Oh No, Mr Policeman!
Discussion
Ok, so I'm going get blasted for this but life's too short, etc.
I'll confess that I post rarely, often about lavatorial stuff which I find highly amusing and almost always stuff that I've picked from the police forum, coz I admit that I used to work for the Bill, so there you go.
Anyway, this one just can't not be shared. The original is on the KMB forum.
Not that I revel in anyone else's misfortune but I've just read a post on the Unmentionable's board which cruelly tickled my warped sense of humour but also left me aghast. Some bloke has posted about how disgusted he was with a response given by a member of the public to his nephew, who is a copper.
Apparently his nephew was on duty at an Opening of Parliament event, or similar, in central London and after absolutely ages standing on duty without being relieved, he was beyond desperate for the toilet for a wee. Eventually, he had no alternative other than to ask to be stood down, seemingly to the annoyance of senior officers, and he literally hobbled off in search of a loo. However, being unfamiliar with the area he didn't know where to go but found a small shop, went in and asked/pleaded to use the toilet - but astonishingly, the shopkeeper refused, saying he was fed up with people asking.
Guess what? Incredibly, with nowhere else obvious to go and at breaking point and unable to wait, the young officer went back outside and just uncontrollably "did it in his trousers" out in the street before he could find anywhere else!!
His uncle has posted a furious tirade asking how anyone could be so heartless as the shopkeeper. His nephew was apparently, and unsurprisingly, left very humiliated by what happened.
I know it's not really funny and must have been awful for him but on the other hand ... is there a small sense of irony, do you think?"
On the board where it was posted there's loads of "he should have just p**sed in his helmet" type of comments, which you'd expect but joking aside, in all seriousness, what on earth could he have done in such a predicament? What a situation to be in!
Tin helmet on and all views received.
I'll confess that I post rarely, often about lavatorial stuff which I find highly amusing and almost always stuff that I've picked from the police forum, coz I admit that I used to work for the Bill, so there you go.
Anyway, this one just can't not be shared. The original is on the KMB forum.
Not that I revel in anyone else's misfortune but I've just read a post on the Unmentionable's board which cruelly tickled my warped sense of humour but also left me aghast. Some bloke has posted about how disgusted he was with a response given by a member of the public to his nephew, who is a copper.
Apparently his nephew was on duty at an Opening of Parliament event, or similar, in central London and after absolutely ages standing on duty without being relieved, he was beyond desperate for the toilet for a wee. Eventually, he had no alternative other than to ask to be stood down, seemingly to the annoyance of senior officers, and he literally hobbled off in search of a loo. However, being unfamiliar with the area he didn't know where to go but found a small shop, went in and asked/pleaded to use the toilet - but astonishingly, the shopkeeper refused, saying he was fed up with people asking.
Guess what? Incredibly, with nowhere else obvious to go and at breaking point and unable to wait, the young officer went back outside and just uncontrollably "did it in his trousers" out in the street before he could find anywhere else!!
His uncle has posted a furious tirade asking how anyone could be so heartless as the shopkeeper. His nephew was apparently, and unsurprisingly, left very humiliated by what happened.
I know it's not really funny and must have been awful for him but on the other hand ... is there a small sense of irony, do you think?"
On the board where it was posted there's loads of "he should have just p**sed in his helmet" type of comments, which you'd expect but joking aside, in all seriousness, what on earth could he have done in such a predicament? What a situation to be in!
Tin helmet on and all views received.
Okay, so you've all had your little digs and that's fine, I said I expected it. But it's probably worth me concluding my own contribution with a very reflective response from the originating site by someone else, also ex-police, who read the story. Quite a studious summary.
Here it is:
I've never been tempted to post a response to anything quite like this before but as you know, someone who spent near 30 years working alongside police officers at similar types of events, I have a few comments on this sad story.
Firstly, ask any copper about the drawbacks of policing big public events and you'll invariably get the predictable response of refreshments, toilet breaks and aching feet and that won't have changed for decades. Of course officers get caught short during shifts but there's usually a way to deal with the problem. I don't get why this officer left things until he was at crisis point, unless he'd had to wait so long for permission to leave. There comes a point when you know that serious alarm bells start to ring.
What I do understand is his difficulty in knowing where to go. Officers are drafted in from all over the area to police these events and so he would be totally unfamiliar with his surroundings, hence the reason he should have given himself sufficient time to locate a loo.
As for the shop's refusal, I do understand that as well. Believe me, it doesn't take much for word to get back that such-and-such a shop will let you use their toilet and before he knows it, the shopkeeper will have a stream of officers trudging in and out asking to use it. So I can see why he might have wanted to not allow it - heavy-footed policemen trampling all over your carpets is not great. It's probably a bit harsh but then again shops have a business to run and are not there for all types of public access.
