The clever dumb balance isnt restored!
Discussion
After recieving some good news today regarding my job ie im not being made redundant after 1 week of shear hell as i await the news, i recieve a phone call from my sister to inform me that my dad has got lung cancer & that it has gone to far for them to operate! Sometimes life can be so cruel as i have just found out.
boobles said:
After recieving some good news today regarding my job ie im not being made redundant after 1 week of shear hell as i await the news, i recieve a phone call from my sister to inform me that my dad has got lung cancer & that it has gone to far for them to operate! Sometimes life can be so cruel as i have just found out.
My sympathy is with you. If it makes you feel any better, my mother has terminal ovarian cancer and was given a few months to live...two years ago. She's still up, about and cantankerous as ever, even though she does have bad stretches. My advice - make as much time for your dad as you can and make sure that every moment together is a special moment.
boobles said:
Thank you for the kind support but the only problem is that i live 5 hours drive away from him & cant spend hardly anytime in Yorkshire.
Make the time. Don't mean to be harsh - I don't know your situation, but as someone who lost both his parents to the big C within 3 months of each other, I just wish I'd had more time with them, especially my Dad who went very quickly leaving no real time to say all the things that I wanted to
Hello boobles.
After lurking for over a year, I've registered to post on your thread.
Firstly my simpathies at your recent news. I have been though a similar situation, where false hopes kept me ignoring the fact that my Dad was dying. I have regrets and I miss him every day. I had time to tell him I loved him and that he was the best Dad in the world, for that I am glad.
I can not emphasise enough how you must make time to do this now. Spend as much time as you can with him, learning things about him that you never knew. Sod work, sod everything else, I'd give up *everything* if I could just spend five more minutes with my Dad now.
There is not much more I can say without getting too morbid. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, NOW.
After lurking for over a year, I've registered to post on your thread.
Firstly my simpathies at your recent news. I have been though a similar situation, where false hopes kept me ignoring the fact that my Dad was dying. I have regrets and I miss him every day. I had time to tell him I loved him and that he was the best Dad in the world, for that I am glad.
I can not emphasise enough how you must make time to do this now. Spend as much time as you can with him, learning things about him that you never knew. Sod work, sod everything else, I'd give up *everything* if I could just spend five more minutes with my Dad now.
There is not much more I can say without getting too morbid. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, NOW.
Andy Pipkin said:
Hello boobles.
After lurking for over a year, I've registered to post on your thread.
Now theres a nice thing. After lurking for over a year, I've registered to post on your thread.
They say that as a man approaches death, the parts of him and his personality that "arent really him" start falling away, he becomes his more real self. It should be easier to talk to him now than before, and whilst I dont presume to know whats best for you or tell you what to do, perhaps you could somehow take more time off, take some happy pics, and have some fun times before he passes. Is compassionate leave an option, and if you were given some time, might you be able to bring some of it forward?
As has been mentioned, now is the time to try and do all those things you wont be able to do after he is gone. All the best.
Fellow PHers will know that my beloved father passed away after a fight against prostate cancer twelve weeks ago.
I am so sorry for your news.
It won't help now, but ponder on this when you feel able. I spent the last few weeks of my Dad's life while he was in the hospice caring for him, holding his hand, telling him how much I loved him and how he was my hero, and how I owe him everything.
I comforted him in his last hours, made sure that the doctors gave him everything he needed to take away the pain, and three or four hours before he lost consciousness for the last time, we shared a gin and tonic together in peaceful, companiable brotherly silence.
Many people never get the chance to say what needs to be said. You will have this chance.
Your Dad's time is coming to an end, but he will leave this room and step into the next having heard the words "I love you." At the end of the day, that is all any of us can wish for.
I wish you the best, friend.
I am so sorry for your news.
It won't help now, but ponder on this when you feel able. I spent the last few weeks of my Dad's life while he was in the hospice caring for him, holding his hand, telling him how much I loved him and how he was my hero, and how I owe him everything.
I comforted him in his last hours, made sure that the doctors gave him everything he needed to take away the pain, and three or four hours before he lost consciousness for the last time, we shared a gin and tonic together in peaceful, companiable brotherly silence.
Many people never get the chance to say what needs to be said. You will have this chance.
Your Dad's time is coming to an end, but he will leave this room and step into the next having heard the words "I love you." At the end of the day, that is all any of us can wish for.
I wish you the best, friend.
Edited by Vesuvius 996 on Friday 16th February 17:09
Everybody who has contributed to this thread, first of all a huge thank you. You are absolutely right in saying that i have to make the time to see him possibly for the last time, so i plan to travel up to Yorshire on Tuesday & work will have to like it or lump it.Thank you to all of you from the bottom of my heart.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff