Discussion
Really bad farts. I mean the ones where it feels only the tiniest amount of gas has escaped but the whole room stinks for the next three hours.
Been suffering a bit recently, the other night I nearly cleared out the entire pub.
What is going on and how to stop it? Eat charcoal?
thanks in anticipation.
Ex
Been suffering a bit recently, the other night I nearly cleared out the entire pub.
What is going on and how to stop it? Eat charcoal?
thanks in anticipation.
Ex
shirley temple said:
A Butt plug?
Superglue your sphincter closed when you go out, you can then dissolve the superglue when you are at a safe distance with a hip flask and acetone!
Edit:- By no means try lighting them, if they are "trebley" (as opposed to "Bassy") they are likely to have a high hydrocarbon content, the resulting explosion could grenade your entire colon.
>> Edited by love machine on Saturday 22 January 16:43
Alicatt said:
Fit a whistle so everyone can have advance warning
Not so good - the amount of gas is miniscule - sometimes I don't even noticed it's happened untill I have to leave the room for some clean air.
Also Google isn't helping much with trying to discover the "Speed of a fart"- I'm wondering whether when the whistle blows you'd be able to evacuate a whole room of people in time?
Ex
TheExcession said:
A Butt plug?
Hmmm....
At least I'd be getting some pleasure out of all this unpleasantness....
advise that you vacate the room periodically and remove the 'plug' and vent off the excess pressure and gas build up, a ballistic butt plug may prove an embarrassement
shirley temple said:
shirley temple said:
A Butt plug?
Hmmm....
At least I'd be getting some pleasure out of all this unpleasantness....
advise that you vacate the room periodically and remove the 'plug' and vent off the excess pressure and gas build up, a ballistic butt plug may prove an embarrassement
Or, on the other hand, might cause a lot of pongy burps.....
TheExcession said:
Fit a whistle so everyone can have advance warning
Not so good - the amount of gas is miniscule - sometimes I don't even noticed it's happened untill I have to leave the room for some clean air.
Also Google isn't helping much with trying to discover the "Speed of a fart"- I'm wondering whether when the whistle blows you'd be able to evacuate a whole room of people in time?
Ex
look up rate of diffusion
gtr-gaz said:
Switch to lager.
No way, the last time I drank 12 pints of Stella I got the squirts and felt sick for days.
gtr-gaz said:
If that doesn't solve it, then you can get charcoal underpants (seriously)
Bit like the oder eaters you can get for shoes? Maybe I could sellotape one of them across my crack?
TheExcession said:
look up rate of diffusion
that Brownian fellow has a lot to answer for!
Those amines and sulphides diffuse hell of a fast, hence a micro fart (couple of cc's) results in a uniform stench.
Chew your food, don't drink too much after a meal. Stick with food which your biology can hack. After brussels sprouts, my farts can stall cars.
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