My arse is on fire!

[Patel @ No 42]

Had a real hot kebab today, and its knocked my bowels out of order! The tequilla from last night probably doesnt help.

How many of you have been stuck in the car whilst waiting to have a crap, only to realise that its all solidified and now you got an extreme case of constipation?

A mate reckons I shove a small bottle of sunflower oil up the hole and squeeze all the juice in? Any of you tried that????

Any suggestions? I'm feeling all green right now!

[vixpy1]

Thanks for sharing Ash

[Podie]

Patel @ No 42 said:

A mate reckons I shove a small bottle of sunflower oil up the hole and squeeze all the juice in? Any of you tried that????

er... nope.

Try root ginger...

[rev-erend]

I see he has moved on from praising whichever indy has the Phoenotix..

[vixpy1]

Podie said:

Patel @ No 42 said:

A mate reckons I shove a small bottle of sunflower oil up the hole and squeeze all the juice in? Any of you tried that????

er... nope.

Try root ginger...

Figging

[cossiemetro]

parafin is good thats what the VET use's

[ahhh moneypenny]

Or hook out the plug (thats what nurses call the hard bit of shit at the base of your bum that hold the rest up) with your little finger

[vixpy1]

ahhh moneypenny said:

Or hook out the plug (thats what nurses call the hard bit of shit at the base of your bum that hold the rest up) with your little finger

I feel

[JulianHJ]

vixpy1 said:

Figging

[Nicholas Blair]

Toilet roll in the fridge ?

[Autonotiv]

vixpy1 said:

ahhh moneypenny said:

Or hook out the plug (thats what nurses call the hard bit of shit at the base of your bum that hold the rest up) with your little finger

I feel

So do I

[Minnie]

I'd recommend another kebab!

Make sure the "meat" has been left out in the sun for a few hours and that the salad is a week old....I'm sure that will help with your problem!

[vixpy1]

Curry always cures that problem!

[roop]

Do what mathematicians do - work it out with a pencil

[Touching Cloth]

roop said:

Do what mathematicians do - work it out with a pencil

I like that one

[ZR1cliff]

ahhh moneypenny said:

Or hook out the plug (thats what nurses call the hard bit of shit at the base of your bum that hold the rest up) with your little finger

Is that why some of you girls try to do the disapearing finger trick

[lunarscope]

Optrex.

[fido]

lunarscope said:

Optrex.

but surely the cap will get stuck up there as well?!

[allnighter]

Minnie said:

I'd recommend another kebab!

Make sure the "meat" has been left out in the sun for a few hours and that the salad is a week old....I'm sure that will help with your problem!

It'll have a quicker effect if Moneypenny has gobbed on it already.

[ATG]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

"will set you right"...



Dr B.Rascal cures another patient

Edited by ATG on Tuesday 13th June 17:11