As for the officer actually wetting himself, I'm amazed. I did 30 years of these type of events and never before have I known anything like that to happen. To allow himself to get into such a desperate predicament doesn't say much for his personal management and as for doing it in his trousers in front of people, it's a major embarrassment for both him and his force. That uniform represents an authoritative figure and wetting it in public is beyond comprehension.
I daren't imagine the nicknames he'll attract and it'll follow him throughout his career, sadly for him. I don't need to say it but coppers are top of charts of piss-takers.
It seems he was quite a young officer and I'm sure the awful experience will have scarred him as well as being a horrible lesson and I simply can't imagine the embarrassment of having to explain to his skipper what had happened.
The last thing organisers need at a busy event is having to deal with an officer who's wet his pants! Finding someone to replace him in his unit, organising transport back for him, clean clothes, explanations - it's a nightmare scenario.
I had to deal with many strange occurrences during my time but never something like that, fortunately. I can't think of many bigger embarrassments for an on-duty copper to suffer.
Was it his own fault? Probably, although he could have been helped more. Could he have avoided the ultimate disgrace? Possibly not, but it should never have got to that stage.
Here it is:
I've never been tempted to post a response to anything quite like this before but as you know, someone who spent near 30 years working alongside police officers at similar types of events, I have a few comments on this sad story.
Firstly, ask any copper about the drawbacks of policing big public events and you'll invariably get the predictable response of refreshments, toilet breaks and aching feet and that won't have changed for decades. Of course officers get caught short during shifts but there's usually a way to deal with the problem. I don't get why this officer left things until he was at crisis point, unless he'd had to wait so long for permission to leave. There comes a point when you know that serious alarm bells start to ring.
What I do understand is his difficulty in knowing where to go. Officers are drafted in from all over the area to police these events and so he would be totally unfamiliar with his surroundings, hence the reason he should have given himself sufficient time to locate a loo.
As for the shop's refusal, I do understand that as well. Believe me, it doesn't take much for word to get back that such-and-such a shop will let you use their toilet and before he knows it, the shopkeeper will have a stream of officers trudging in and out asking to use it. So I can see why he might have wanted to not allow it - heavy-footed policemen trampling all over your carpets is not great. It's probably a bit harsh but then again shops have a business to run and are not there for all types of public access.
As for the officer actually wetting himself, I'm amazed. I did 30 years of these type of events and never before have I known anything like that to happen. To allow himself to get into such a desperate predicament doesn't say much for his personal management and as for doing it in his trousers in front of people, it's a major embarrassment for both him and his force. That uniform represents an authoritative figure and wetting it in public is beyond comprehension.
I daren't imagine the nicknames he'll attract and it'll follow him throughout his career, sadly for him. I don't need to say it but coppers are top of charts of piss-takers.
It seems he was quite a young officer and I'm sure the awful experience will have scarred him as well as being a horrible lesson and I simply can't imagine the embarrassment of having to explain to his skipper what had happened.
The last thing organisers need at a busy event is having to deal with an officer who's wet his pants! Finding someone to replace him in his unit, organising transport back for him, clean clothes, explanations - it's a nightmare scenario.
I had to deal with many strange occurrences during my time but never something like that, fortunately. I can't think of many bigger embarrassments for an on-duty copper to suffer.
Was it his own fault? Probably, although he could have been helped more. Could he have avoided the ultimate disgrace? Possibly not, but it should never have got to that stage.
Nigel Worc's said:
I have a friend who was a manager of a petrol station in Birmingham.
He used to actively encourage Police officers to not only feel free to access the toilets, but to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee if they wished.
I also used to patrol the streets of Worcester and surrounding towns/villages as a special, I never encountered any issues with access to toilets, and quite often, the chance of a cuppa.
How times change !
Or maybe individuals?He used to actively encourage Police officers to not only feel free to access the toilets, but to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee if they wished.
I also used to patrol the streets of Worcester and surrounding towns/villages as a special, I never encountered any issues with access to toilets, and quite often, the chance of a cuppa.
How times change !
Nigel Worc's said:
No I think it is more general than that.
I blame the fixed penalty/targets culture myself, it had made the system more them and us, but others will disagree .
There is definitely a them-and-us culture that didn't exist before and a poor lack of respect too.I blame the fixed penalty/targets culture myself, it had made the system more them and us, but others will disagree .
Maybe I meant individuals on both sides - the public (shopkeeper) response and also the way the police officer dealt with the situation. They would both have been very different a few years back , I suspect.
malphesius said:
Is your incredulity aimed towards the shop owner or the plod who pissed his pants. For me it's the latter but either way, riveting stuff.
Both, but the incredulity bit is the shop assistant refusing permission. The copper wetting his pants is astonishing and quite frankly, a bit sad.Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff