could I get in trouble for this...
Discussion
Briefly - My son (who has cerebral palsy) goes to a school for children with disabilities. There are many many children with very different issues. Some can walk and have excellent mobility and some are wheelchair users due to lack of mobility.
The school has recently moved to a new, larger site and the car parking for parents that drop off/collect their children is insufficient in number. Plus, in addition to the row of 'normal' spaces are two disabled spaces. Thats right, 2 spaces.
Anyway, some of the parents (myself included) need the use of the wider bays as our children use wheelchairs and we need to be able to fully open the door in order to lift them into the car and space around the perimeter of the car to wheel the chair to the boot and fold it up etc.
One of these spaces is always occupied by the grandparents (60's) of one child. Said child can walk and talk and get in and out of a car no problem. The grandparent has a disabled badge because he has got something going on with his leg as he walks with a bit of a limp.
I have been in to see the head teacher to informally complain about the spaces and lack of suitable ones. I mentioned the problem is exasperated by the disabled bays always being used by people who don't need to extra space they offer. The head new exactly who I was referring to and we had an off the record chat. Turns out said bloke is a member of the local council and was a parliamentary candidate a few years ago. He is also a retired police officer. He is a real miserable bloke with a proper high and mighty attitude.
The head sent out a note to all parents asking those that do not have children using a wheelchair to avoid taking up a disabled space to allow the parents of wheelchair using children to benefit from them and get their children in and out safely.
Now, our local councillor totally ignores this and continues to park there. There is a parking attendant/caretaker bloke who guides traffic and parking at the pick up/drop off time as its very very busy - some children arrive via specialised bus transport. The chap has spoken to the councillor and asked him to consider the request from the head. The councillor pulls the 'do you know who I am' card and flashes his own blue badge saying he is entitled to use the space. The fact is that he is right. He is legally allowed and is not breaking any law.
Morally though I think he is being a cock. It's not so bad for me as I'm a big chap at 6'2" and 16 stone and lifting my son in and out is manageable. Many of the other parents who collect are female and not nearly as strong unfortunately and some really struggle in the smaller, tight spaces. I think any decent person should acknowledge this and behave like a caring person.
Now - not one for taking things lying down I have been trying to think of a way to get him to see sense. He is all over facebook in the local community chat rooms and as I am a member too I was thinking of raising the subject and letting people know about the situation and effectively letting people know that their councillor is being selfish etc.
I now it's not a good plan and is somewhat underhand and cheap but I can't think of anything else.
Should I report him to the council? or should I just accept my position on the ladder of life and live with it. I just hate people lie this guy and the way they feel they are someone special and I feel I want to knock him down a peg or two.
Should I follow the official complaints route in order for the school to provide more disabled bays?
One thing to add - having a child with disabilities can at times be difficult and emotional so I would ask anyone thinking of taking the piss to think about things beforehand please
The school has recently moved to a new, larger site and the car parking for parents that drop off/collect their children is insufficient in number. Plus, in addition to the row of 'normal' spaces are two disabled spaces. Thats right, 2 spaces.
Anyway, some of the parents (myself included) need the use of the wider bays as our children use wheelchairs and we need to be able to fully open the door in order to lift them into the car and space around the perimeter of the car to wheel the chair to the boot and fold it up etc.
One of these spaces is always occupied by the grandparents (60's) of one child. Said child can walk and talk and get in and out of a car no problem. The grandparent has a disabled badge because he has got something going on with his leg as he walks with a bit of a limp.
I have been in to see the head teacher to informally complain about the spaces and lack of suitable ones. I mentioned the problem is exasperated by the disabled bays always being used by people who don't need to extra space they offer. The head new exactly who I was referring to and we had an off the record chat. Turns out said bloke is a member of the local council and was a parliamentary candidate a few years ago. He is also a retired police officer. He is a real miserable bloke with a proper high and mighty attitude.
The head sent out a note to all parents asking those that do not have children using a wheelchair to avoid taking up a disabled space to allow the parents of wheelchair using children to benefit from them and get their children in and out safely.
Now, our local councillor totally ignores this and continues to park there. There is a parking attendant/caretaker bloke who guides traffic and parking at the pick up/drop off time as its very very busy - some children arrive via specialised bus transport. The chap has spoken to the councillor and asked him to consider the request from the head. The councillor pulls the 'do you know who I am' card and flashes his own blue badge saying he is entitled to use the space. The fact is that he is right. He is legally allowed and is not breaking any law.
