Removing cheating spouse from home - URGENT advice needed
Discussion
PurpleMoonlight said:
He effectively has the choice now.
A court would be unlikely to force him to move out.
Definitely. If he was interviewed by a CAFCASS officer and he said he didn't want to move, it would be highly unlikely a judge would force it. The older a child is, the more weight their wishes and feelings carry in these situations. There is no need to worry about this issue.A court would be unlikely to force him to move out.
theboss said:
That sounds great, but the problem as I understand it, is that I can't actually deny her access to the place until she has "finished" moving out and the tenancy has been redrawn to reflect. Can anyone confirm?
While you faff about worrying about her rights she is sorting out how to extract money from your joint account, get your car, your furniture etc. Kick her out change locks and worry about her rights later. Take some initiative and control.
Good luck - sounds like a s
tty situation but being whiter than white with respect to her rights will get you nowhere. johnfm said:
While you faff about worrying about her rights she is sorting out how to extract money from your joint account, get your car, your furniture etc.
Kick her out change locks and worry about her rights later. Take some initiative and control.
Good luck - sounds like a stty situation but being whiter than white with respect to her rights will get you nowhere.
ThisKick her out change locks and worry about her rights later. Take some initiative and control.
Good luck - sounds like a s
tty situation but being whiter than white with respect to her rights will get you nowhere. Sounds like you're being soft and scared of her being 'the mental' or mad. I would not give the slightest f
k how mad she was. Sort your money out, change the locks, get your car back. She broke the marriage commitment and I don't need to go into further detail to say how!
Guys, its not as simple as that. Firstly I've ensured the joint account is heavily overdrawn and suggested she has her name taken off it Monday. I have agreed to let her take some furniture because if I don't she can't actually move out of the house which will drive me mad. I'm prepaped to lose an old sofa and the kids beds to try and push things forward for her as quickly as possible.
as soon as she has "moved out" and taken when she reasonably needs - that I agree to - to establish her new home, she will be out of my way, at which point the locksmith will come.
She is being a total and utter snake, but doing anything to aggrevate her at this moment in time, when she hasn't actually "moved out", is likely to cause me a lot of avoidable aggro.
I now have a massive amount of furniture for a single bloke anyway, and all the quality stuff I'm keeping because its huge and she literally won't bother trying to dismantle and move it to a much smaller house. If she tries anyway, I will intervene, but my questioning was along the lines of "can I intervene by just locking her out".
Until our tenancy is redrawn it seems that actually I can't!
as soon as she has "moved out" and taken when she reasonably needs - that I agree to - to establish her new home, she will be out of my way, at which point the locksmith will come.
She is being a total and utter snake, but doing anything to aggrevate her at this moment in time, when she hasn't actually "moved out", is likely to cause me a lot of avoidable aggro.
I now have a massive amount of furniture for a single bloke anyway, and all the quality stuff I'm keeping because its huge and she literally won't bother trying to dismantle and move it to a much smaller house. If she tries anyway, I will intervene, but my questioning was along the lines of "can I intervene by just locking her out".
Until our tenancy is redrawn it seems that actually I can't!
johnwilliams77 said:
johnfm said:
While you faff about worrying about her rights she is sorting out how to extract money from your joint account, get your car, your furniture etc.
Kick her out change locks and worry about her rights later. Take some initiative and control.
Good luck - sounds like a stty situation but being whiter than white with respect to her rights will get you nowhere.
ThisKick her out change locks and worry about her rights later. Take some initiative and control.
Good luck - sounds like a s
tty situation but being whiter than white with respect to her rights will get you nowhere. Sounds like you're being soft and scared of her being 'the mental' or mad. I would not give the slightest f
k how mad she was. Sort your money out, change the locks, get your car back. She broke the marriage commitment and I don't need to go into further detail to say how!Lock change
Bank accounts
Children stable and take them away if you can even for a day
And start to say NO
You are unfortunately doing this from a standing start - she's had months so will feel she's in control at the moment and can start to dictate your life to you.
