Teenagers "self harming"
Discussion
slippery said:
I read some of the comments on here and hope for your sake that you don't have to suffer the agony of watching helplessly while one of your children destroys themselves. Maybe if you do, you'll look back at this and realise how ignorant you've been.
I think you may be letting your emotions get in the way of some people's black humour. I understand no parent wants their child to have any emotional issues, but there seems to be a growing trend for this type of behaviour from teens that see the world is against them. I've dealt with teens and younger that have hurt themselves, I found that most, not all, just need a little time with an adult to talk and understand that life's hard, but it can be easier. The eating disorders have been around since skinny girls became fashionable. I think through education, understanding and sometimes bluntness about the damage being done some of these children can be helped. I've dealt with teens for 12 years now, taught, counselled and helped an amount i couldnt begin to calculate.
It's a judgement call and not popular practice in management, but a lot of them want to be treated as completely normal and in some cases actually appreciate a bit of dark humour. Wouldnt advise wading straight in with it though, you need a highly developed sense of empathy to call it right.
It's a judgement call and not popular practice in management, but a lot of them want to be treated as completely normal and in some cases actually appreciate a bit of dark humour. Wouldnt advise wading straight in with it though, you need a highly developed sense of empathy to call it right.
The UK is a far more depressing place to be growing up nowadays. Without a huuuge leg up, if we carry on as we have been for the last 20 years my kids will never get onto the property ladder. This is hugely disheartening for normal kids. It looks very much like my children will only own their own homes with a LOT of family help. I'm prepared to do that for them, but most families don't have a 'spare' dozen BTLs that the kids can have. But of course it is my fault property is so overpriced, as I was part of the pass the parcel which drove them so high...
Edited by User33678888 on Wednesday 19th June 18:20
User33678888 said:
The UK is a far more depressing place to be growing up nowadays. Without a huuuge leg up, if we carry on as we have been for the last 20 years my kids will never get onto the property ladder.
Wit respect I'm not sure the property ladder is what most 15 year olds are troubled aboutFozziebear said:
I think you may be letting your emotions get in the way of some people's black humour.
You're right. It's never easy to find things like this funny when you're living with them every day. One of my Daughter's school friends hung herself a few months back at the age of thirteen. That hasn't helped either. mattnunn said:
Wit respect I'm not sure the property ladder is what most 15 year olds are troubled about
They do pick up the news in general though. And they do start to question "what is the point". No matter how you do at school. Either you'll be unemployed, or spend tens of thousands on uni. And be unemployed. You'll never retire if you beat the odds and get a job, you'll work until you drop. Or you'll be reliant on the generation before, who constantly call you scum, and crow about how successful they have been. (While destroying the economy, environment, and foreign relations).
Given there is nothing positive in anything they hear or experiance about their future. I'm surprised more don't self harm.
mattnunn said:
King Herald said:
mattnunn said:
King Herald said:
I think if you openly split your sides laughing at him for being such a tosser of a tool, in front of other people, he'd get a little embarrassed and stop doing it.
Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
Sometimes ignorring an attention seeker is the best way to go...Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
doh...
User33678888 said:
The UK is a far more depressing place to be growing up nowadays.
Do what????Complete tosh and the sort of thing people under 30 say when they are in that "grown up...but not yet proper adults" phase. Normally followed by "we used to climb trees and never needed a mobile"
Tiggsy said:
User33678888 said:
The UK is a far more depressing place to be growing up nowadays.
Do what????Complete tosh and the sort of thing people under 30 say when they are in that "grown up...but not yet proper adults" phase. Normally followed by "we used to climb trees and never needed a mobile"
Munter said:
Umm. Would that not be his point? He says young people find the UK a depressing place and believe previous generations had it easier. And you come along and say that's the sort of thing young people say.
No, he's saying it IS more depressing - and goes on about house prices.Young people will always moan but the reality is they have it better now than ever...and they certainly are not self harming because of the property market.
slippery said:
I'm afraid it's way more complex than some of the comments above. I have a teenager daughter with an eating disorder. They are very misunderstood and the mortality rate is scarily high. The feeling of helplessness is truly draining. She has a tendancy to cut herself as a punishment if she thinks she has eaten too much, even though she is tiny. Try reading about how serious anorexia is before you become too judgemental. Until I was thrust into the middle of it, I really had no idea.
I can sort of understand a eating disorder. Probably starts off as wanting to loose a little weight but turns into more a obsession or something. At least the people doing it for a reason and a think a lot of the time they dont realise how thin they are and keep going. However this self harm shiz totally baffles me. I dont get why anyone would want to cut / hurt themselves. What the hell do you have to gain from it apart from pain and possibly scars ? and maybe attention ???? or is that the answer to why they do it
Edited by theshrew on Friday 21st June 11:19
Slyjoe said:
The one that bugging me is a relative pinching himself causing bruises because his mums taken his ipod off of him. No great hill of beans to us, but its causing her lots of distress. 
I want to punch him, not sympathise.
Sounds like a typical spoilt little sI want to punch him, not sympathise.
t to me. Gets everything he wants and when he doesnt has a paddy. If that was my kid id leave him to it. He'd soon learn that its not going to get him anywhere.
My teenage (13) daughter talks of self-harming and does that pulling her hair out (trich, for short but can't spell the full name). It's almost as if, at various stages of her life, she has read about it in a book or on Google and then does what it says.
Dare I say it but it's as if there is too much information so teens read about it and think, I must try that. Just my theory
When I was 13 it was climbing trees and playing war with sticks. One of those in the pic looks like a Sig P226
Dare I say it but it's as if there is too much information so teens read about it and think, I must try that. Just my theory
When I was 13 it was climbing trees and playing war with sticks. One of those in the pic looks like a Sig P226
I see it having 2 purposes.
Firstly it is a way of controlling anxiety. Pain causes endorphins and the sight of blood can also cause a blood pressure drop. So it can be a v rapid stress reliever.
Secondly it is a way to express emotional turmoil that can be seen by others, who might not recognise otherwise.
Firstly it is a way of controlling anxiety. Pain causes endorphins and the sight of blood can also cause a blood pressure drop. So it can be a v rapid stress reliever.
Secondly it is a way to express emotional turmoil that can be seen by others, who might not recognise otherwise.
croyde said:
Dare I say it but it's as if there is too much information so teens read about it and think, I must try that. Just my theory
Yep. If youd asked me at 13 what self harming was, i'd have asumed it was a poor euphamism for a wk. Thats progress for you. I'm 42 and still find it odd. I have friends who are bipolar2, manic depressive, so i'm not thick to mental health issues, but the self harming is something that escapes me totally. Selfishly, I hope to fk my kids dont ever get in to it, it must be awful beyond belief to witness. If someone hurt my kids, I'd give them a good kicking, if they hurt themselves???
Jeez. Good wishes to those going through it is all I can say.
Yep. If youd asked me at 13 what self harming was, i'd have asumed it was a poor euphamism for a w
k. Thats progress for you. I'm 42 and still find it odd. I have friends who are bipolar2, manic depressive, so i'm not thick to mental health issues, but the self harming is something that escapes me totally. Selfishly, I hope to fk my kids dont ever get in to it, it must be awful beyond belief to witness. If someone hurt my kids, I'd give them a good kicking, if they hurt themselves???Jeez. Good wishes to those going through it is all I can say.
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