Morally though I think he is being a cock. It's not so bad for me as I'm a big chap at 6'2" and 16 stone and lifting my son in and out is manageable. Many of the other parents who collect are female and not nearly as strong unfortunately and some really struggle in the smaller, tight spaces. I think any decent person should acknowledge this and behave like a caring person.
Now - not one for taking things lying down I have been trying to think of a way to get him to see sense. He is all over facebook in the local community chat rooms and as I am a member too I was thinking of raising the subject and letting people know about the situation and effectively letting people know that their councillor is being selfish etc.
I now it's not a good plan and is somewhat underhand and cheap but I can't think of anything else.
Should I report him to the council? or should I just accept my position on the ladder of life and live with it. I just hate people lie this guy and the way they feel they are someone special and I feel I want to knock him down a peg or two.
Should I follow the official complaints route in order for the school to provide more disabled bays?
One thing to add - having a child with disabilities can at times be difficult and emotional so I would ask anyone thinking of taking the piss to think about things beforehand please
Thanks for the opinions
I'll be dead honest here - normally I would go and have a word. I'm a firm advocate of that approach. The thing is that at the moment my state of mind and emotional balance is not great. I have always struggled to accept what happened to our son but I get by. Recently I lost my mother in a quite traumatic way. Im not sleeping much at the moment and I 'tetchy' at best
In all honesty I worry that i'll go over, he will have a big man attitude and I'll end up losing my control. That is something inexcusable and I desperately want to avoid that.
I'll be dead honest here - normally I would go and have a word. I'm a firm advocate of that approach. The thing is that at the moment my state of mind and emotional balance is not great. I have always struggled to accept what happened to our son but I get by. Recently I lost my mother in a quite traumatic way. Im not sleeping much at the moment and I 'tetchy' at best
In all honesty I worry that i'll go over, he will have a big man attitude and I'll end up losing my control. That is something inexcusable and I desperately want to avoid that.
Thanks for the input all
The pickup time for the children is 15.15.
The other parents with wheelchair user children are all fed up with it too and we have done exactly what you suggest; hatched a plan where we get there earlier and get the spaces. It took 3 consecutive days going earlier each time to beat him there - he and his stone faced wife (recently elected to the council) arrive at 1440!
I'm not sure about the other parents but I work and (own small business) and it's hard to leaving really early.
The pickup time for the children is 15.15.
The other parents with wheelchair user children are all fed up with it too and we have done exactly what you suggest; hatched a plan where we get there earlier and get the spaces. It took 3 consecutive days going earlier each time to beat him there - he and his stone faced wife (recently elected to the council) arrive at 1440!
I'm not sure about the other parents but I work and (own small business) and it's hard to leaving really early.
Sorry for my belated reply; just getting chance to catch up.
Ive spoken with the head this morning and discussed getting the usage of the spaces defined in the school policy. This way they can police and enforce it easier.
To be fair, the bloke was not taking one up this morning but I was unsure if that was because they were taken before he arrived.
Ill keep this thread updated
Ive spoken with the head this morning and discussed getting the usage of the spaces defined in the school policy. This way they can police and enforce it easier.
To be fair, the bloke was not taking one up this morning but I was unsure if that was because they were taken before he arrived.
Ill keep this thread updated
He seldom gets off his arse and just waits in the car with his wife. Both of them just stare dead ahead and don't utter a word to one another.
The child in question is either picked up by her grandparents (the councillor and his wife) or her Father.
The Father has started to play ball and does not park in a disabled bay since the head issued the letter. Today the grandparents have followed suit and didn't take up a bay. It was good to see to parents making use of the bays and they were being used as they should be.
A bit more dirt...the little girl in question was in attendance at another school in another borough but has only recently (last 2 years) started at the school and she was taken out of her last school as the parents created a stink about something.
The grandparents - Grandfather is a long standing conservative member and a councillor for the town in question. He Miserable wife has also been voted onto the board.
The Father - he has also recently been voted in.
Sounds like jobs for the boys to me.
Anyway Ive decided that if school fail to manage the situation then I will take pics and report im to his superiors and or the local rag. Some people only respond to this type of thing and there is no talking to them
The child in question is either picked up by her grandparents (the councillor and his wife) or her Father.
The Father has started to play ball and does not park in a disabled bay since the head issued the letter. Today the grandparents have followed suit and didn't take up a bay. It was good to see to parents making use of the bays and they were being used as they should be.