Locks are vital and please ignore any ideas otherwise (also ignore super gluing them etc WTF)
Good luck today
^^ overlapped your reply there, so:
You lose your keys today, get locks changed tomorrow having rung the agent out of courtesy and ensuring to drop two sets of spares in to them. What's happening between you and the wife stays there, many people split up and move back like Yoyos it's of no consequence to agent/landlord at this point in time as long as the rent is paid.
You lose your keys today, get locks changed tomorrow having rung the agent out of courtesy and ensuring to drop two sets of spares in to them. What's happening between you and the wife stays there, many people split up and move back like Yoyos it's of no consequence to agent/landlord at this point in time as long as the rent is paid.
Can someone with a legal background comment on the repercussions of locking her out of the house?
She asserts she has a right to enter the marital home at present. I have a feeling she does too. The family lawyer I spoke to on Friday certainly didn't advise doing this. If I lock her out she's going to create a hell of a scene - the police get called - then what? I have to let her in.
I appreciate it would be nice to just change the locks but have a feeling this is going to backfire.
If I do it after she's moved her essentials today (clothes, kids bedroom furniture etc) then she has a lot less to come back here for.
I can order replacement kids beds easily.
She asserts she has a right to enter the marital home at present. I have a feeling she does too. The family lawyer I spoke to on Friday certainly didn't advise doing this. If I lock her out she's going to create a hell of a scene - the police get called - then what? I have to let her in.
I appreciate it would be nice to just change the locks but have a feeling this is going to backfire.
If I do it after she's moved her essentials today (clothes, kids bedroom furniture etc) then she has a lot less to come back here for.
I can order replacement kids beds easily.
johnwilliams77 said:
What notice period does your tenancy have? If it's a month rolling now then I would give it on Monday and suck up the overlap for the sake of getting a good nights sleep.
Its two monthsThe landlady (with about 150 properties) advised that if I intended to stay in the place indefinitely I have the contract amended with the wife removed... and let her think I am remaining there. Her reasoning was that if I immediately terminate the wife would then expect to become a recipient of the deposit (£3k-odd) and that its not uncommon to see squabbles in this situation. I'm inclined to stay here anyway as I feel its best for the kids.
theboss said:
She asserts she has a right to enter the marital home at present. I have a feeling she does too. The family lawyer I spoke to on Friday certainly didn't advise doing this. If I lock her out she's going to create a hell of a scene - the police get called - then what? I have to let her in.
It's a civil matter, she would need to take you to court to enforce any rights she may have.If you owned the home, then as the former marital home she would have the right to break in providing you are not in physical occupation at the time. However, this is someone else's property and I would question whether or not she has the right to wilfully damage it. I'm inclined to think not.
I have found that in divorce those that take action, whether reasonable or legal or not, tend to be the ones that benefit. Those that seek to placate and abide by the 'rules' are usually shafted.
Stick to the plan, change the locks when she has gone and wait to see how she kicks off.
She will likely initially deny you access to your children in retaliation.
Stick to the plan, change the locks when she has gone and wait to see how she kicks off.
She will likely initially deny you access to your children in retaliation.
OK its all going to hell pretty quickly. She is here now, with her mother, they have already stated I "can't look after the kids" because I didn't launder their school uniforms last night FFS.
They are taking clothes but are stating that the new house isn't ready for the kids yet because appliances aren't there (washing machine cooker etc)
Therefore the wife thinks she can stay here with the kids and I should just go somewhere else if I don't like it.
How do I get proper advice on a Saturday morning? Any actual lawyers here?
They are taking clothes but are stating that the new house isn't ready for the kids yet because appliances aren't there (washing machine cooker etc)
Therefore the wife thinks she can stay here with the kids and I should just go somewhere else if I don't like it.
How do I get proper advice on a Saturday morning? Any actual lawyers here?
The problem is stand up and fight = escalating argument / confrontation with wife and mother in law who are now in the house removing clothes etc which seems fair enough. How does that end - police called.
Remember I can't just chuck everything on the lawn - I have a spinal cord disorder.
I am ringing around seeing if I can get some proper advice as I need to know exactly how to handle the situation best.
Remember I can't just chuck everything on the lawn - I have a spinal cord disorder.
I am ringing around seeing if I can get some proper advice as I need to know exactly how to handle the situation best.
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff