though... He one day announced that we had become the head of my Wife's family, because my Wife's mother had sadly died a few years ago and planned to "have a word with me" and explain how I should behave myself now we were going to be related after our wedding "or we're going to have a falling out" My Wife's Dad wasn't too keen on the news, but I was actually looking forward to it. I would have no doubt gained some serious insight in the ways of the world that my years of travel, hard forged career and few extra years of life had failed to earn me, well at least after I took the time to explain how we weren't related, he would be in fact the boyfriend of my Sister-in-Law or 'that wker' for short and even if one day he did marry my SIL, we still wouldn't be related, oh and the word "earn". I was a bit worried about the "falling out" bit though, he's about a foot shorter than me and has a chest roughly as thick as one of my arms, but he's at least twice as hard a Chuck Norris.
He can be pragmatic though, and would often set-aside his pride to ask my SIL to buy him clothes, games consoles and tobacco. He must have been saving his JSA for a wedding, because after hearing how much our modest affair cost, he declared "we'll have to spend at least double that".
Total, total wker and to top it all off, he's a complete know-it-all, judging by the amount of unsolicited Einstein level genius advice that spews from his lies-hole you'd think he'd be coasting through life without a care in the world....
And sadly he is.
She's a nice girl, bright articulate and all that, but her ex-BF was a total catch for any young 20 year old girl around town:
He's 33 but still has the ambition of a wide-eyed 15 year old, as in one day he might get a job. Big on 'plans' a little lacking in execution, It's got to be right to make it worth his while - seemingly it's got to pay "a onner a day, takehome", that's low 30's before tax, involve no physical labour that might aggravate his old playstation injury, be close to home "can't be f
ked with all that driving stuff" or at least have flexible enough working hours that SIL could drive him between her job. It would also need to be managerial as he is "a total natural leader" and "fk doing stuff when you can just order people to do it all day". I'm sure the right role will land in his lap any moment now as a result of all the endless sitting on his arse dreaming about what he could spend his "onner a day on" and his CV which contains his name, address, zero qualifications and zero work experience and note about how his feet hurt if he has to walk or stand too long. He's a good father, as in, he's bloody good at creating children. "Six or seven" is the current estimate, he sees one of them sporadically which he claims he's "raising" because a few quid of his JSA is given to the child's mother, the others are location unknown, I hope they've escaped his black hole to ambition, pride and dignity and have a chance of a decent life.
He's got his own place! This place is a single bedroom in his Mother’s House - I say house, it's more like a hostel for the terminally bone idle. It's a large 4-5 bedroom house in an area largely known for drug abuse and rioting over bread. State funded of course. His parents are poor souls, his Mother is badly effected by an undiagnosable ailment which requires constant treatment with Oramorph and on the days when this doesn't quite take the edge off - cider. Her husband has been forced to quit (looking for) work to care for her. The rest of the rooms are rented, no.... given to friends and relatives in exchange for money, because renting would give the impression that something commercial was going on. The deal is they can take the room and use as of the grand facilities (toilets, ash trays, playstations and large TVs) in exchange for cash, not money – there’s an important differentiation to make there.
Food is also provided. Guests can choose from mouth-watering selection of the best cuisine that ASDA Saver and Farm Foods can offer. The Landlords don't eat that well though, they have to make do with takeaways and the much that Tesco finest slop out from a locked private fridge. They bemoan the 'bedroom tax' as an assault on them personally, neatly side-stepping the moral and legal question of how it should effect a household of 7-9 adults living in 5 bedroom house.
SIL had to leave all that behind when they broke up.
He's got his pride though... He one day announced that we had become the head of my Wife's family, because my Wife's mother had sadly died a few years ago and planned to "have a word with me" and explain how I should behave myself now we were going to be related after our wedding "or we're going to have a falling out" My Wife's Dad wasn't too keen on the news, but I was actually looking forward to it. I would have no doubt gained some serious insight in the ways of the world that my years of travel, hard forged career and few extra years of life had failed to earn me, well at least after I took the time to explain how we weren't related, he would be in fact the boyfriend of my Sister-in-Law or 'that w
ker' for short and even if one day he did marry my SIL, we still wouldn't be related, oh and the word "earn". I was a bit worried about the "falling out" bit though, he's about a foot shorter than me and has a chest roughly as thick as one of my arms, but he's at least twice as hard a Chuck Norris. He can be pragmatic though, and would often set-aside his pride to ask my SIL to buy him clothes, games consoles and tobacco. He must have been saving his JSA for a wedding, because after hearing how much our modest affair cost, he declared "we'll have to spend at least double that".
Total, total w
ker and to top it all off, he's a complete know-it-all, judging by the amount of unsolicited Einstein level genius advice that spews from his lies-hole you'd think he'd be coasting through life without a care in the world....And sadly he is.
Edited by P-Jay on Wednesday 19th June 12:55
P-Jay said:
My SIL recently dodged a bullet.
She's a nice girl, bright articulate and all that, but her ex-BF was a total catch for any young 20 year old girl around town:
He's 33 but still has the ambition of a wide-eyed 15 year old, as in one day he might get a job. Big on 'plans' a little lacking in execution, It's got to be right to make it worth his while - seemingly it's got to pay "a onner a day, takehome", that's low 30's before tax, involve no physical labour that might aggravate his old playstation injury, be close to home "can't be fked with all that driving stuff" or at least have flexible enough working hours that SIL could drive him between her job. It would also need to be managerial as he is "a total natural leader" and "fk doing stuff when you can just order people to do it all day". I'm sure the right role will land in his lap any moment now as a result of all the endless sitting on his arse dreaming about what he could spend his "onner a day on" and his CV which contains his name, address, zero qualifications and zero work experience and note about how his feet hurt if he has to walk or stand too long.
He's a good father, as in, he's bloody good at creating children. "Six or seven" is the current estimate, he sees one of them sporadically which he claims he's "raising" because a few quid of his JSA is given to the child's mother, the others are location unknown, I hope they've escaped his black hole to ambition, pride and dignity and have a chance of a decent life.
He's got his own place! This place is a single bedroom in his Mother’s House - I say house, it's more like a hostel for the terminally bone idle. It's a large 4-5 bedroom house in an area largely known for drug abuse and rioting over bread. State funded of course. His parents are poor souls, his Mother is badly effected by an undiagnosable ailment which requires constant treatment with Oramorph and on the days when this doesn't quite take the edge off - cider. Her husband has been forced to quit (looking for) work to care for her. The rest of the rooms are rented, no.... given to friends and relatives in exchange for money, because renting would give the impression that something commercial was going on. The deal is they can take the room and use as of the grand facilities (toilets, ash trays, playstations and large TVs) in exchange for cash, not money – there’s an important differentiation to make there.
Food is also provided. Guests can choose from mouth-watering selection of the best cuisine that ASDA Saver and Farm Foods can offer. The Landlords don't eat that well though, they have to make do with takeaways and the much that Tesco finest slop out from a locked private fridge. They bemoan the 'bedroom tax' as an assault on them personally, neatly side-stepping the moral and legal question of how it should effect a household of 7-9 adults living in 5 bedroom house.
SIL had to leave all that behind when they broke up.
He's got his pride though... He one day announced that we had become the head of my Wife's family, because my Wife's mother had sadly died a few years ago and planned to "have a word with me" and explain how I should behave myself now we were going to be related after our wedding "or we're going to have a falling out" My Wife's Dad wasn't too keen on the news, but I was actually looking forward to it. I would have no doubt gained some serious insight in the ways of the world that my years of travel, hard forged career and few extra years of life had failed to earn me, well at least after I took the time to explain how we weren't related, he would be in fact the boyfriend of my Sister-in-Law or 'that wker' for short and even if one day he did marry my SIL, we still wouldn't be related, oh and the word "earn". I was a bit worried about the "falling out" bit though, he's about a foot shorter than me and has a chest roughly as thick as one of my arms, but he's at least twice as hard a Chuck Norris.
He can be pragmatic though, and would often set-aside his pride to ask my SIL to buy him clothes, games consoles and tobacco. He must have been saving his JSA for a wedding, because after hearing how much our modest affair cost, he declared "we'll have to spend at least double that".
Total, total wker and to top it all off, he's a complete know-it-all, judging by the amount of unsolicited Einstein level genius advice that spews from his lies-hole you'd think he'd be coasting through life without a care in the world....
And sadly he is.
A truly excellent description, unfortunately he is far from alone in this life..She's a nice girl, bright articulate and all that, but her ex-BF was a total catch for any young 20 year old girl around town:
He's 33 but still has the ambition of a wide-eyed 15 year old, as in one day he might get a job. Big on 'plans' a little lacking in execution, It's got to be right to make it worth his while - seemingly it's got to pay "a onner a day, takehome", that's low 30's before tax, involve no physical labour that might aggravate his old playstation injury, be close to home "can't be f
ked with all that driving stuff" or at least have flexible enough working hours that SIL could drive him between her job. It would also need to be managerial as he is "a total natural leader" and "fk doing stuff when you can just order people to do it all day". I'm sure the right role will land in his lap any moment now as a result of all the endless sitting on his arse dreaming about what he could spend his "onner a day on" and his CV which contains his name, address, zero qualifications and zero work experience and note about how his feet hurt if he has to walk or stand too long. He's a good father, as in, he's bloody good at creating children. "Six or seven" is the current estimate, he sees one of them sporadically which he claims he's "raising" because a few quid of his JSA is given to the child's mother, the others are location unknown, I hope they've escaped his black hole to ambition, pride and dignity and have a chance of a decent life.
He's got his own place! This place is a single bedroom in his Mother’s House - I say house, it's more like a hostel for the terminally bone idle. It's a large 4-5 bedroom house in an area largely known for drug abuse and rioting over bread. State funded of course. His parents are poor souls, his Mother is badly effected by an undiagnosable ailment which requires constant treatment with Oramorph and on the days when this doesn't quite take the edge off - cider. Her husband has been forced to quit (looking for) work to care for her. The rest of the rooms are rented, no.... given to friends and relatives in exchange for money, because renting would give the impression that something commercial was going on. The deal is they can take the room and use as of the grand facilities (toilets, ash trays, playstations and large TVs) in exchange for cash, not money – there’s an important differentiation to make there.
Food is also provided. Guests can choose from mouth-watering selection of the best cuisine that ASDA Saver and Farm Foods can offer. The Landlords don't eat that well though, they have to make do with takeaways and the much that Tesco finest slop out from a locked private fridge. They bemoan the 'bedroom tax' as an assault on them personally, neatly side-stepping the moral and legal question of how it should effect a household of 7-9 adults living in 5 bedroom house.
SIL had to leave all that behind when they broke up.
He's got his pride though... He one day announced that we had become the head of my Wife's family, because my Wife's mother had sadly died a few years ago and planned to "have a word with me" and explain how I should behave myself now we were going to be related after our wedding "or we're going to have a falling out" My Wife's Dad wasn't too keen on the news, but I was actually looking forward to it. I would have no doubt gained some serious insight in the ways of the world that my years of travel, hard forged career and few extra years of life had failed to earn me, well at least after I took the time to explain how we weren't related, he would be in fact the boyfriend of my Sister-in-Law or 'that w
ker' for short and even if one day he did marry my SIL, we still wouldn't be related, oh and the word "earn". I was a bit worried about the "falling out" bit though, he's about a foot shorter than me and has a chest roughly as thick as one of my arms, but he's at least twice as hard a Chuck Norris. He can be pragmatic though, and would often set-aside his pride to ask my SIL to buy him clothes, games consoles and tobacco. He must have been saving his JSA for a wedding, because after hearing how much our modest affair cost, he declared "we'll have to spend at least double that".
Total, total w
ker and to top it all off, he's a complete know-it-all, judging by the amount of unsolicited Einstein level genius advice that spews from his lies-hole you'd think he'd be coasting through life without a care in the world....And sadly he is.
Edited by P-Jay on Wednesday 19th June 12:55
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