A bit more dirt...the little girl in question was in attendance at another school in another borough but has only recently (last 2 years) started at the school and she was taken out of her last school as the parents created a stink about something.
The grandparents - Grandfather is a long standing conservative member and a councillor for the town in question. He Miserable wife has also been voted onto the board.
The Father - he has also recently been voted in.
Sounds like jobs for the boys to me.
Anyway Ive decided that if school fail to manage the situation then I will take pics and report im to his superiors and or the local rag. Some people only respond to this type of thing and there is no talking to them
Jonsv8 said:
lord trumpton said:
He seldom gets off his arse and just waits in the car with his wife. Both of them just stare dead ahead and don't utter a word to one another.
The child in question is either picked up by her grandparents (the councillor and his wife) or her Father.
The Father has started to play ball and does not park in a disabled bay since the head issued the letter. Today the grandparents have followed suit and didn't take up a bay. It was good to see to parents making use of the bays and they were being used as they should be.
A bit more dirt...the little girl in question was in attendance at another school in another borough but has only recently (last 2 years) started at the school and she was taken out of her last school as the parents created a stink about something.
The grandparents - Grandfather is a long standing conservative member and a councillor for the town in question. He Miserable wife has also been voted onto the board.
The Father - he has also recently been voted in.
Sounds like jobs for the boys to me.
Anyway Ive decided that if school fail to manage the situation then I will take pics and report im to his superiors and or the local rag. Some people only respond to this type of thing and there is no talking to them
You can't give jobs when it's councillors. If they are parish councillors they may well stand uncontested as typically no bugger wants the role.The child in question is either picked up by her grandparents (the councillor and his wife) or her Father.
The Father has started to play ball and does not park in a disabled bay since the head issued the letter. Today the grandparents have followed suit and didn't take up a bay. It was good to see to parents making use of the bays and they were being used as they should be.
A bit more dirt...the little girl in question was in attendance at another school in another borough but has only recently (last 2 years) started at the school and she was taken out of her last school as the parents created a stink about something.
The grandparents - Grandfather is a long standing conservative member and a councillor for the town in question. He Miserable wife has also been voted onto the board.
The Father - he has also recently been voted in.
Sounds like jobs for the boys to me.
Anyway Ive decided that if school fail to manage the situation then I will take pics and report im to his superiors and or the local rag. Some people only respond to this type of thing and there is no talking to them
I'm not sure slagging them off is dignifying your cause. Others may agree with you. But in what seems to be 24 hours they've taken the hint.
Just frustration I guess.
poolyman said:
I'm a long term carer for my 20 year old daughter who has PMLD and has needed a wheelchair for mobility most of her life. In the life that parents of disabled children lead there are so many frustrations, anxieties, and such a massive concern for a dearly loved child who will become an adult in a world that is ill at ease with disability. There are times that you are going to have to be have to be kind to yourself. I have met all manner of selfish, ignorant, nasty individuals who resent my daughter having a blue badge because I can park nearer the entrance to a supermarket. People tut and sigh because her wheelchair takes up space on crowded pavements. They whinge that she gets a motability car that is funded entirely by herself out of her DLA. But not one of these people would willingly swap their lives for hers and deal with the pain and crap she has had to put up with. Not one.
I have stopped being angry with these people. They don't matter and you cannot live your life being angry. You can't bring up your children being angry. Selfish people create a future for themselves that they richly deserve. To the OP. Just let it go man - it's a small dispute with a man who is incapable of seeing how his entitlements do not absolve him from responsibilities. And best of luck with the road you will have to travel because it's bumpy. My daughter gives the very best of herself to those around her everyday and she tries so very hard to be kind and friendly so that people value her individuality rather than focus on her obvious differences. So who is really the disabled one here ?
Thank you - I can totally relate to every word. I have stopped being angry with these people. They don't matter and you cannot live your life being angry. You can't bring up your children being angry. Selfish people create a future for themselves that they richly deserve. To the OP. Just let it go man - it's a small dispute with a man who is incapable of seeing how his entitlements do not absolve him from responsibilities. And best of luck with the road you will have to travel because it's bumpy. My daughter gives the very best of herself to those around her everyday and she tries so very hard to be kind and friendly so that people value her individuality rather than focus on her obvious differences. So who is really the disabled one here ?
Edited by poolyman on Wednesday 24th June 00:02
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff